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I'm pretty indifferent to same sex marriage. I voted against the Georgia Amendment that banned it, but I think there are reasons other than simply a bias against homosexuality that cause people to oppose it. It's a huge social and traditional shift, and some people may simply be uncomfortable with it purely on that level.
While it may seem convenient to frame the issue as purely about bias and hate in hopes that people will support gay marriage because they don't want to be bigots, I think the reaction to prop. 8 in California probably caused more people who were on the fence to turn against SSM than to come around in favor of it.
I think that SSM advocates may be doing more long term damage by pressing the issue now while the reaction to the wedge issue is less likely to be in their favor. In Iowa for instance, I don't think that the people who oppose it will say to themselves, "hey this will take two years to address, let's just forget it." Instead, I think they'll come back in two years with something much more scorched earth on the issue that, if it passes, will set SSM advocates further back than they were today.
I think Americans are becoming gradually more accepting of homosexuality and SSM in particular so waiting ten to 20 years, rather than forcing polarization now, just seems to make sense. Of course, I'm not the one waiting to marry my long term partner.
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