It looks like a Wish List or a Goals List, because of the deadline date. Which, if that's the case, is sad. But what's even sadder is her utter lack of self-esteem. Check out the last two lines.
I don't think that's lack of self esteem or anything sad. It's teenage girl hyperbole. Much like yelling OMG I'M GONNA DIE!! when one's hair sticks out at an awkward angle.
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It is all 33girl's fault. ~DrPhil