essay...

Munchkin03 · #1 10-02-2008, 09:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alphagamzetagam

Wow - just. Wow.

What, you find it hard to believe that some people actually apply to college in October?

justme920 · #2 10-02-2008, 09:57 PM

i am aiming for early admissions lol. i have everything done but my essays.

as to answering the question, that is why im feeling nervous about my essay. it was to write about a person that has impacted my life and why they are important to me, and my paper is about how all people impact me in many different ways. one paragraph is about some stranger i served at work and how his relationship with his daughters inspired me to be closer to my family and another is about how while one specific band member has not made a huge impact in my life, the unit of support created by the band family as a whole has changed the person i am drastically.

im nervous, because im playing the line of whether or not im answering the question, and either it will be appreciated as unique and interesting or frowned upon as not answering the question... thats the biggest reason im looking for outside help lol. im nervous about taking a risk...

SWTXBelle · #3 10-02-2008, 10:26 PM

Pick ONE person - that is what the question asked for, and the admissions officer doesn't have all day to devote to a magnum opus.

Avoid using trite clichés in your discussion of how this person has impacted your life. Develop it, and if at all possible try to come at it from a different angle than the usual - use examples. If this person changed your life, detail the precise way, and illustrate how it came about and how it continues to shape the person you are today. Bear in mind that you want to come across as YOU, and you want the college admissions officer to say to him/herself - "YES. This is just the kind of person we want in our college. "

EDIT EDIT EDIT. No misspelled words, no awkward sentences, run-ons, errors in grammar or syntax. Ask your English teacher to help you.

VandalSquirrel · #4 10-02-2008, 10:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by justme920

i am aiming for early admissions lol. i have everything done but my essays.

as to answering the question, that is why im feeling nervous about my essay. it was to write about a person that has impacted my life and why they are important to me, and my paper is about how all people impact me in many different ways. one paragraph is about some stranger i served at work and how his relationship with his daughters inspired me to be closer to my family and another is about how while one specific band member has not made a huge impact in my life, the unit of support created by the band family as a whole has changed the person i am drastically.

im nervous, because im playing the line of whether or not im answering the question, and either it will be appreciated as unique and interesting or frowned upon as not answering the question... thats the biggest reason im looking for outside help lol. im nervous about taking a risk...

Here's a tip, a person can't impact your life because impact is an action verb, so unless your bodies collided, that is poor usage. Also the person WHO changed, influenced or affected your life, not THAT. That is for objects, who is for people.

Enjoy the free tips.

agzg · #5 10-02-2008, 10:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

What, you find it hard to believe that some people actually apply to college in October?

Actually, I find it hard to believe that you would jump all over MY NOT KNOWING FOR SURE when it was due (considering that there was a question mark after the word MARCH) and then saying, IF it was true that they were due in March, that the OP would have plenty of time to rework the essays.

A simple "It's probably due in November" would have sufficed, considering that my syntax and use of punctuation indicated that I was not sure that they were due in March.

I also find it hard to believe that you would jump all over my post, without giving any clear advice to the OP. It's one thing to dismiss a troll, or someone who obviously has no clue that the sky is blue or water is wet. It's completely different to hijack a thread asking for help in order to express your desire to be more correct than someone else.

To the OP, pick one person. It clarifies your points and and indicates that you were able to make a clear decision about who has impacted your life. They know that you have not only been inspired by one person, but they only asked for one.