Question for parents, parents to be, and parent want to be's.....

[kstar]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

For those of you who have a child, are getting ready to have a child, or want a child in the future, what would be the last (most dreaded) thing you would hate to find out about your daughter/son?

I don't have any children, but if I did, I would be devastated if I found out my daughter/son was on drugs.

Honestly, I gave this a lot of thought. IF (big if) I ever had children, I don't think that dying/terminal illness would be the worst thing. I mean, yes, tragic and would probably require a lot of grief counseling.

However, the most devastating thing that a child could do would be more like if they were going against every value I would have taught them, like being a Republican, a Scientologist, or committing a crime. Something about those things just makes me... I dunno, it was like when I found out that one of my childhood friends was a Republican, I was so disappointed and heartbroken that she and I would never be friends again.

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by kstar

Honestly, I gave this a lot of thought. IF (big if) I ever had children, I don't think that dying/terminal illness would be the worst thing. I mean, yes, tragic and would probably require a lot of grief counseling.

However, the most devastating thing that a child could do would be more like if they were going against every value I would have taught them, like being a Republican, a Scientologist, or committing a crime. Something about those things just makes me... I dunno, it was like when I found out that one of my childhood friends was a Republican, I was so disappointed and heartbroken that she and I would never be friends again.

Wow. Just wow. You won't be friends with someone because of their political affiliation?

That's just pretty damn stupid and self-righteous...

I can usually see someone's point-of-view even if I don't agree with it. But, you have totally amazed me with your post. It's very small minded. Wow. So, where do independent voters fit in your hierarchy of friendship acceptability? Do you only speak to them when they agree with you?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

Wow. Just wow. You won't be friends with someone because of their political affiliation?

That's just pretty damn stupid and self-righteous...

I can usually see someone's point-of-view even if I don't agree with it. But, you have totally amazed me with your post. It's very small minded. Wow. So, where do independent voters fit in your hierarchy of friendship acceptability? Do you only speak to them when they agree with you?

Agreed. There are alot of way worse things a kid could be (you know, a drug addict, serial murderer, etc).

[kstar]

Originally Posted by Tippiechick

Wow. Just wow. You won't be friends with someone because of their political affiliation?

That's just pretty damn stupid and self-righteous...

I can usually see someone's point-of-view even if I don't agree with it. But, you have totally amazed me with your post. It's very small minded. Wow. So, where do independent voters fit in your hierarchy of friendship acceptability? Do you only speak to them when they agree with you?

I have casual acquaintances, like school/work friends, that don't agree with me, but no, I don't really want to have close friends that don't share my values. Is that really that hard to understand?

[DSTRen13]

It disturbs my mom a LOT that we have such different worldviews (ie, our political and religious views), but I don't think she would classify it as the worst possible thing she could imagine. At least I hope not ... I love my mom

[Tippiechick]

Originally Posted by kstar

I have casual acquaintances, like school/work friends, that don't agree with me, but no, I don't really want to have close friends that don't share my values. Is that really that hard to understand?

Yes. I find it really creepy and sad that you choose to live in such an isolated, insular world.

I don't even know what to say about this whole thing except that you seem to judge everyone based on whether they agree with you or not.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by kstar

However, the most devastating thing that a child could do would be more like if they were going against every value I would have taught them, like being a Republican, a Scientologist, or committing a crime. Something about those things just makes me... I dunno, it was like when I found out that one of my childhood friends was a Republican, I was so disappointed and heartbroken that she and I would never be friends again.

Wow kstar. I'm not saying that you're wrong or anything for thinking that way, because this thread is just based on everyones own opinions...but wow. I wasn't expecting a post like this one.

[gee_ess]

Originally Posted by kstar

Honestly, I gave this a lot of thought. IF (big if) I ever had children, I don't think that dying/terminal illness would be the worst thing. I mean, yes, tragic and would probably require a lot of grief counseling.

However, the most devastating thing that a child could do would be more like if they were going against every value I would have taught them, like being a Republican, a Scientologist, or committing a crime. Something about those things just makes me... I dunno, it was like when I found out that one of my childhood friends was a Republican, I was so disappointed and heartbroken that she and I would never be friends again.

