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[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by LΩVE

She did not say she was racist. She did say that her relationship with her family is more important to her than who she marries.

Really?

She said,

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

I hope this isn't opening up a whole new can of worms, but I was raised with my family's beliefs, so this wouldn't be an option for me.

In response to,

Originally Posted by epchick

What happens if the only reason your parents disapproved was because of his color? Would you not marry him?

[WVU alpha phi]

Well I guess it did open up a can of worms unfortunately. I have to agree with Love though- my family's opinion is important to me, and if it affects certain decisions I make in my lifetime, I'm OK with that. I've never by any means let my parents control my life, if anything, when I was in high school I was rebellious. Their opinions and my upbringing have definitely influenced me and my behavior today, as would be the case for most families I might think. After all, to an extent, we are all a product of our parents.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

Well I guess it did open up a can of worms unfortunately. I have to agree with Love though- my family's opinion is important to me, and if it affects certain decisions I make in my lifetime, I'm OK with that. I've never by any means let my parents control my life, if anything, when I was in high school I was rebellious. Their opinions and my upbringing have definitely influenced me and my behavior today, as would be the case for most families I might think. After all, to an extent, we are all a product of our parents.

What changed for you after high school that made you less rebellious?

[LΩVE]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Really?

She said,



In response to,

I guess my response didn't go through, but the jist is that that does NOT make her a racist. It's wrong to treat someone badly (or better) because of their ethnicity, but criteria for choosing someone you spend the rest of your life with is very personal, as is the relationship with the family. Obviously the attitude problem is going to be skated over, but, again, everyone gets to choose how close they are to their family and it's not your place to be rude about it.

[LΩVE]

Originally Posted by WVU alpha phi

Well I guess it did open up a can of worms unfortunately. I have to agree with Love though- my family's opinion is important to me, and if it affects certain decisions I make in my lifetime, I'm OK with that. I've never by any means let my parents control my life, if anything, when I was in high school I was rebellious. Their opinions and my upbringing have definitely influenced me and my behavior today, as would be the case for most families I might think. After all, to an extent, we are all a product of our parents.

I opened it, really, because I find the attitude to be offensive, for the most part. I'm the same way. For those of us very close to our families it's impossible to think that we can do whatever we like even if it will upset them and feel no ill effect. To me that seems really selfish.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by LΩVE

I guess my response didn't go through, but the jist is that that does NOT make her a racist.

Show me where I called anyone "a racist."

Originally Posted by LΩVE

For those of us very close to our families it's impossible to think that we can do whatever we like even if it will upset them and feel no ill effect. To me that seems really selfish.

I know what you mean. I'm very close to my family too.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by LΩVE

For those of us very close to our families it's impossible to think that we can do whatever we like even if it will upset them and feel no ill effect. To me that seems really selfish.

Wow for someone jumping all over Jeni for being "offensive" you are being pretty rude yourself.

You can call me selfish all you want, but my family will NOT dictate to me what "color" person I should marry. I shouldn't have to settle for anything less than my dream man just because i'm trying to appease their ignorance.

[LΩVE]

Originally Posted by epchick

Wow for someone jumping all over Jeni for being "offensive" you are being pretty rude yourself.

You can call me selfish all you want, but my family will NOT dictate to me what "color" person I should marry. I shouldn't have to settle for anything less than my dream man just because i'm trying to appease their ignorance.

. I didn't call you selfish. I haven't called you anything. That's fine for you. But it is not always ignorance, and, again, everyone's relationship with their family is different. And again, personally, my family is more important than who I date. I don't believe in soulmates, so I date people that I know will stir up no ill feelings. Ethnicity is no issue in my family, but religion is. I'm aware of that when I look at a man as a possible spouse. I can find someone in that category. That's me, personally and I do believe it's selfish for me to blatantly disregard that. I've made it clear that's me, this is you, whatever.

"Buying into racism is far from subscribing to a religion."

"Show me where I called anyone 'a racist'".

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by LΩVE

"Buying into racism is far from subscribing to a religion."

"Show me where I called anyone 'a racist'".

So you weren't able to find what you were looking for?

[LΩVE]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

So you weren't able to find what you were looking for?

Play semantics if you want.

Maybe explain exactly what you did mean by that statement then?

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by LΩVE

Play semantics if you want.

Maybe explain exactly what you did mean by that statement then?

If she discounts the possibility of an interracial union because her family doesn't believe in interracial unions, she's accepting a concept that is inherently racist. I don't know if she is, in fact, a racist or not as I don't know her. My only knowledge of her comes from her posts. The fact that she acknowledged that she may have been opening a "can of worms" when she indicated that her family held a racist view only supports the fact that she knows what she said could be construed as a racist comment.

If she prefers not to engage in an interracial relationship because she finds individuals who look more like her to be more attractive, that's a preference and we all have them.

There's a difference.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by LΩVE

Play semantics if you want.

Wow, that is really is reaching.

Not dating someone because of their race =/= not dating someone because of their religion. It isn't the same.

People can change their religion, they can't change their ethnicity/race.

[LΩVE]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

If she discounts the possibility of an interracial union because her family doesn't believe in interracial unions, she's accepting a concept that is inherently racist. I don't know if she is, in fact, a racist or not as I don't know her. My only knowledge of her comes from her posts. The fact that she acknowledged that she may have been opening a "can of worms" when she indicated that her family held a racist view only supports the fact that she knows what she said could be construed as a racist comment.

If she prefers not to engage in an interracial relationship because she finds individuals who look more like her to be more attractive, that's a preference and we all have them.

There's a difference.

Close enough to toe the line.

Your original statement did not, however, indicate any of this.

[LΩVE]

Originally Posted by epchick

Wow, that is really is reaching.

Not dating someone because of their race =/= not dating someone because of their religion. It isn't the same.

People can change their religion, they can't change their ethnicity/race.

That was not at all to what I was referring.

[preciousjeni]

Originally Posted by LΩVE

Close enough to toe the line.

Again, you don't understand what we're talking about on a number of threads here.

Your original statement did not, however, indicate any of this.

My original statement was

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

Probably no can of worms. It's just really, really sad that you bought into that.

You don't see any connection there?