I don't think you have anything to be ashamed of.
We had a new member who went through the pledging process, but he was so busy with other things in his life that he ended up missing a lot of the new member activities. We, as a chapter, felt as though it would not be fair to initiate someone who put in so much less work than the other members of his class. We decided to not initiate him and ask that he go through the new member process again if he wanted to be a member.
At first, he was devastated that he didn't make it through, and he even contemplated not joining because of it. Ultimately he made the decision to pledge again and turned out to be an excellent leader within the new member class. By the time the vote to initiate came around, he got a unanimous vote in and we were all so proud of him.
You could ask him to this day and he will tell you that having to pledge twice was the best thing that ever happened to him.
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