I Need Help!

[ree-Xi]

So...why DO you want to be in a sorority? Other than you want to change the type of bars you go to, the clothes you wear, and the type of guys you would like to date? You don't need to join a sorority to do that.

So...if someone were to ask you why you want to go through recruitment, what would you say?

And as far as the column you wrote...was this a commentary or a news article? What was your argument? Was it full of judgments and stereotypes?

And for the record, I held several officer positions on the school newspaper. Sorority women come from all different backgrounds, and have many different tastes. You are only focusing on what's different, versus finding commonalities.

I'm starting to wonder if this is for real...

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

I'm starting to wonder if this is for real...

Every post reads like a different cliche - from a "Dear Abby" letter, to any after school special or "Mean Girls" type movie where the girl from the "other side of the cafeteria" tires to change who she is to fit in somewhere while facing dissent from her previous group, to any crappy stereotypical sorority movie made.

Every post is practically an episode in and of itself, where the OP creates a dilemma, describes her experience, then how she has resolved the issue. Nope, still not buying it.

[JuliaNJ]

Hey there everyone. I just wanted to give an update to what happened to me this semester.

So, I ended up hanging out with girls who are in Gamma Phi Beta through a few classes. They were all really nice and sweet and cool. I'm going to pledge next semester. I was told by one of the members that it might be hard for me to get accepted, since I'm a junior, and also because I wrote that article a few years ago. I know it might be tough but I really want to pledge.

Most of my "friends" have been awful about this decision. There are a few who understand why I'm doing this, but I've been pretty much ostracized with who I've hung out with most of college so far. They hate who I'm hanging out with now. So, my mentality is to screw them.

I had some big boy drama in my life. I was seeing this guy on-and-off since college started. We seriously dated my freshman year but broke up but you can fill in the rest. He's in an indie band and super liberal and etc. Trying to get past him was one of the reasons why I wanted to do all of this. He was really upset about what I'm doing so we stopped talking completely.

Anyways, I went out with the Gamma Phi Beta girls and hooked up with a fraternity guy. So, I started seeing him and hanging out with him. I made the mistake of having a PDA with this new boy and my old flame saw it. He got really upset and yelled at me in front of him. He tried to start a fight but really meekly backed away pretty quickly. He looked pretty pathetic. So he started all this crap with my friends and it created this whole mess.

But I'm feeling a lot better. I'm not really sure where the whole dating thing is going (I don't want anything serious but, I have to admit, it has been a lot of fun). I've seen who my real friends are and aren't. And I'm excited to make some new ones.

[ree-Xi]

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Hey there everyone. I just wanted to give an update to what happened to me this semester.

So, I ended up hanging out with girls who are in Gamma Phi Beta through a few classes. They were all really nice and sweet and cool. I'm going to pledge next semester. I was told by one of the members that it might be hard for me to get accepted, since I'm a junior, and also because I wrote that article a few years ago. I know it might be tough but I really want to pledge.

Most of my "friends" have been awful about this decision. There are a few who understand why I'm doing this, but I've been pretty much ostracized with who I've hung out with most of college so far. They hate who I'm hanging out with now. So, my mentality is to screw them.

I had some big boy drama in my life. I was seeing this guy on-and-off since college started. We seriously dated my freshman year but broke up but you can fill in the rest. He's in an indie band and super liberal and etc. Trying to get past him was one of the reasons why I wanted to do all of this. He was really upset about what I'm doing so we stopped talking completely.

Anyways, I went out with the Gamma Phi Beta girls and hooked up with a fraternity guy. So, I started seeing him and hanging out with him. I made the mistake of having a PDA with this new boy and my old flame saw it. He got really upset and yelled at me in front of him. He tried to start a fight but really meekly backed away pretty quickly. He looked pretty pathetic. So he started all this crap with my friends and it created this whole mess.

But I'm feeling a lot better. I'm not really sure where the whole dating thing is going (I don't want anything serious but, I have to admit, it has been a lot of fun). I've seen who my real friends are and aren't. And I'm excited to make some new ones.

