Barbie’s Honest to God Authentic Retro Recruitment at a Very Competitive SEC School

[Ken_Carson]

My girlfriend, Barbie... she’s the most beautiful girl I know. We’ve been together for 48 years (not including a little break between 2004 and 2006) and she isn’t anything like you all describe. She would NEVER cheat on me, and the only basketball, football, and baseball player she ever did it with was ME... because I’m her perfect boyfriend Ken, and let’s face it... I can play any sport. I even won Olympic gold medals in 1974 and 1997.

As for Midge... I met Midge through Barbie and she is a really nice girl. She has had some issues in the fashion department, even though Barbie tries to keep her informed about all of the latest trends. Even so, all throughout high school, Midge never seemed to take her advice to heart. She marches to the beat of her own drum which I believed could hurt her in recruitment. My fraternity brothers had also met her, but none of them would give her a second look. I always thought that if she’d just change her look a little, I could hook her up with some of my brothers. I hoped she’d catch on when she saw all of the other well-dressed sorority girls. But then again, with chapters like the Rainbow Brights and Strawberry Shortcakes, she could have been led in a much more disastrous direction. Oh, and I must set the record straight... Midge does NOT have a dented nipple... but don’t ask me how I know that.

And I was NOT born Kendra. I am, and always have been, a guy. I will admit that I’ve had my moments, like my earring magic phase (http://www.manbehindthedoll.com/earringmagic.htm), but that’s all it was... a phase. And I understand that the hard, flat, flesh-toned underwear made people question things a little, but I assure you that I’m 100% male. And the huge zipper that I have on one of my pairs of pants is not to make up for something else that is lacking in size... it is simply the gateway to greatness!