Ending a friendship?

[lsucajun8]

We actually talked some today. I think it's just one of those situations where the new exciting beginning of our friendship is wearing off and we are just getting into where we are kind of learning the boundaries of our friendship if that makes sense. I'm sure we will be fine!!

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Originally Posted by lsucajun8

We actually talked some today.

Good for you!! Hope it's smooth sailing from here on out.

[lsucajun8]

Thanks me too!!

[madmax]

Originally Posted by ThetaDancer

I've been friends with my 2 "best friends" for years but lately (as in the past 6 months) I'm really no longer interested in being close friends with either of them. I don't exactly dislike either of them, but the friendships seem draining and sometimes like more of a chore than anything fun. I guess I just don't have that much in common with either of them anymore, and no longer have the same priorities.

I'd like to still be friends on some level, and we do have mutual friends, so I was hoping to avoid a major falling out. I've tried distancing myself and becoming less available, but they only call/text/etc. more often, which makes me more annoyed, which leads to me being even more distant, and repeat!

Has anyone been in this situation? Advice on the best way to handle this?

Reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld breaking up with Keith Hernandez.

[ThetaDancer]

Thank you all so much for your advice. It really helped a lot. I've never really dealt with a situation like this before...

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

I have a friend with whom I decided to cut ties about a year ago. I basically stopped calling her. It worked.

This is pretty much what I decided to do. I stopped telling white lies ("Sorry I can't, I'm busy," etc.) because that seemed to encourage more calls and just sort of drag things along. I basically stopped answering and returning their calls which makes me feel a little bit bad but mostly relieved and it's worked so far.

Originally Posted by KSigkid

It's hard, though, when there's no one confrontation, but just a slow realization that you're not really friends anymore.

Yeah that's the realization I had to come to, which was tough because it's not really like they did anything awful...I just don't want to be their friend.

Originally Posted by AGDee

I agree with KSigKid for the most part but I also want to add... just because you are not friends now doesn't mean you won't connect in 20 years and be excited to be in touch again. There were a few girls in my neighborhood growing up who I lost touch with after I graduated from high school. They found me through classmates.com and I had lunch with them this summer and it was really fun to get to know them all over again and reminisce. They didn't fit into my life at one time, but now I have fond memories of our childhood and I'm glad to be in touch with them again. Since we just drifted, it's ok. Had I confronted stuff back then, I'm sure they wouldn't have made the effort to find me.

And this story was a major reason I decided not to really confront them but to just sort of drift apart. Thank you...it really helped.