Preparing for recruitment since birth

[LadyLonghorn]

Originally Posted by chopperdude

are so called second tier groups even though the are strong nationals still good organizations?
it is a shame that a chapter on a campus is not in the top what ever but is still strong nation wide and they have family who in that organization. we have gone through many changes over the years so things do change.

Your knowledge of sororities and tiers at competitive schools is so admirable, Tom.

[carnation]

Just interested and Low C Sharp are right on the money here. There is constant drilling going on by the families of the Mary Sues but it may not directly pertain to rush at all, rather to how the Mary Sues are expected to live their lives--and the 'right' bid should follow. Back in the day, it usually did.

With release figures being the way they are now, though, it's not a given that the 'right' bid will follow. There are so so many Mary Sues out there plus a lot of other girls whom the sororities are interested in because of their great grades and strong activities and you just can't count on getting a bid from certain groups anymore.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by carnation

There are so so many Mary Sues out there plus a lot of other girls whom the sororities are interested in because of their great grades and strong activities and you just can't count on getting a bid from certain groups anymore.

Yep.

This is where being a Mary Sue goes wrong (potentially...if Mary Sue's school sees a large # of legacies and uses the RFM).

This is why it's important for all PNMs (whether they're Mary Sues or Suzy Janes) to keep an open mind. We all know that, but alot of times, there's no such thing as an open mind when ABC is all you know (from your family, hometown, HS clique, etc).

As alumnae, we have the benefit of knowing that one CAN be happy in a chapter other than (example) ABC, but it's different when you might not even know anyone in your immediate circle who didn't pledge that sorority. You probably don't want to be known as "the Anytown ABC legacy that went XYZ."

I guess if a Mary Sue does get cut from her ABC, it comes down to whether she would rather not be Greek in Anytown OR be an XYZ or something else at Anytown (in a family of ABCs). In a perfect world, Mary Sue's family members wouldn't care and would just be happy she's happy, but that's not always the case.

[Just interested]

To answer TriDeltaSallie, from what I've seen over the years, and this is just my observation, many moms from my part of the world anyway, would prefer their daughter go Top Tier, over their own group even their own chapter. I have seen it too many times. They call it finding the best fit for their daughter. It is moving up the social ladder. They have seen to it that daughter went to right HS, the right summer camp and I hate to say this, even the right church. This is certainly not everyone but it is enough to be noticed by those of us who work on Reference Boards. It is an amazing thing to watch as an observer to positioning that takes place. This is going to be an interesting thread.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by Just interested

To answer TriDeltaSallie, from what I've seen over the years, and this is just my observation, many moms from my part of the world anyway, would prefer their daughter go Top Tier, over their own group even their own chapter. I have seen it too many times. They call it finding the best fit for their daughter. It is moving up the social ladder. They have seen to it that daughter went to right HS, the right summer camp and I hate to say this, even the right church. This is certainly not everyone but it is enough to be noticed by those of us who work on Reference Boards. It is an amazing thing to watch as an observer to positioning that takes place. This is going to be an interesting thread.

Could you give some examples of how moving to the "top tier" would change life for Mary Sue? Would her "top tier" status impact the rest of her ABC family relations? If so, how so? And if not, why not?

[aopirose]

Originally Posted by TriDeltaSallie

Could you give some examples of how moving to the "top tier" would change life for Mary Sue? Would her "top tier" status impact the rest of her ABC family relations? If so, how so? And if not, why not?

A lady that I know is a 60-year-plus member of her GLO. A few years ago she told me that she was sorry that she joined ABC because after she graduated, she was not invited to join certain organizations. She felt certain that it was because she was an ABC and the women in charge of the organizations were XYZs.

When her daughters and granddaughters rushed, she never even mentioned that she was an ABC even though there were chapters at those schools. She was so proud when her girls joined the "right" houses and that one granddaughter was an XYZ. According to her, that XYZ pin opened the gates of heaven for the girl. She was invited to join all the organizations that her she "couldn't" and that she was very proud that her ABC legacy status didn't taint her. I sat there stunned and then I told her that I was sorry that she felt that way. I also told her that I belonged to a couple of her "dream" organizations and that I knew for a fact that there were many ABCs who were quite involved. One ABC was even president! She didn't know what to say. Some things do change over 50 years.

[carnation]

To the top!

[TriDeltaSallie]

It's funny this got bumped. I STILL think of that little Theta cheerleader story from time to time. I'd love to know what happens to her eventually. LOL!

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Just interested

To answer TriDeltaSallie, from what I've seen over the years, and this is just my observation, many moms from my part of the world anyway, would prefer their daughter go Top Tier, over their own group even their own chapter. I have seen it too many times. They call it finding the best fit for their daughter. It is moving up the social ladder. They have seen to it that daughter went to right HS, the right summer camp and I hate to say this, even the right church. This is certainly not everyone but it is enough to be noticed by those of us who work on Reference Boards. It is an amazing thing to watch as an observer to positioning that takes place. This is going to be an interesting thread.

