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Post-Bid Day
It ended up that although Bid Day went as well as expected, I couldn't shake some of the embarrasment I still felt about being a Miami. I can remember an acquaintance of mine (who ended up dropping out of recruitment because every house released her unfortunately) saw me in a Miami shirt a few days after Bid Day, and asked me if I was okay. It was such an insult, but what could I say. I smiled and said, do I look sick or something? She dropped it. I can also remember seeing guys at fraternity houses, and them saying, wow, I never would have guessed that. Each comment was a blow to my already shriveled ego!
On the positive side, and this is what kept me in Miami through pledgeship, is that I met new people who told me my house was on the up and up. I got closer to Lauren, who ended up being my big sis. I met friends in my pledge class... people I didn't even know on Bid Day that I now absolutely adored.
It wasn't the "best" chapter on my campus, but I ended up having one of the best Greek experiences and so did a lot of my Miami sisters. We didn't necessarily turn our chapter around into a top house, but we learned to embrace our chapter, our sisters and our bond. Being a Miami didn't make or break any of us in a social perspective, instead we did that for ourselves. In fact, I ended up marrying someone from a "higher tier" fraternity, something I just didn't think happened as a silly PNM. I became an officer in my chapter, lived in the chapter house, had my sisters in my wedding, went to our Convention, and am now an advisor to another chapter of Miami in a different state.
As for Atlanta...
Although I still have many close Atlanta friends, I think my experience shows that you can never know where you stand in a chapter unless you are a fly on the wall in MS and in bid matching. My alumna friends were probably helpful, but they couldn't seal the deal. I said and did everything I was supposed to, but in the end the system still exists, and although it didn't give me my first choice, or even my honest second, third, or fourth choices, it gave me a home and I am grateful for that.
I am also grateful for the genorosity and graciousness of Miami. I cannot imagine my life without its principles, values and friendship. I have gained much through my experience and can honestly say that Miami continually helps me to become the best version of myself. It accepts me for who I am, and challenges me to keep growing. And, it's also given me some of the best memories, most fun times and best sisters a girl could ever imagine.
I share my story because a sorority is so much bigger than a name and bigger than college itself. I know I preach to the choir, but I can only hope that my story encourages one discouraged little PNM (who was just like me) to stick through it and to put on a happy face, even when you just want to pull the covers over your head and pretend it's all a dream. The sisterhood of Miami was well worth the disappointments and tears it took for me to get there!
FYI -- Sorry to be no fun here, but I never promised to reveal any of the code and I probably won't now either... my campus has changed immensely in the 10 years since I went through. I would hate for anyone to take my perspective and view (particularly since much of it was negative and prematurely formed). I would never want to hurt another sorority's reputation, or the reputation of my own sorority.
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Hybrid Mode