How old are you kstar? Knowing this might help me understand your position.

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

How old are you kstar? Knowing this might help me understand your position.

I've said it somewhere else but, regardless of values, beliefs, political views, we should embrace the challenge of other people's ideas and debates. It should make one's views stronger or even change if need be. If people dont embrace the challenge of ideas or debate or whatever then perhaps the views of that person arent as strong as they may think.

My husband and I are raising our children with Christian principles and "republican" views. If the children decide neither are for them we will love them no less and treat them no different.

i agree with tippie on this issue.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by kstar

Honestly, I gave this a lot of thought. IF (big if) I ever had children, I don't think that dying/terminal illness would be the worst thing. I mean, yes, tragic and would probably require a lot of grief counseling.

However, the most devastating thing that a child could do would be more like if they were going against every value I would have taught them, like being a Republican, a Scientologist, or committing a crime. Something about those things just makes me... I dunno, it was like when I found out that one of my childhood friends was a Republican, I was so disappointed and heartbroken that she and I would never be friends again.

You can't be friends with a Republican?!

It would be worse to see your child become a Republican than to see your child suffer from a terrible illness or die?! Because, heaven forbid, you should raise a child to think for him- or herself.

I'm speechless, yet somehow not surprised. Count me in with Tippie and ThetaPrincess.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by kstar

Honestly, I gave this a lot of thought. IF (big if) I ever had children, I don't think that dying/terminal illness would be the worst thing. I mean, yes, tragic and would probably require a lot of grief counseling.

However, the most devastating thing that a child could do would be more like if they were going against every value I would have taught them, like being a Republican, a Scientologist, or committing a crime. Something about those things just makes me... I dunno, it was like when I found out that one of my childhood friends was a Republican, I was so disappointed and heartbroken that she and I would never be friends again.

Wow...just wow. Glad to hear you practice intolerance for other viewpoints.

[KSUViolet06]

As far as secrets go:

*That he/she was being abused by a partner or something and not telling me.

*That he/she had been abused by someone as a kid but never told me.

*That he/she had gotten involved with drugs, prostitution or something.

*That he or she was gay/lesbian and didn't tell me because she thought I'd be upset. Not that being gay in itself would devastate me, but I just want my kids to be able to come to me and not have to hide stuff like that out of fear. .

[ThetaPrincess24]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

.

*That he or she was gay/lesbian and didn't tell me because she thought I'd be upset. Not that being gay in itself would devastate me, but I just want my kids to be able to come to me and not have to hide stuff like that out of fear. .

I agree with this one. I wouldnt agree with that lifestyle but I would hope that they wouldnt think they would be unloved or disowned by that. There are much mroe serious issues/situations to worry about than that. For example, I'd rather them tell me they were gay instead of telling me they were dying.

[christiangirl]

Originally Posted by ThetaPrincess24

I agree with this one. I wouldnt agree with that lifestyle but I would hope that they wouldnt think they would be unloved or disowned by that. There are much mroe serious issues/situations to worry about than that. For example, I'd rather them tell me they were gay instead of telling me they were dying.

Ditto!

[kstar]

Originally Posted by KSigkid

Wow...just wow. Glad to hear you practice intolerance for other viewpoints.

You're saying that it wouldn't be utterly devastating for your child to turn their back on every value that you hold dear?

Originally Posted by MysticCat

You can't be friends with a Republican?!

It would be worse to see your child become a Republican than to see your child suffer from a terrible illness or die?! Because, heaven forbid, you should raise a child to think for him- or herself.

See above. "I have casual acquaintances, like school/work friends, that don't agree with me, but no, I don't really want to have close friends that don't share my values. Is that really that hard to understand?"

I wouldn't expect any one to agree with me on every point, but I think that part of raising a kid would be instilling the values that you hold most dear, such as equal rights for all (how many repubs voted against prop 8?), there is only one G*d (and you have to admit that Scientology started as a bet, and is more of a cult/money scheme than a religion)... It was asked what would be most devastating to you. And grief counseling can do a world of good, but this is something that I don't think I could get over and respect them as a person again.