How much is appearance weighed during rush?

[twinkle555]

Originally Posted by diet coke

Hi. I'm currently a sophomore and plan to rush in the fall. I was just wondering how much appearance is weighed when it comes to rushing, in your sorority or in general? That is, weight-wise. I know that appearance isn't everything and personality carries a long way too, but I'm a bit nervous about the pictures I see of sororities on my college campus, through the Greek website at my school. My body type doesn't seem to fit in with the majority of the girls in sororities! I'll admit that out of everything there is to worry about rush that this is what I worry most about (and it's quite silly), but I've learned that first impressions are made on appearance alone in the first 7 seconds of meeting and we girls alone are very judging by nature. I know that there's a lot more to it, like how you carry yourself and confidence, but it's just so nerve-wracking. I especially freak out when I see pictures of girls in bikinis at some event... I've never worn a bikini in my life.

On an off-note, so maybe my question can be answered better, I'm a bigger girl. I weigh 170 at 5'9" and have been losing weight since January (successfully have lost 23 pounds, for health reasons). I'm still working out now and plan to continue to lose some weight throughout the rest of summer (hopefully 10 - 15 more pounds). Any help would be appereciated!

Nobody on here can tell you how sororities choose their members, that is private information, however, a sorority choosing based solely on appearance and weight issues seems highly unlikely. Unless you roll up to recruitment in stained overalls, knotty hair, dirty white flip flops and no makeup on..that is a different story lol. I think sororities are more concerned with how put together a woman is..not her weight b/c trust me I would rather take a girl that weighs 200lbs with an awesome personality that dresses cute and stylish over a skinny stuck up beeyotch..but that's just me

Oh and P.S...I would'nt consider 170 for a girl who's 5'9" bigger...just so you know I would worry so much...be confident!!! Good luck

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by twinkle555

Nobody on here can tell you how sororities choose their members, that is private information, however, a sorority choosing based solely on appearance and weight issues seems highly unlikely. Unless you roll up to recruitment in stained overalls, knotty hair, dirty white flip flops and no makeup on..that is a different story lol. I think sororities are more concerned with how put together a woman is..not her weight b/c trust me I would rather take a girl that weighs 200lbs with an awesome personality that dresses cute and stylish over a skinny stuck up beeyotch..but that's just me

Oh and P.S...I would'nt consider 170 for a girl who's 5'9" bigger...just so you know I would worry so much...be confident!!! Good luck

Good job losing 23 lbs so far! From a medical perspective, 170# for a 5'9" woman is nearly a normal weight. Make sure you have a reasonable goal for your weight loss and keep up the good work! I hope you find a group of sisters who will accept you for you no matter what your weight might be.

[texas*princess]

totally agreed with the above posters.

I think the best thing you can do for any woman going through rush - is to be as polished as you can and be confident

[sigmadiva]

Serious note: All stated above are true and I would follow that advice.

Funny side note: A close guy friend of mine said he likes 'bigger chicks' because the 'bigger the cushion, the better the pushin'. So, just stay healthy and don't worry about your weight.

[BaltoAlphaPsi]

Originally Posted by texas*princess

totally agreed with the above posters.

I think the best thing you can do for any woman going through rush - is to be as polished as you can and be confident

I agree as well. When you're going though recruitment, if you're not a size 2 don't dress like a size 2, if your not a size 16, don't dress like a size 16. Often times it's not the SIZE of the clothes, it's whether or not the size you're actually wearing FITS you! For example, if you are a bit bustier than the average college girl, then please do not wear a tight top that shows off cleavage, we are girls, it's not what we're looking at. If your jeans give you an extra curve, that's not flattering either.

Personally, I want to see a girl who looks comfortable in her her own skin. If you do, and i hope you do, then you will be much more inviting and more girls will think "i want to talk to her."

Recruitment is all about being yourself, and because the first thing we know about you is how you look, (because we haven't talked to you yet) we want you express yourself though what you wear, don't wear something that isn't you.

