HELP! terrible alumni relations!! need ideas!

[ThetaDancer]

dzdz---you've received great advice so far!

I'm also wondering if you have an alumnae chapter near you (even if it's not in the same city, perhaps one within an hour or two drive from your college). It might be a good idea to bring alumnae from the nearest chapter into the loop, too, because even if they're not alumnae of your chapter, they may love to know what's happening with your chapter and may be willing to help in the future. I live halfway across the country from my collegiate chapter, but I love keeping up on the events of the nearest collegiate chapter, too.

[bluefish81]

Originally Posted by ThetaDancer

dzdz---you've received great advice so far!

I'm also wondering if you have an alumnae chapter near you (even if it's not in the same city, perhaps one within an hour or two drive from your college). It might be a good idea to bring alumnae from the nearest chapter into the loop, too, because even if they're not alumnae of your chapter, they may love to know what's happening with your chapter and may be willing to help in the future. I live halfway across the country from my collegiate chapter, but I love keeping up on the events of the nearest collegiate chapter, too.

The local college chapter contacts our alumnae chapter via evite to invite to events on a regular basis. We get invited to their philathropy events, they host halloween parties for alumnae with kids and last night I was invited to a holiday party (that I will not be able to attend). I don't think six weeks to two months goes by that I don't receive some form of communication from them about an event that they want to do with the alumnae in the area.

[OPhiAGinger]

I live three time zones away from my home chapter and for a while they were not including me on their alumnae newsletters, assuming (correctly) that I would not attend the events they routinely invite alumnae to. I was so happy when they started including me, too, and I've shown my appreciation by supporting them financially when they have a specific, well-thought-out project that needs alumnae support.

I'm going to disagree with some of the earlier advice you got about hosting alumnae brunches, etc.... Maybe it's just me, but I am much more responsive to a specific call for help ("We need alumnae to conduct a special ritual for our graduating seniors!") than I am to a more generalized social gathering aimed at alumnae. Think about it. Out of the entire history of the chapter, I really only share memories with a tiny fraction of their alumnae. The chances of someone from my era showing up at one of those events is remote, so I would end up "reminiscing" with people I don't really share memories with.

It would be different, though, if one of my sisters from my era contacted me directly ("OPhiAGinger, I'm going to the Alumnae Tea next month. Will you go, too? Let's get all our old gang together!") because that ensures that I'll know somebody there. Once you start connecting with some of your alumnae, leverage their emotional arsenal to appeal to other alumnae they know from their collegiate days.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

Think about it. Out of the entire history of the chapter, I really only share memories with a tiny fraction of their alumnae. The chances of someone from my era showing up at one of those events is remote, so I would end up "reminiscing" with people I don't really share memories with.

I think that's kind of a narrow view to take. We recently had a reunion at Atlantic City - approximately 25 sisters attended. We had a very large age range, and the youngest girl there had only physically met 2 of the other sisters that were attending. After the first evening, it didn't matter a bit. We may have been there at different times, but we all went through similar experiences at the same campus. It's not just about reminiscing, it's about making new memories and becoming close to new people as well. If all alumnae get togethers serve as is "remember when" fests, it will help the chapter very little. There are alums out there who don't want to meet new people - forget them. They contribute nothing.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I think that's kind of a narrow view to take. We recently had a reunion at Atlantic City - approximately 25 sisters attended. We had a very large age range, and the youngest girl there had only physically met 2 of the other sisters that were attending. After the first evening, it didn't matter a bit. We may have been there at different times, but we all went through similar experiences at the same campus. It's not just about reminiscing, it's about making new memories and becoming close to new people as well. If all alumnae get togethers serve as is "remember when" fests, it will help the chapter very little. There are alums out there who don't want to meet new people - forget them. They contribute nothing.

Very true.

And those "remember when" stories are actually kind of fun to hear if you're from a different generation. Being an advisor, I know the sisters sometimes ask me questions about when I was an active member. They got really excited reading one of the older issues of the Anchor (our magazine), and are actually considering repeating a fundraiser we did 5 years ago.

And in the alumnae chapter that we're trying to start around here, I know that I enjoy listening to stories from the older alumnae. I especially love looking at their compostite pictures from the early 90s... oh, the hair

At our formal this past April, we had some of our charter members attend, and the chapter was founded 20 years ago. Those woman said they had an amazing time and felt welcomed by everyone.

The whole point of attending alumnae events is to not only see the people you went to school with, but to meet NEW people... as in, more sisters. And who wouldn't want that?

[Psi U MC Vito]

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Very true.

