A unique and kind of sad recruit story

[AZTheta]

Here's what I 've been thinking since this thread began:

"The lady doth protest too much, methinks"

Hamlet Act 3, scene 2, 222–230

[Stanleypeep]

Omit the word "doth" and you have a solid argument

[SydneyK]

I know I'll regret asking this, but it's in my nature to question everything, so I can't help it.

Why share this story now? And why are you sharing it with us?

I'm having a hard time believing that you're just wanting to "compliment" Greek women, or that you're hoping to prevent PNMs from making mistakes similar to yours. All potential good intentions are overshadowed by negative remarks about certain groups on your campus, or by asking us questions about new members not being punished appropriately, etc... It really does seem like you have a hidden agenda, and until you can convince us otherwise, I have a feeling you'll continue to be treated like a troll. (And even if you give a good answer, some of us will still probably think you're lying just to save face.) The whole thing is just... off.

[Stanleypeep]

Why share this story now? And why are you sharing it with us?

To be honest, I have ABSOLUTELY no idea. But it was sparked by my own recent reflection on the last 10 years of my life and things that have happened and what I've learned. And having recognized and remembered this had happened, I recognized how far I've come in a lot of personal struggles. I have nothing to lose or gain in telling you all about those details that are more personal. However, I've never had a hard time sharing things like that with anyone, as I've always been an incredibly honest person.

It was a reflection on, I don't know if I'd call them mistakes, but choices I made where the outcome wasn't quite what I had expected. I'm a completely different person now, and having remembered my experience, I remembered how much I admired those girls that had such a commitment to and organization and each other. I was a little disappointed that I would never understand what truly brings them together as that is the experience I neglected to have.

Given all that happened, if it happened the same exact way I would likely make the same choices. In this silly reflection, I began just in boredom searching desperately to try to understand the concept of what they all had together that even though I was close with them, I wouldn't share that common experience. In my travels I stubbled upon the forum and began reading all these stories of the recruitment of other girls and the PNM's and I just felt like, I kind of owe it to the girls I was friendly with and other girls who may become part of any of these organizations, to share an honest, very personal and bittersweet account of what I experienced.

Although I recognize that some of you may or may not have been offended by my candor. I believe I stated up front, but I'll repeat it again, it was never the intent to insult, belittle, or defame any individual or organization. However, I know there are those people who respect and value honesty the way I do, and I'm sure you all know that just because you don't particularly see eye to eye with someone doesn't mean you don't respect them.

I doubt the girls I knew well or were even acquainted with will ever know, nor may they ever fully appreciate how much I respect all of those women, even the ones I didn't warm to, for their commitment to an organization and each other, one which I will never come to understand quite like they do.

I made my point with myself, call it a "peace" with myself and I'm proud of that.

I think the funny thing is...I thought, perhaps naively, this would go over much differently than it did. Based on all your reactions, which honestly I really didn't expect, it now brings up questions which I really want to ask. I would never do that. I didn't think I was really crossing any boundaries or lines by being honest. And so I won't cross those lines either, mostly for respect for my friends and for the continued respect of your organizations.

I guess I didn't suppose what I was saying was as sensitive as it seems. Some of the suspicion seems a little strange to me to be frank, because I mean, what to I have to gain other than "closure". But maybe the supsicion is rooted in part from the unspoken shared understanding that I'll never come to fully get to experience or understand myself.

Much love and good wishes to all of you girls and I still have nothing but respect and admiration.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep

To be honest, I have ABSOLUTELY no idea. But it was sparked by my own recent reflection on the last 10 years of my life and things that have happened and what I've learned. And having recognized and remembered this had happened, I recognized how far I've come in a lot of personal struggles. I have nothing to lose or gain in telling you all about those details that are more personal. However, I've never had a hard time sharing things like that with anyone, as I've always been an incredibly honest person.

It was a reflection on, I don't know if I'd call them mistakes, but choices I made where the outcome wasn't quite what I had expected. I'm a completely different person now, and having remembered my experience, I remembered how much I admired those girls that had such a commitment to and organization and each other. I was a little disappointed that I would never understand what truly brings them together as that is the experience I neglected to have.

Given all that happened, if it happened the same exact way I would likely make the same choices. In this silly reflection, I began just in boredom searching desperately to try to understand the concept of what they all had together that even though I was close with them, I wouldn't share that common experience. In my travels I stubbled upon the forum and began reading all these stories of the recruitment of other girls and the PNM's and I just felt like, I kind of owe it to the girls I was friendly with and other girls who may become part of any of these organizations, to share an honest, very personal and bittersweet account of what I experienced.

Although I recognize that some of you may or may not have been offended by my candor. I believe I stated up front, but I'll repeat it again, it was never the intent to insult, belittle, or defame any individual or organization. However, I know there are those people who respect and value honesty the way I do, and I'm sure you all know that just because you don't particularly see eye to eye with someone doesn't mean you don't respect them.