[pnmxyz]

Originally Posted by BaltoAlphaPsi

I agree as well. When you're going though recruitment, if you're not a size 2 don't dress like a size 2, if your not a size 16, don't dress like a size 16. Often times it's not the SIZE of the clothes, it's whether or not the size you're actually wearing FITS you! For example, if you are a bit bustier than the average college girl, then please do not wear a tight top that shows off cleavage, we are girls, it's not what we're looking at. If your jeans give you an extra curve, that's not flattering either.

Personally, I want to see a girl who looks comfortable in her her own skin. If you do, and i hope you do, then you will be much more inviting and more girls will think "i want to talk to her."

Recruitment is all about being yourself, and because the first thing we know about you is how you look, (because we haven't talked to you yet) we want you express yourself though what you wear, don't wear something that isn't you.

For larger busted girls, it is often quite challenging to find a dress that doesn't reveal a tiny amount of cleavage (the very top, where it starts).
My question: How much is appropriate? Is a little okay in this situation if it is not played up, in an otherwise classy, well-fitting dress, or should any cleavage be avoided at all costs? What about if it came down to two dresses, one with slight cleavage that overall looks better or a slightly less flattering dress with full coverage? I am not talking about triangle-top style dresses or anything extremely low-cut, obviously. I will try to find an example.
I am asking for somewhat competitive recruitments at northern schools. Thanks in advance.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by pnmxyz

For larger busted girls, it is often quite challenging to find a dress that doesn't reveal a tiny amount of cleavage (the very top, where it starts). My question: How much is appropriate? Is a little okay in this situation if it is not played up, in an otherwise classy, well-fitting dress, or should any cleavage be avoided at all costs? What about if it came down to two dresses, one with slight cleavage that overall looks better or a slightly less flattering dress with full coverage? I am not talking about triangle-top style dresses or anything extremely low-cut, obviously. I will try to find an example. I am asking for somewhat competitive recruitments at larger, northern schools.

I would tend to think that you don't need to be FULLY covered up to your neck.

I always tell PNMs to ask themselves:

*Would you be comfortable wearing it to a nice dinner with your family (including 80 year old grandma)?

If you have to think about it, it's probably not appropriate.

Also, remember your audience here. These are WOMEN, not guys.

We all have seen a woman with inappropriate cleavage and thought "OMG, who let her out of the house wearing that?"

If you even think it is a dress that would make someone say "OMG" about your cleavage, it needs to be left on the hanger.

It's important to KNOW what necklines work with yourt body types and which do not. You have time, so I suggest trying out some different things and figuring out what looks best on you.

[minDyG]

Originally Posted by pnmxyz

For larger busted girls, it is often quite challenging to find a dress that doesn't reveal a tiny amount of cleavage (the very top, where it starts).
My question: How much is appropriate? Is a little okay in this situation if it is not played up, in an otherwise classy, well-fitting dress, or should any cleavage be avoided at all costs? What about if it came down to two dresses, one with slight cleavage that overall looks better or a slightly less flattering dress with full coverage? I am not talking about triangle-top style dresses or anything extremely low-cut, obviously. I will try to find an example.
I am asking for somewhat competitive recruitments at northern schools. Thanks in advance.

I would say this is fine...



And THIS is inappropriate...



THIS IS JUST MY OPINION! But, if I saw a girl who looked like the first picture (Charlotte Church--my she's grown!) at recruitment, I wouldn't think twice about her dress. The second is definitely bordering on the danger zone of nipple poppage.

[UGAalum94]

I don't know that I would chance it on either for recruitment, not that there's anything wrong with MinDyG's first dress, especially for an evening evening.

But if you aren't 100% confident about the cleavage issue, you might end up tugging at the dress, etc.

Could you post pictures of the dresses or something similar if you don't want post your dress? Is it something you could wear a matching cotton camisole under, and it would still look cute? That seems to be what most of my students do, or they even wear t-shirt under some, and it's surprisingly cute. Obviously, I'm not talking about formal or strapless dresses.