Preparing for recruitment since birth

[ellebud]

Really interesting article. Lots of food for thought. And, like the author of the Essence piece (who didn't join a sorority, but she looked around), when I rushed (at the school where I rushed) Jewish girls went one place. If you read my recruitment story I said that I didn't remember if there were Black or Asian girls who went through. (It has been a long time.)

When I transferred universities my house already had Black members. We were a "top" house at that university. The biggest challenge was at that time (think Black Power) for the Black girls in the house was that they wouldn't speak to US when they were with their Black friends. (No comment.)

But for my daughter there were lots of choices and she made the most of them. Her house has Jews and Christians. All races...and yes, they are sisters.

[DrPhil]

I accidentally scrolled too far and read the comments section instead of the article. I have yet to read the actual article. I found this comment interesting. It's really long and here's the middle of the comment:

"BGLO continued the mission of great pioneers such as the Quakers (White I might add) who founded Howard University for BLACK students because they weren't allowed at most institutions at the time. They participated in the 1930s Women's Suffrage Marches to support women of ALL races in their efforts to be recognized as citizens and NOT property. Yes the majority of BGLO members are Black. But the majority of Pan-Hellenic groups are White. What is your point?! We didn't join because our fellow members' skin color resembled ours. We joined to CONTINUE the legacy set forth."

I agree with her assessment of the other reasons why BGLOers generally join BGLOs. However, she spoke too definitively on the bolded. One of the reasons that I pursued a BGLO is because it is predominantly Black and African diasporic. There's nothing wrong with that and I believe that plenty of NPHC, NPC, and NIC members feel that way (whether they admit it or not). Such social constructs are connected to history and traditions and factor into how people are prepared for recruitment/membership since birth.

[flowerpower83]

How is it not grooming when you raise your child to want to be ABC like you? It might be second nature but second nature is things we learn. I think the person who is raised to be a legacy has an unprecedent amout of pressure to join and are even more concerned about the image of the sorority and girls. I would have to say in the South the legacy to ABC even if she doesn't fit still might get in. The North, South, East, West all to some extent fear the unknown and like to hold on to tradition as a safety blanket. To atleast one person in the house they don't see us as being part of them but we are. There are girls who down right broke every rule and shouldn't have be allowed to join just to change their silver-spooned attitude but with recommendation letters from a governor's wife and a major CEO how can you say no. Her strong connections make your chapter look good even if you don't like her.

[ucsbgirl]

I think it's probably much different to be "raised" as a legacy in the South as opposed to other places. I'm from California (actually many places but that's the easiest answer) I'm a legacy (via my mom) to a pretty well-known national sorority. I've always known about sororities, and I think that when I rush this fall my mom does have some hope that I'll carry on the tradition. She's "prepared" me in the sense that she has talked to me about the pros and cons of recruitment, why she joined, what she liked, what she wasn't crazy about. And sometimes she says things like "Oh, that would be a cute rush outfit" or "Such and such would be a good thing to bring up in a conversation during rush".

That being said, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't join her sorority or even if I chose not to rush at all, and while I've been "prepped from birth" somewhat, because I'm a little bit more familiar with Greek life than most people, I still am nowhere near the level of intensity as someone from a much more competitive area. Not even close.

[TLLK]

Originally Posted by ucsbgirl

I think it's probably much different to be "raised" as a legacy in the South as opposed to other places. I'm from California (actually many places but that's the easiest answer) I'm a legacy (via my mom) to a pretty well-known national sorority. I've always known about sororities, and I think that when I rush this fall my mom does have some hope that I'll carry on the tradition. She's "prepared" me in the sense that she has talked to me about the pros and cons of recruitment, why she joined, what she liked, what she wasn't crazy about. And sometimes she says things like "Oh, that would be a cute rush outfit" or "Such and such would be a good thing to bring up in a conversation during rush".

That being said, it wouldn't be the end of the world if I didn't join her sorority or even if I chose not to rush at all, and while I've been "prepped from birth" somewhat, because I'm a little bit more familiar with Greek life than most people, I still am nowhere near the level of intensity as someone from a much more competitive area. Not even close.