And those "remember when" stories are actually kind of fun to hear if you're from a different generation. Being an advisor, I know the sisters sometimes ask me questions about when I was an active member. They got really excited reading one of the older issues of the Anchor (our magazine), and are actually considering repeating a fundraiser we did 5 years ago.

And in the alumnae chapter that we're trying to start around here, I know that I enjoy listening to stories from the older alumnae. I especially love looking at their compostite pictures from the early 90s... oh, the hair

At our formal this past April, we had some of our charter members attend, and the chapter was founded 20 years ago. Those woman said they had an amazing time and felt welcomed by everyone.

The whole point of attending alumnae events is to not only see the people you went to school with, but to meet NEW people... as in, more sisters. And who wouldn't want that?

I agree 100 percent. I actually love meeting with older alumni and hearing all the stories about stuff they did when they were undergrads.

[OPhiAGinger]

I completely agree that 33girl's example, which was apparently an event at least two days long, provides a wonderful opportunity to form new bonds. My GLO's annual convention offers a similar opportunity to really get to know other sisters beyond a superficial level, and I love it! I remember hanging out in the alumnae suite at our last convention, looking around the room and really loving the other women who were there with me. Collectively, our active years spanned four decades and we were from all different chapters. Half of those sisters I had just met earlier that day, but I felt very close to all of them.

But I question whether it's reasonable to expect to form a bond like that when you're gathering for a 90 minute luncheon with 50 people you've never met. Yes, there is something similar in your character that brought you all to the same GLO, but.... I might attend an event like that if it were convenient, but it wouldn't rank high on my list. I've just got too many other competing priorities in my life right now with a demanding career and a busy family... a situation that is probably common to many of the OP's alumnae. I don't claim to represent all alumnae for all GLOs, but I doubt if I'm all that unusual. The OP needs to understand the challenge of getting past those competing priorities and some strategies to do that.

Like I said, I'm more likely to be drawn into an event where we are actively doing something to help the chapter rather than just eating a meal together. In my experience, that's a great vehicle to forming new shared memories.

[33girl]

Well, you've got to start somewhere. It's one thing if alums use reconnecting with others of their era as a start, but if they continue in the mindset of "I only want to see/hang out with/talk with people I was in school with" then quite frankly, their input is not needed...they can set up a reunion for themselves somewhere else. Too many times these are the people who are only returning to open old scars and create drama - their lives are so boring that the drama has actually become a fun and pleasant diversion. It isn't pleasant for the collegians who get caught in the crossfire, though.

Honestly, it is a two way street. Good alumnae try to keep up at least second or third hand. Especially nowadays with facebook, if you fall completely off the map, it's because you don't want to be found, and there's no point in busting your (as in collegiate chapter your) butt trying to get that recalcitrant sister to come back into the fold.

[ThetaDancer]

Originally Posted by OPhiAGinger

But I question whether it's reasonable to expect to form a bond like that when you're gathering for a 90 minute luncheon with 50 people you've never met. Yes, there is something similar in your character that brought you all to the same GLO, but.... I might attend an event like that if it were convenient, but it wouldn't rank high on my list. I've just got too many other competing priorities in my life right now with a demanding career and a busy family... a situation that is probably common to many of the OP's alumnae. I don't claim to represent all alumnae for all GLOs, but I doubt if I'm all that unusual. The OP needs to understand the challenge of getting past those competing priorities and some strategies to do that.

Like I said, I'm more likely to be drawn into an event where we are actively doing something to help the chapter rather than just eating a meal together. In my experience, that's a great vehicle to forming new shared memories.

I'm not sure that the purpose of a collegiate chapter hosting alumnae for brunch is to form a convention-like bond. I think brunches are a great way to meet other sisters (collegiates and alumnae alike) while learning more about the collegiate chapter and finding ways to eventually feel comfortable helping out.

I know you said you're more responsive to a specific call to action, but keep in mind that the OP's chapter has maintained few, if any, relationships with alumnae. Before alumnae are asked to give of their time and money, it may be nice to meet some of the women in the chapter, learn about the events and activities in which the chapter is engaged, and meet other alumnae with whom you may be eventually volunteering. I would find it odd to be asked for time or money completely out of the blue, if this chapter had not previously tried to form or maintain any relationship with me; to me, that just seems contrary to basic manners.

That said, I also disagree with you that it is not possible to form close bonds with alumnae with whom you did not attend school, or who were at your college during a different era, even over 90 minute activities instead of conventions (and the like). Because I went to school far away from where I currently reside, I have really benefitted from being invited to the nearest collegiate chapter's events (homecoming events, teas, brunches, nights out in Madison, etc.). I have learned a great deal about this chapter, met some great women, and am overall significantly more inclined to contribute than I otherwise would have been.