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I think the point is moot about whether or not you should join a top tier chapter. Everyone wants to be one of the popular girls, so that's the easy decision. The tough decision is to bite the bullet and join the smaller or less impressive one. There are things that are great about joining a smaller house and as we all know joining a sorority is a great thing in general, so joining a smaller group may not get you that "top girl on campus" reputation, but you'll still get loving support, sisterhood, lifelong friendships, etc.
And I think that's where the rubber meets the road for a PNM. For some girls, like it or not, they are just never going to be comfortable being known as a member of a less than prestigious chapter. And I think that's a shame, but that's me. And I think the lightbulb comes on (am I mixing metaphors again?) when it's basically too late in their college careers to make it right.
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