My parents never even mentioned that they were Greeks until I'd graduated from high school. My mother had quietly joined the local alumnae group and had secured recommendations for me, but didn't share that with me. It was only when the Panhellenic recruitment guide arrived that she pointed it out to me and said that I might want to consider rushing my freshman year. I asked them about their experiences in their GLO and what they thought about it. What tipped my decision was when I realized that all of my mother's closest friends were her sorority sisters. They'd been friends for decades and I admired that aspect of Greek life.

When the time came I felt that I was well prepared because she'd given me good tips for a successful rush. I chose to call her at the end of each day and share my experiences. She stayed neutral and positive about each organization. When I made my choice to join her group, I knew I'd made the right decision for me. Two years later she did the same for my sister and she happily joined as well.

My daughter is a junior in high school and is preparing to start the college application process. A year from now we'll be celebrating her high school graduation and college acceptance. She knows that I was in a sorority only because my husband mentioned it when I'd attended a Founder's Day event. As a GDI he likes to tease me about that time in my life.
Occasionally she asks me, my sister and mother about why we joined and what were the positive aspects about it. She's heard about what we enjoyed and what we didn't like about it. At this point in time I'm not sure if she's going to go through recruitment but if she doesn't that's okay. However if she does, I'll do my best to prepare her and to support her during the process. In the end it must be her decision and I have to let her make her own way on this journey.

[AnchorAlumna]

Originally Posted by TLLK

My parents never even mentioned that they were Greeks until I'd graduated from high school. My mother had quietly joined the local alumnae group and had secured recommendations for me, but didn't share that with me. It was only when the Panhellenic recruitment guide arrived that she pointed it out to me and said that I might want to consider rushing my freshman year. I asked them about their experiences in their GLO and what they thought about it. What tipped my decision was when I realized that all of my mother's closest friends were her sorority sisters. They'd been friends for decades and I admired that aspect of Greek life.

When the time came I felt that I was well prepared because she'd given me good tips for a successful rush. I chose to call her at the end of each day and share my experiences. She stayed neutral and positive about each organization. When I made my choice to join her group, I knew I'd made the right decision for me. Two years later she did the same for my sister and she happily joined as well.

My daughter is a junior in high school and is preparing to start the college application process. A year from now we'll be celebrating her high school graduation and college acceptance. She knows that I was in a sorority only because my husband mentioned it when I'd attended a Founder's Day event. As a GDI he likes to tease me about that time in my life.
Occasionally she asks me, my sister and mother about why we joined and what were the positive aspects about it. She's heard about what we enjoyed and what we didn't like about it. At this point in time I'm not sure if she's going to go through recruitment but if she doesn't that's okay. However if she does, I'll do my best to prepare her and to support her during the process. In the end it must be her decision and I have to let her make her own way on this journey.

Your mom may have been low-key, but you know she was totally thrilled that you joined her sorority! Did she participate in your initiation?
My sorority was not on campus when I went through. I was kind of glad. I would have been crushed if she had turned up her nose at my chapter.

[TLLK]

LOL I should state that on the surface that she was low key, but inside she was absolutely thrilled to have both of her daughters join her chapter of Delta Gamma. I remember walking into the house kitchen the day my sister received her bid to find her crying tears of joy with our chapter advisor. She was always present at Founders' Day events and helped behind the scenes during recruitment.

Yes she was there to initiate me and two years later she was there to do the same for my sister.

Should her granddaughter choose to go through recruitment and join DG, then I expect to see her at her initiation too.

[GreekOne]

I am sure she was thrilled. I did not want to put any pressure on my daughter, but was beyond excited when she sent me the text with her bid card displaying the DG crest!! Attending her initiation and Mom/Daughter DG weekends have been the absolute best!!

[sissyintexas]

This is a great topic! I know this thread is old, but fascinating. Have things changed just a little bit? I'm not sure.

[FSUZeta]

But we know it is true because we have seen the bid lists with names and hometown listed. There may be fewer OOS girls in certain chapters, but there are also fewer girls from Podunk, Alabama or Rival HS in there. With 15-16 other chapters to choose from, OOS still have choices.

[Sciencewoman]

Jane Austen was writing about this 200 years ago.