mistreated by my sorority? - Page 3

lilzetakitten · #31 02-08-2009, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by edhardy88

It's hard though because I see sisters and they don't introduce themselves to me or say hi, so it put me in that awkward position of being creepy and knowing them or being the bitch who forgot someones name after 10 introductions.

Just addressing the sister side of this: don't worry about it. I knew especially during the early stages of the new member period there was a good chance the new members wouldn't remember my name. After all, I had to remember about 15 of them, but they had to remember about 50 of us. Don't be afraid of telling them that you need to be re-introduced, they understand. They've been there too.

Jimmy Choo · #32 02-08-2009, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilzetakitten

Just addressing the sister side of this: don't worry about it. I knew especially during the early stages of the new member period there was a good chance the new members wouldn't remember my name. After all, I had to remember about 15 of them, but they had to remember about 50 of us. Don't be afraid of telling them that you need to be re-introduced, they understand. They've been there too.

And on that note.....if the OP is in a pretty big chapter she may have 30-40 pledge sisters at least! Add onto that maybe a 100+ actives! (just a guess) That's a ton of people to learn!! The sisters will understand if you forget someone.

KSUViolet06 · #33 02-08-2009, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilzetakitten

Just addressing the sister side of this: don't worry about it. I knew especially during the early stages of the new member period there was a good chance the new members wouldn't remember my name. After all, I had to remember about 15 of them, but they had to remember about 50 of us. Don't be afraid of telling them that you need to be re-introduced, they understand. They've been there too.

True. New Members are usually meeting SO MANY people within a few weeks, so not remembering a sister's name is not creepy or bitchy at all. Heck, there were new girls in my chapter who called me Jackie or Jessica for like 3 weeks.

KSUViolet06 · #34 02-08-2009, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by edhardy88

I feel like for the position I'm in, I've put myself out there and dealt with a lot of rejection from within the chapter. I'm not a pessimistic person - but I feel as though the more pessimistic and bland girls in my pledge class (overall, based on how they act in other aspects of life) are the ones having the best experience.

Quote:

Originally Posted by edhardy88

It's hard though because I see sisters and they don't introduce themselves to me or say hi, so it put me in that awkward position of being creepy and knowing them or being the bitch who forgot someones name after 10 introductions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by edhardy88

Exactly! Out of all our chapters - note that my school is very gossipy so everyone knows every one else's business, including the entirety of other sorority pledge classes! - my pc is by far my favorite, and i know rushing again and being with all freshmen would not be as fun!

Consider the fact that people are human and the fact that they don't introduce themselves is nit always a slight against you.

You say that you like your pledge class alot. I suggest hanging out with them and inviting yourself to go with them when they go hang out with older sisters. Girls may not be warming up to you because you are sitting back and feeling offended by girls not saying "hi" to you and such.

Also, you just have to let people warm up to you. So you joined a committee and the girls weren't all "OMG I love you." It's okay. It just takes time.

Also consider the fact that you needn't attempt to be friends with EVERY SINGLE older sister. It's okay to just seek out a few older girls and get to know them for now.

edhardy88 · #35 02-09-2009, 01:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Consider the fact that people are human and the fact that they don't introduce themselves is nit always a slight against you.

You say that you like your pledge class alot. I suggest hanging out with them and inviting yourself to go with them when they go hang out with older sisters. Girls may not be warming up to you because you are sitting back and feeling offended by girls not saying "hi" to you and such.

Also, you just have to let people warm up to you. So you joined a committee and the girls weren't all "OMG I love you." It's okay. It just takes time.

Also consider the fact that you needn't attempt to be friends with EVERY SINGLE older sister. It's okay to just seek out a few older girls and get to know them for now.

I'm not offended by them not saying hi to me every day, because I'm just as much at fault for not remembering their names either, etc. I was only saying it's a little awkward to do the reintroduction thing like 10 times and I don't want to be known as the "awkward flaky girl" or something who can't remember anyone. And I'm only saying that about the committee because I am proving I'm trying to get involved! It's just that I feel like I'm putting more effort out there than I'm receiving back. No fun! lol

KSUViolet06 · #36 02-09-2009, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by edhardy88

I'm not offended by them not saying hi to me every day, because I'm just as much at fault for not remembering their names either, etc. I was only saying it's a little awkward to do the reintroduction thing like 10 times and I don't want to be known as the "awkward flaky girl" or something who can't remember anyone. And I'm only saying that about the committee because I am proving I'm trying to get involved! It's just that I feel like I'm putting more effort out there than I'm receiving back. No fun! lol

I know I KEEP saying this but it REALLY is true.

It takes time.

It's just like any other relationship you've had in your life. The growth of it takes time. More than a couple of weeks as a new member.

Don't be anxious about it.

Just keep doing what you're doing.

preciousjeni · #37 02-09-2009, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Just keep doing what you're doing.

Except for divulging your issues with your sorority internally to people in other sororities on campus and calling your pledge sisters "bland" of course.

KSUViolet06 · #38 02-09-2009, 01:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Except for divulging your issues with your sorority internally to people in other sororities on campus and calling your pledge sisters "bland" of course.

Except for that of course.

That's not nice (and isn't going to make anyone want to be a friend).

33girl · #39 02-09-2009, 02:10 PM

There might be stuff going on within the sorority (money problems et al) that you don't know about. Or it might be that you just ended up getting paired with 2 girls who were having very bad weeks who had nothing to do with you. Or maybe the girls you were paired with voted against you or don't like you for whatever reason and your NME made a misguided attempt to remedy that. We have no way of knowing.

I agree with whoever said stop being a victim. Everyone is not going to like you. Step forward and find the ones who do. And take more time to get to know someone before you call them "mean" or "bland."

This isn't The Real World (the TV show that is). People aren't hugging and kissing and BFFs within 5 minutes. Real friendships take time.

agzg · #40 02-09-2009, 03:28 PM

If you are really having trouble with names perhaps you could ask your NME for a composite so at least you can put some names with faces. I would guess that the most recent initiates wouldn't be on the composite (we always get ours done in the spring) but at least it could help you with sophomores/juniors/seniors.

I always found it helpful to put a face with a name.

Also, you could friend them on facebook. As much as that site sometimes sucks when people put TMI on it, you'd have a face with a name and maybe some of them have interests similar to yours.