Just to clarify, I am NOT worried that the active or my ex will get my information through informal recruitment. The information that we are required to give is only very basic contact information, name, phone number, school email, etc. that my ex already has and could easily give to the active.
I AM worried about what he will DO directly to me (he would have a much clearer idea of where I am and what I am doing - I stopped telling our mutual friends anything about my personal life because they were passing info on so no one even knows where my new jobs are) because he was physically abusive while we were together and he is known for a temper among his friends (putting holes in walls over small things, etc. and some unverified things that I would believe now). I am also worried that if either one of them found out I was going through recruitment they would spread lies through the sororities about me like they have done in the past with our friends, thereby killing my chances of getting a bid. I am afraid if it came down to a she said-he/she said, they would win simply because they are more into the sorority circles by her membership. I do not trust him or what he will do but he has controlled me enough; I want to go through recruitment but I want to do so in a safe manner.
My question was should I tell the informal recruitment head something briefly about the situation or keep quiet and not make problems but find another way to make sure I am safe, not how do I keep my info from the active, I know she would not have access to it from the sorority based on what I have learned here on the boards about what info is given out.
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