Disappointing Recruitment

[violetpretty]

I think the other posters have echoed my feelings about your attitude about where you fit, the chapter you dismissed, etc, but I can offer you some insight about the chapters and the process that might help explain a few misunderstandings.

Every chapter wants every PNM to want to join their chapter, regardless of whether the chapter wants a particular PNM. That way, they have their pick of members and they maintain a positive image on campus. Unfortunately, this can backfire and PNMs don't understand why they didn't get a bid when they thought things went so well, and become bitter.

Another thing to remember is that if a conversation went well, particularly in the later rounds of recruitment, the member probably DID like you. You were invited to pref, that means you were on the bid list (which means they would be happy to have you as a sister), just not high enough to match. You also may have heard about "quota" during recruitment---this means that each chapter can take a certain number of women so all chapters can be about the same size, so they can't take every PNM that they love. Also remember that membership selection isn't in the hands of only one member and some chapters are so good at connecting with every PNM that comes through the doors.

Your sophomore status MAY have affected you, but maybe not. A chapter that doesn't want to consider sophomores is more likely to release them earlier. However, there is a law of diminished returns with regards to recruitment. In very rare cases will a PNM have more choices during subsequent recruitments, and this happens when a PNM remedies what she did wrong the first time, whether it is raising her GPA, improving her conversational skills, or checking an attitude problem. It may very well be that your only chance to go Greek was with the chapter you turned down, and you may have already burned that bridge.