Do you mean pledging or rushing? RUSH is the old term for RECRUITMENT, which is the process by which one would, if selected, be offered a big to "pledge" (now it's called New Member Period).

Second, if you are going out with the girls from the sorority, don't be "that girl" who hooks up and has PDA sessions with fraternity guys (or even guys in general....you don't want to be known as the chick who gets drunk and hooks up or has drama). So be careful.

Also, if you are going through Formal Rush, you are rushing all the NPC sororities on campus, not just Gamma Phi Beta (unless you mean informal rush or COB). Just remember that, because it's important to keep an open mind. Plus, it's considered dirty rushing to promise a bid to a girl before or during recruitment. And, you never know for sure what will happen until/unless you have that bid card in your hand.

As for your ex-friends, are you making a big deal of how much you are sacrificing or going through with your music friends, to the GPhiB girls? If you are - stop. Make your time with them about them - as PEOPLE, as friends, and not focus on drama from people who are not being supportive. Lastly, make sure that your friendship and conversations with them do not center on possibly becoming a member. Girls can read that a mile away. If for some reason, you don't get a bid, will you continue to be friends with these girls?

Just some stuff to think about.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Most of my "friends" have been awful about this decision. There are a few who understand why I'm doing this, but I've been pretty much ostracized with who I've hung out with most of college so far. They hate who I'm hanging out with now. So, my mentality is to screw them.

I had some big boy drama in my life. I was seeing this guy on-and-off since college started. We seriously dated my freshman year but broke up but you can fill in the rest. He's in an indie band and super liberal and etc. Trying to get past him was one of the reasons why I wanted to do all of this. He was really upset about what I'm doing so we stopped talking completely.

Anyways, I went out with the Gamma Phi Beta girls and hooked up with a fraternity guy. So, I started seeing him and hanging out with him. I made the mistake of having a PDA with this new boy and my old flame saw it. He got really upset and yelled at me in front of him. He tried to start a fight but really meekly backed away pretty quickly. He looked pretty pathetic. So he started all this crap with my friends and it created this whole mess.

My goodness, you are a Vengeful Veronica.

Seriously, get some counseling for your issues instead of trying to drag a whole sorority of girls into your trainwreck life.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by JuliaNJ

Hey there everyone. I just wanted to give an update to what happened to me this semester.

So, I ended up hanging out with girls who are in Gamma Phi Beta through a few classes. They were all really nice and sweet and cool. I'm going to pledge next semester. I was told by one of the members that it might be hard for me to get accepted, since I'm a junior, and also because I wrote that article a few years ago. I know it might be tough but I really want to pledge.

Most of my "friends" have been awful about this decision. There are a few who understand why I'm doing this, but I've been pretty much ostracized with who I've hung out with most of college so far. They hate who I'm hanging out with now. So, my mentality is to screw them.

I had some big boy drama in my life. I was seeing this guy on-and-off since college started. We seriously dated my freshman year but broke up but you can fill in the rest. He's in an indie band and super liberal and etc. Trying to get past him was one of the reasons why I wanted to do all of this. He was really upset about what I'm doing so we stopped talking completely.

Anyways, I went out with the Gamma Phi Beta girls and hooked up with a fraternity guy. So, I started seeing him and hanging out with him. I made the mistake of having a PDA with this new boy and my old flame saw it. He got really upset and yelled at me in front of him. He tried to start a fight but really meekly backed away pretty quickly. He looked pretty pathetic. So he started all this crap with my friends and it created this whole mess.

But I'm feeling a lot better. I'm not really sure where the whole dating thing is going (I don't want anything serious but, I have to admit, it has been a lot of fun). I've seen who my real friends are and aren't. And I'm excited to make some new ones.

What does all of your unrelated boy drama have to do with anything?

Some advice: I wouldn't go blabbing about all of your personal and boy drama to the sorority women you are meeting. You might just get yourself labeled as a "drama queen" and end up without a bid. This is particularly true of the way you speak about your "friends."

If you got a bid, and had personal issues with any of your sisters (which everyone has at some point), would you adopt the same "screw them" mentality concerning them?

I think you need to adjust that "chip on your shoulder" attitude before you can become part of anyone's organization.