How do you feel about.............

[Finer Woman10-A-91]

Originally posted by undacuva22
Surprisingly there is a correlation or relationship between divorce and co habitation. Of course correlations are not actual predictors telling a person an exact cause, but however they tend to show how strong a relationship is to one another. The divorce rate is already high so I personally think that for someone who is modernized, co habitation is a good thing especially for some one who is very picky or is having doubts about the person they are marrying or marriage just in the general since. I believe their is a very impressionable difference between being with someone four to five times a week and actually living with someone. You could find out how annoying their snorring is, their grooming habits etc. Okay I know that you can see that while you are there the four to five times a week that you are but the difference is this. You mate may be putting up a front when you stay over just to make you think that they are really clean, responsible with the bills, etc. But after a while the barriers break down and their true self comes out and you might then say to yourself that this is not the person u thought that they were...... Same goes for your self, you may turn out to be very controlling or you may snore and he might have thought that it was okay listening to you four days straight in a row but say yall were living together on that fifth day he might decide that he cant take it anymore. But as someone previously stated, dont do things that myself or others are telling you to do follow your heart and put your self in a situtation that is most comfortable to you, because i cant live your life only you can. I am just telling you what would work best for me and what has worked best from other people that I have talked to!!! Hope this is helpful to everyone.......

You make a few key points. However, I am inclined to disagree. All of the issues you raised can and SHOULD be discussed prior to marriage. In a relationship/marriage, both parties will either learn to compromise on certain isssues or simply decide that certain issues are not of such importance that they will stop the 2 in question from being married. There will be issues that may not be open for compromise. For example, if it is your dream to have 3 children and live in mansion in Encino, and your mate hates children and dreams of living in a condo on the upper west side New York City, well you just might have a problem.

I am certainly no relationship expert, but I genuinely believe many of the problems folks have in relationships stem from a lack of honesty about yourself, your mate or the very nature of said relationship. People will reveal themselves if you are patient and observant. How and if we accept those truths is truly another story.