Advice to pnms beginning their College/University experience…

[lauralaylin]

I disagree with the boyfriend thing. Just because some people don't stay together doesn't mean you shouldn't date. That is just silly. Dating is good experience for later relationships that could be more serious, and it is definitely possible that a freshman WILL have a good and serious relationship freshman year.

[KSUViolet06]

It's okay to have a boyfriend freshman year, but DO NOT spend all of your free time talking to him on the phone, texting him, IMing him, driving down to see him (if he is at another school), etc.

While you're sitting in your dorm room waiting on his phone call, all of the other freshmen are out having fun, meeting new people, joining student organizations, and having a life.

So make sure that you're not so wrapped up in your boyfriend that you forget to have fun. You don't want to look back on freshman year and regret it because all you did was spend time with your boyfriend.

[GammaPhi88]

Originally Posted by lauralaylin

I disagree with the boyfriend thing. Just because some people don't stay together doesn't mean you shouldn't date. That is just silly. Dating is good experience for later relationships that could be more serious, and it is definitely possible that a freshman WILL have a good and serious relationship freshman year.

I should have reworded that to say: Don't let you freshman boyfriend (or any boyfriend!) take over your life. College is a very self-oriented time, and you'll need space to let yourself experience and grow. If a relationship is part of that, thats fine, but never let your boyfriend (or girlfriend!) limit your college experience.

And I never said don't date at all! Casual dating is great...I never experienced it before college, and I think (as long as you don't do stupid things while you casually date that give you an unsavory reputation) it is something that everyone should try.

And while I'm on here, I've got two more pieces of advice.

1) When you go to frat parties or house parties, avoid the jungle juice (grain alcohol punch...whatever your student popuation calls it). It tastes like yummy punch, but it will hit you hard, and it will suck. If you want to avoid waking up with your head in the toilet, try to limit yourself on this to one drink at most. And while I'm on the subject, just because mommy and daddy are not there to yell at you for drinking does not mean you can go wild. Be smart about it, not only could you end up spending a night puking your guts up, but if caught you could end up in trouble with the university. Not a great start to your freshman year, right?

2) While I'm not telling you outright not to do it, if you do get a boyfriend as a freshman (or any other time you live in a dorm), be wary of dating someone on your floor. It could work out great, as my sorority sister is still dating her floormate from freshman year...but if something happens or it doesn't end well things could get really really awkward. It happened on my floor freshman year with two next door neighbors. When, after two weeks, it came crashing down (and I do mean crashing)....it just wasn't pretty. We call it floorcest or dormcest, and while I'm not saying DON'T DO IT, I'm going to warn you to proceed with caution.

[LionTamer]

My dad gave me great advice before I left for college. He said "I know you're going to drink, so when you do, stick to beer. Stay away from mixed drinks, because you don't know how strong those guys are going to make them."

I followed his advice, and can't tell you how many nights I ended up carrying home or cleaning up after an inebriated friend who had the "Jungle Juice" or Strawberry Daquiri.

You have a better sense of when you're approaching your limit with beer, and have a better chance to stop before becoming drunk and behaving badly. (I'm assuming everyone will be walking and not driving).

[GammaPhi88]

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

I should have reworded that to say: Don't let you freshman boyfriend (or any boyfriend!) take over your life. College is a very self-oriented time, and you'll need space to let yourself experience and grow. If a relationship is part of that, thats fine, but never let your boyfriend (or girlfriend!) limit your college experience.

Obviously, scenezip, you didn't read the post where I explained what I meant. And I never said to dump your boyfriend; I warned freshman PNMs not let a serious relationship to stop them from getting involved in college.

[sceniczip]

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

Obviously, scenezip, you didn't read the post where I explained what I meant. And I never said to dump your boyfriend; I warned freshman PNMs not let a serious relationship to stop them from getting involved in college.

I guess I misunderstood, where you were talking about casual dating I thought you meant that a freshman should not be involved in a serious relationship, my mistake and I apologize.

However, I did not say that you said you should dump your boyfriend, I said that I had people tell me that, as I mentioned it was a couple of family members that said that to me and I thankfully ignored their well-meaning advice. I also had other people say similar things to me so I was just including that as well. Sorry if it seemed like that was directed at something you said.

[GammaPhi88]

Originally Posted by sceniczip

I guess I misunderstood, where you were talking about casual dating I thought you meant that a freshman should not be involved in a serious relationship, my mistake and I apologize.

However, I did not say that you said you should dump your boyfriend, I said that I had people tell me that, as I mentioned it was a couple of family members that said that to me and I thankfully ignored their well-meaning advice. I also had other people say similar things to me so I was just including that as well. Sorry if it seemed like that was directed at something you said.

I'm sorry I misunderstood; its much clearer now, so thank you for explaining. By no means should someone dump a perfectly happy relationship just because they are going off to college...I only would wish that they find a life in college outside of their relationship. (Some people, like me, are incapable of that and need a life first before they fit a relationship into it. Others, like you, are far more well adjusted .

I agree with what you said about getting to know your professor, and I'd like to add to make sure your professor knows you in a good way. You want to be that student that the professor knows because she comes in and asks intelligent questions or tries hard for help when struggling. You don't want to be the student the professor knows because she always comes to the office with an excuse as to why she can't meet a deadline or complaint about a grade.

[sceniczip]

Originally Posted by GammaPhi88

I'm sorry I misunderstood; its much clearer now, so thank you for explaining. By no means should someone dump a perfectly happy relationship just because they are going off to college...I only would wish that they find a life in college outside of their relationship. (Some people, like me, are incapable of that and need a life first before they fit a relationship into it. Others, like you, are far more well adjusted .

I agree with what you said about getting to know your professor, and I'd like to add to make sure your professor knows you in a good way. You want to be that student that the professor knows because she comes in and asks intelligent questions or tries hard for help when struggling. You don't want to be the student the professor knows because she always comes to the office with an excuse as to why she can't meet a deadline or complaint about a grade.

Lol sorry bout that, I'll make sure to clarify better next time I completely agree that it is very important to find a life outside of a relationship or else most people end up shoving their s/o other away by being too controlling and smothering, college is definitely a time to grow in your individual identity.

Good advice on the professor, going along with that make sure to volunteer in class to answer questions when the professor asks or participate in class discussions (if there are any). I'm kind of spoiled because I'm an English Ed major so most of my classes are small and we can have class discussions, where in big classes it's definitely harder. Some professors use class participation to determine grades and I know professors who have boosted grades before if the grade was borderline if the student participated a lot. It kind of goes along with attendance.

[33girl]

OK, I heard a rumor (tm Bananarama) that grain isn't available in a lot of states anymore, and if you DO buy it, you have to SIGN for it. Is this true?