We must be from the same part of the world. This sounds like the people I grew up around to me.

[ASTalumna06]

I was actually thinking about this thread the other day. In reference to "brainwashing" at such a young age..

A girl who I went to school with and very much like, is basically having a baby as I speak (or type, rather). She's having a daughter. She had posted pics of the nursery her and her husband decorated and furnished, and there was a picture of the crib... with a ladybug pillow and blanket.

Someone, who I'm guessing is one of her sisters, commented on how much she loved the ladybugs. Mother-to-be commented back, "She's doomed to be an ASA from birth; her birthstone will either be a Pearl (June) or a Ruby (July), my parents already call her "ladybug", and her middle name is Phoenix.

The friend replied, "How perfect is all of that! She is absolutely meant to be a baby bug!"

Talk about pressure...

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I was actually thinking about this thread the other day. In reference to "brainwashing" at such a young age..

A girl who I went to school with and very much like, is basically having a baby as I speak (or type, rather). She's having a daughter. She had posted pics of the nursery her and her husband decorated and furnished, and there was a picture of the crib... with a ladybug pillow and blanket.

Someone, who I'm guessing is one of her sisters, commented on how much she loved the ladybugs. Mother-to-be commented back, "She's doomed to be an ASA from birth; her birthstone will either be a Pearl (June) or a Ruby (July), my parents already call her "ladybug", and her middle name is Phoenix.

The friend replied, "How perfect is all of that! She is absolutely meant to be a baby bug!"

Talk about pressure...

Damn. My whole family is Greek and the women are mostly Kappa Deltas, but there were no "Future KD" baby clothes involved in my upbringing. And if I have a daughter I won't be doing that to her either. I wonder how bad the ones that don't get in to their mother's chapter feel.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

I was actually thinking about this thread the other day. In reference to "brainwashing" at such a young age..

A girl who I went to school with and very much like, is basically having a baby as I speak (or type, rather). She's having a daughter. She had posted pics of the nursery her and her husband decorated and furnished, and there was a picture of the crib... with a ladybug pillow and blanket.

Someone, who I'm guessing is one of her sisters, commented on how much she loved the ladybugs. Mother-to-be commented back, "She's doomed to be an ASA from birth; her birthstone will either be a Pearl (June) or a Ruby (July), my parents already call her "ladybug", and her middle name is Phoenix.

The friend replied, "How perfect is all of that! She is absolutely meant to be a baby bug!"

Talk about pressure...

No she's not. I'm going to give her a no-rec for having parents who middle named her Phoenix. Baby bug = BARF. I hope to heaven they're kidding around and not serious.

ETA by the time I was a sorority member for a year or so, I knew well enough the vast differences between chapters to not automatically say "I want my daughter to be an ASA." I'd encountered chapters I'd be horribly uncomfortable in - why on earth would I think my daughter would be less so?

Then again, the kind of thing we're talking about in this thread seems (at least for the social climbers) to have very little to do with the daughter or son's comfort or happiness. Ditto the women who are desparately trying (on their own) to shoehorn themselves into chapters they have nothing in common with. It's bad enough if you're just trying to do that because XYZ is the most popular group on campus. It's even worse if you feel it's going to affect the rest of your life on a daily basis.

[DrPhil]

On another note, people tend to discuss this as it pertains to sororities (not just because the people in this thread are in sororities) but such preparation also happens with many fraternity legacies. Maybe the connotation is different when it comes to fraternities and I think that might be a gendered double standard.

[Low C Sharp]

Like I said in my post, Mary Sue isn't coached and drilled on recruitment because it isn't neccessary. She knows (based on her social circle) where she'll end up and there's no need for these extensive preparations that we read about (e.g. hiring rush coaches, interview coaches, voraciously hunting down outfits, etc).

I might add that Mary Sue IS drilled and coached on the skills and rules that will serve her in recruitment...but from age 3 to age 15, not as a high school senior. No one is born knowing that you don't wear white shoes after Labor Day. Mary Sue's mama made sure she knew about that. School-aged Mary Sue went to dancing class and tea parties and cotillions where she had a chance to practice her social graces (and mama had a chance to whip her into shape if she made any mistakes). She IS groomed from birth, but for the life of the social elite in Anytown, not for rush per se.

The first few pages of a novel about Mary Sue, which Mary Sue wrote in her 50s and which you can read on Amazon, explain the process in detail:

http://www.amazon.com/Heartbreak-Hot...der_1416544909
________

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by Low C Sharp

I might add that Mary Sue IS drilled and coached on the skills and rules that will serve her in recruitment...but from age 3 to age 15, not as a high school senior. No one is born knowing that you don't wear white shoes after Labor Day. Mary Sue's mama made sure she knew about that. School-aged Mary Sue went to dancing class and tea parties and cotillions where she had a chance to practice her social graces (and mama had a chance to whip her into shape if she made any mistakes). She IS groomed from birth, but for the life of the social elite in Anytown, not for rush per se.

This.

Good job.