Help for a new Phi Mu

scrapcat · #1 02-05-2009, 12:39 AM

Any suggestions for a newly initiated member to feel like "one-of-the-girls"? After a busy and fun "Phi" period my daughter is feeling overwhelmed by her situation. Previously she had a "Phi" group to hang with now that has split into sub-groups. She's feeling lost. Any suggestions on how she can get to know some of the girls better? I suggested joining a committee or two, talking to interesting members at each meeting. Lots of mom advice - but I thought I'd see what suggestions you might have. My kid is stubborn, I told her to check out this site but... you know the rest. Thanks.

beccaminister · #2 02-05-2009, 01:21 AM

The best advice I can give is to ask her what she liked best about Phi Mu before pledging and then encouraging her to join a committee that focuses on that aspect. Also, she can still speak to her Phi Director/Membership Director for advice. Also, she can't expect the "older sisters" to make all the effort, she has to do her part as well.

BabyPiNK_FL · #3 02-05-2009, 02:15 AM

What saved me was becoming BFF with some girls who shared common interests in my pledge class. Even though I had tons of friends in Phi Mu before joining, many of them were planning on early alum so they could do other things. A lot of my pledge class "clique" were not around due to various reasons as well. So I began eating lunch with one of my pledge sisters that I hadn't really talked to much before and now she's my bff.

Also, one of my other pledge sisters who spent a lot of time "on the fringes" of Phi Mu life and me have become really close as well. She decided to become more active and so she picked up the phone and called me for information or just to talk since she knew she could trust me and since I'm known for being super friendly.

If she's close with her big then that's a good place to start.

Additionally, because I live further away than the majority of the girls so I still spend a lot of time reaching out by making facebook events of fun activities to do (make them in advance so people can save the date). I've always had a good turn out and a lot of fun. We've done movies, dinners, family nights, whatever.

Kansas City · #4 02-05-2009, 10:41 AM

You gave fine advice ... she's just got to stay active and get involved with the chapter (not just her Phi class). Just because her Phi class fractured into subgroups following initiation, there is no reason not to hang out with pledge class friends in the different sub-groups. It sounds to me like she may need to get out of her comfort zone (hanging with the Phi class) and begin to meet and feel comfortable around more of the chapter members. She may want to think back to why she joined in the first place ... was it the other PNMs in the room that convinced her to join or the initiated members who were recruiting her? Personally, I agree with your suggestion of getting involved on a committee or chair up an event to gain some leadership experience and become more involved with the general membership.

scrapcat · #5 02-05-2009, 10:04 PM

Thanks for the advice. I'll pass along your suggestions.

I actually got some good news from her today -- she's signed up to be on the Phi Mu powder puff team!

That's one step in the right direction. I agree that her fate lies in her hands. Part of the reason she joined her chapter was her comfort level with the girls. So I told her if she's comfortable around the girls she should be able to just approach a sister with questions, or whatever.