Has the tradition of Legacies outgrown its usefulness?

[Zillini]

One the one hand there are alumna who have dedicated years to their sorority in various ways (advising Chapters, House Corp members, I/natl officers, etc.) Without them the organizations would struggle and fail. To do that you know they have made family sacrifices over the years. Sweetie, Dad is taking you to dance class tonight because Mom has to go to Recruitment and won't be home until about 3am. I'm sorry honey, Mom has to miss your soccer game this weekend because of an out of town sorority conference. What a slap in the face to that dedicated alumna Mom when a Chapter releases her daughter!

Yet on the other hand working with the collegians I know how frustrating it can be to get a lot of pressure about legacies who really would not be a good fit. Membership decisions are supposed to be based on what is best for the Chapter, not for a single alumna.

And the simple fact remains that on some campuses there are simply more legacies than Quota allows. Cuts have to be made. It's a no win situation. When you cut legacies you face the wrath of angry alumnae and possibly even your I/natl org. On the flip side imagine the accusations of elitism and discrimination if a sorority were to pledge Quota with only legacies.

[brokengymnast75]

Originally Posted by Zillini

[COLOR=black][FONT=Verdana] To do that you know they have made family sacrifices over the years. Sweetie, Dad is taking you to dance class tonight because Mom has to go to Recruitment and won't be home until about 3am. I'm sorry honey, Mom has to miss your soccer game this weekend because of an out of town sorority conference. What a slap in the face to that dedicated alumna Mom when a Chapter releases her daughter!

I have personally been on the daughter's side. My mom missed my birthday party 4 years in a row, couldn't go to my 5th grade and 8th grade graduation because she was at convention. She would leave for a week, and I had to eat the fast food my dad brought home that made me sick. When we only had one computer, I could rarely play games on it because my mom had to answer emails all the time and write up reports. On road trips, she would be on a conference call the entire time, so I had to sit there quietly with out music or talking. At fancy alumnae parties at our house, I had to take coats and serve food.

I had watched both my cousin and sister become initiated into both my mom's and aunt's sorority.

Long story short, when I rushed last year, I was dropped from my mother's sorority the night before pref. And I did not find a home at any of the sororities at my school.

It hurt. I had just wanted to be apart of a sisterhood like I had seen all the women in my family be apart of.

But it was a tricky situation. If the chapter wasn't for me, then I guess it wasn't for me. Should the chapter be forced to take me because I was a "super legacy"? Absolutely not. I don't know how to word this properly, but I still feel almost like my mom and I deserve something from having my mom's sorority affect my childhood so much through all the service she did. It's just a difficult balance between honoring alumnae's service but still allowing the chapter to choose who they want.

[33girl]

I look at it this way. If I ever have a daughter, I want her to find the kind of sisterhood I found in my chapter of ASA. If that's in ASA - fine. If it's in KKG - fine. If it's in the women's rugby team - fine. If it's in a group of women she meets in her dorm - fine.

I wouldn't want any chapter of my sorority to feel forced to take her just because I was a member - mainly because I know that there are chapters of my sorority that wouldn't have taken me, either.

Maybe this means I'm not devoted enough to my sorority on a national level, but if it does, so be it. Maybe it means I still look at this from a collegian's point of view instead of an alum's, but if it does, so be it.

[BlueCarnation]

Originally Posted by 33girl

I look at it this way. If I ever have a daughter, I want her to find the kind of sisterhood I found in my chapter of ASA. If that's in ASA - fine. If it's in KKG - fine. If it's in the women's rugby team - fine. If it's in a group of women she meets in her dorm - fine.

I wouldn't want any chapter of my sorority to feel forced to take her just because I was a member - mainly because I know that there are chapters of my sorority that wouldn't have taken me, either.

Maybe this means I'm not devoted enough to my sorority on a national level, but if it does, so be it. Maybe it means I still look at this from a collegian's point of view instead of an alum's, but if it does, so be it.

It's so hard because I totally see this too. I advise a great chapter, but I doubt I would've joined this chapter or if they would've wanted me. While our sorority has certain "core values" that we adhere to, let's face it, it comes down to the members at the time at each chapter. These are girls that are 18-22 years old, and we can all remember how we were at that age. It's a hard age for everyone, and I wish I had judged everyone on, say, their grades and ability to pay, but we all know we didn't. If I had a daughter, I would want her to find a great sisterhood somewhere too, but if wasn't a fit with my sorority for whatever reason, then it's unfortunate, but it's not a fit. These things happen. I honestly would be more mad if she didn't get in to my alma mater than if she didn't get into my sorority.

[Nanners52674]

Originally Posted by brokengymnast75

I don't know how to word this properly, but I still feel almost like my mom and I deserve something from having my mom's sorority affect my childhood so much through all the service she did. It's just a difficult balance between honoring alumnae's service but still allowing the chapter to choose who they want.

I just don't agree with that. I understand it impacted your childhood but it was your moms choice. If she did everything she did as an Alumna with the ultimate hope of it getting you into the same sorority that's not doing the work for the right reason. Just because you're a "super legacy" doesn't mean a chapter who thinks you would not be a good fit should have to take you.

It's a catch 22 for sororities don't take every legacy and risk alienating super involved alumni, or take nothing but legacies and be accused of elitism and a form of nepotism.

[honeychile]

Maybe some sororities wouldn't have a problem with eliminating grandmothers etc, but I guarantee you that Alpha Delta Pi would never do that. In the last couple years, there were legacies who were direct descendents of Founders who were initiated with their anscestors' original Adelphean badge.

I don't think this should be a Panhellenic edict, either. I know that Kappas respect legacies, but trust the chapter to make the final decision; others may do so, too. What I'd like to see is having the NPC ask each of the member organizations to reevaluate their legacy system, and if possible, share it.

[APhiAnna]

Originally Posted by honeychile

Maybe some sororities wouldn't have a problem with eliminating grandmothers etc, but I guarantee you that Alpha Delta Pi would never do that. In the last couple years, there were legacies who were direct descendents of Founders who were initiated with their anscestors' original Adelphean badge.

I think a direct descendent of a founder would certainly fall under the "special circumstances" mentioned in my original post. Although I feel 33girl had the better idea...let the chapters dictate who is considered a legacy rather than the nationals. I think if a direct descendent of a founder came through our chapter wouldn't even need pressure from nationals to bid them, regardless of legacy policy.

[TriDeltaSallie]

Originally Posted by honeychile

In the last couple years, there were legacies who were direct descendents of Founders who were initiated with their anscestors' original Adelphean badge.

That is so special! How neat for those legacies as well as the members at the initiation.

This is the first time I've heard a story like this. I wonder how often it happens in the various GLOs?

(Sorry for the thread drift. I'm just a history lover so this really caught my attention!)