Can I get some advice?

[Psi U MC Vito]

They are friendly and accepting ,yet you don't like the stuff that goes on in the house. oooooooookay.

[MysticCat]

I think if you look around here, you'll find lots of people had some adjustment getting used to the people in their chapters. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Like I said before, ultimately only you can figure it out, and at the risk of a cliche, it's likely to be what you make of it.

As to your name,

Originally Posted by KappaSig123

I didnt think it would be that big of a deal.

I'm sure no harm was intended. But now you know that most fraternity and sorority members would consider it a very big deal.

Originally Posted by VandalSquirrel

You also may want to stop referring to it as a frat, some people find that offensive for whatever reason.

Originally Posted by 33girl

Yes, for the love of all that's holy stop calling it a frat. You sound either like someone writing a bad 80s sitcom or a piece of trailer trash when you do so.

Originally Posted by KappaSig123

Half the guys in the house call it a Frat

Like VandalSquirrel said, some people find it very offensive, but not everyone does. Most fraternity HQs heavily discourage use of the word because of the Animal House/frat boy connotation. (No stupid or profane analogies are needed beyond that.)

Its a g*d damn internet message board. I mean who cares what I call myself for one thread.

Like I said, most members of fraternities tend to care a great deal.

The point is, if you're asking people for advice, you usually get further if you don't offend them. Calling yourself "KappaSig" when you're not one yet and using the word "frat," even if the brothers in the chapter use it, are pretty much guaranteed to offend a good number of people on a Greek chat board. It is what it is.

[dreamseeker]

Originally Posted by MysticCat

I think if you look around here, you'll find lots of people had some adjustment getting used to the people in their chapters. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Like I said before, ultimately only you can figure it out, and at the risk of a cliche, it's likely to be what you make of it.

As to your name,
I'm sure no harm was intended. But now you know that most fraternity and sorority members would consider it a very big deal.





Like VandalSquirrel said, some people find it very offensive, but not everyone does. Most fraternity HQs heavily discourage use of the word because of the Animal House/frat boy connotation. (No stupid or profane analogies are needed beyond that.)

Like I said, most members of fraternities tend to care a great deal.

The point is, if you're asking people for advice, you usually get further if you don't offend them. Calling yourself "KappaSig" when you're not one yet and using the word "frat," even if the brothers in the chapter use it, are pretty much guaranteed to offend a good number of people on a Greek chat board. It is what it is.

you wouldn't call your country.............

[TSteven]

What MysticCat said is spot on. Now, as to your specific questions.

Originally Posted by KappaSig123

My question is that after reading about me do you think I can find my niche in a frat?

You might find a niche in *a* fraternity. However, from what you have described about yourself and your personal views on this chapter, perhaps this chapter is not for you.

Originally Posted by KappaSig123

Do you think maybe I'm just nervous because this is my first week and I should worry less?

I don't know if it is nerves or something else. Regardless, you should worry less. Or at least not over think it. If you are not a fit with the chapter, then so be it. It is as simple as that.

Originally Posted by KappaSig123

Have you guys ever regretted offering someone a bid?

Personally, no. However, I have known those who have regretted bidding someone. Which is why some fraternities and/or chapters have a membership vote before a pledge is allowed to initiate.

Originally Posted by KappaSig123

Should I know more people by now?

Not necessarily. Part of the pledge (new member) process is getting to know both your pledge brothers and the actives better. And for them to know you better.

Originally Posted by KappaSig123

Does the frat really care about how many "outside" friends you have or "female" connections?

Some fraternities might care while other chapters may not.

Originally Posted by KappaSig123

I mean I love all the brothers. They are all very cool/nice guys. I mean I tried to break up a fight with a brother and another guy. I got these guys backs. I love the house, the organization, everything. The only thing I'm worried about is if I fit in with them? I don't want to be like the only guy in the frat who doesn't get laid and get hell for it because I don't hook up with random sluts. Or I don't want to go to parties with these guys and feel like an outsider who they regret letting in.

It really is simple. If you are comfortable with the majority of your pledge brothers and the chapter, then you should consider staying and continue pledging. You may always drop prior to initiation. However, if you are not comfortable - nor do you anticipate any positive change in your comfort level - then you should drop.

Originally Posted by KappaSig123

All I wanted to know was how a frat is like for new guys who don't know a lot of people yet.

It may be difficult at first for some guys to feel a connection. Yet for others, it is an easy fit from the get go. It really depends on the individual, the chapter, and the campus culture.

Best of luck to you.