I doubt the girls I knew well or were even acquainted with will ever know, nor may they ever fully appreciate how much I respect all of those women, even the ones I didn't warm to, for their commitment to an organization and each other, one which I will never come to understand quite like they do.

I made my point with myself, call it a "peace" with myself and I'm proud of that.

I think the funny thing is...I thought, perhaps naively, this would go over much differently than it did. Based on all your reactions, which honestly I really didn't expect, it now brings up questions which I really want to ask. I would never do that. I didn't think I was really crossing any boundaries or lines by being honest. And so I won't cross those lines either, mostly for respect for my friends and for the continued respect of your organizations.

I guess I didn't suppose what I was saying was as sensitive as it seems. Some of the suspicion seems a little strange to me to be frank, because I mean, what to I have to gain other than "closure". But maybe the supsicion is rooted in part from the unspoken shared understanding that I'll never come to fully get to experience or understand myself.

Much love and good wishes to all of you girls and I still have nothing but respect and admiration.

This isn't honesty, it's throwing shade in an attempt to gain sympathy.

I mean, really.

Everything that you said about wanting to "help PNMs and give them advice" could have been done with one or 2 posts in one of our many advice threads.

It certainly could have been done without naming names.

The fact that you went through this entire detailed story (complete with random shade-throwing questions disguised as concern and chapter names) reveals your true intent.

[Stanleypeep]

Again, I don't know why I'd want sympathy. And for the PNM's the more information the better, don't you think? None of this was for any kind of attention. I'm surprised anyone even payed any notice. And I could care less about it to boot.

Take it for face value, no malicious intent. At least not on my part.

I think more than anything you should take the note of overanalyzing things and learn from my mistakes of overanalyzing things during the experience as a lesson. It makes you go crazy.

It was what it was. Plain and simple. And I'm happy for that.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep

Again, I don't know why I'd want sympathy. And for the PNM's the more information the better, don't you think?

Unless your parents were old when they had you, you've been out of school for quite a while and the makeup of the sororities may have done a 180 from what it was when you were a student. You don't seem to realize that when a PNM going through rush googles {"URI" "Insert sorority name here"} that this page comes up and they immediately read "oh wow, XYZ sorority at URI is so and so - maybe I should rethink rushing them." Hopefully they'd be more openminded, but the fact is, if they're torn between two groups, yes, this kind of stuff CAN tip them from one to the other.

So don't give this BS about "helping the PNMs" when it's all about putting a grubby vindictive footprint in cyberspace instead.

[Stanleypeep]

Unless your parents were old when they had you

They were actually.

[Stanleypeep]

Hopefully they'd be more openminded

One would hope.

And perhaps they should read the entire thing to understand that its really a positive message and not a negative one as most of you seemed to take it. I understand that people can read into things and take it more personally than they need to. (Hopefully they know this is a personal experience and anything said about specific members were comments on individuals and not the entire organization. I think this is pretty apparent by now.)

I would you would understand the difference and others would as well. If you don't then perhaps you should rethink.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, anyone reading the entire story should look at the minute details as part of a much larger (more positive) message.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by Stanleypeep

One would hope.

And perhaps they should read the entire thing to understand that its really a positive message and not a negative one as most of you seemed to take it. I understand that people can read into things and take it more personally than they need to. (Hopefully they know this is a personal experience and anything said about specific members were comments on individuals and not the entire organization. I think this is pretty apparent by now.)

I would you would understand the difference and others would as well. If you don't then perhaps you should rethink.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, anyone reading the entire story should look at the minute details as part of a much larger (more positive) message.

For what it's worth, I saw it as positive.

[Barbie's_Rush]

The End

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

For what it's worth, I saw it as positive.

I didn't see it as a terrible thing either. I agree that someone might be slightly offended because of some less than tactful comments, but I am giving props to the OP for not continuing to point fingers or blame. I think her explanation rings genuine. Maybe not well thought out - but genuine feelings. And, in reading back over the thread, I do think she was reflecting on her own insecurities, hang ups, misinterpretations, etc. She has tried to calmly explain herself (no flounce or insults) repeatedly, has apologized and tried to explain the reasons she posted.

Whatever her reasons, I have read trolls who have acted far worse,set out to make a mockery of Greek life, planned their whole thread to make GC members angry, and accomplished it. I don't think that was the case here.

Sometimes people say and do things without thinking it all the way through...that is my opinion of the OP's faux pas with some of her more revealing details.

I do agree that Stanleypeep should quit trying to explain herself. It isn't going to get any better because the damage is done for some people and no amount of explanation is going to change minds.

[ASUADPi]

I'll probably get flamed for this but....


How about we just abandon this thread, stop replying and therefore we stop giving the OP the attention that she is obviously so richly craving!

[twinkle555]

Originally Posted by ASUADPi

I'll probably get flamed for this but....


How about we just abandon this thread, stop replying and therefore we stop giving the OP the attention that she is obviously so richly craving!

Good Lord..I coudnt agree more!

[SWTXBelle]

I was just waiting for the sequined panty hose.