I guess I just need to vent

[ellebud]

First of all, if I was the one who started the Totally honest type thread (I wrote my retro story about a year ago that featured a rush that took place in the 1970s) that seems to have taken a turn: I apologize. In my case (the story was told fairly quickly) I had messages to today's pnm that included: don't be put off by a sorority's reputation, religious tolerance/diversity, and that things work out. The narcissitic turn...is unbearable. I view these threads (the honest, real time or soon thereafter) not as a "brag book" but as an educational chance to give girls some information on rush, how to rush, and how to get started in college life. But, I will say that I have seen the trend that if a pnm says something "wrong" or lacks discretions...some of the ladies really jump all over them. Silence is sometimes a preferable thing. If a girl says that...ABC has ugly girls, an ugly house and/or just plain lame....let the child be. She's got more issues than can be addressed in any forum.

My daughter, who will rush next fall, read a few threads. (Since she is 18 she doesn't feel the need to discuss everything with me...and that is fine.) Daughter did say that she knows she needs recs, knows a bit about the school that she is rushing in, and that she thinks that she'll do fine whatever happens).

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by ellebud

But, I will say that I have seen the trend that if a pnm says something "wrong" or lacks discretions...some of the ladies really jump all over them. Silence is sometimes a preferable thing. If a girl says that...ABC has ugly girls, an ugly house and/or just plain lame....let the child be. She's got more issues than can be addressed in any forum.

Ditto!

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by ellebud

But, I will say that I have seen the trend that if a pnm says something "wrong" or lacks discretions...some of the ladies really jump all over them. Silence is sometimes a preferable thing. If a girl says that...ABC has ugly girls, an ugly house and/or just plain lame....let the child be. She's got more issues than can be addressed in any forum.

I tend to somewhat agree with this. I think that there are enough advice threads warning PNMs to use discretion, and telling them that the things they say in their threads can have a negative affect on their recruitment.

If they ignore that advice and choose to insult chapters in their threads (yes, there's a line between honest feedback and insults), put out all sorts of identifying information and just be totally indiscrete, we should just let them, and see what happens.

Sometimes I think we're being a little too nice by jumping in and telling PNMs their mistakes.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I tend to somewhat agree with this. I think that there are enough advice threads warning PNMs to use discretion, and telling them that the things they say in their threads can have a negative affect on their recruitment.

If they ignore that advice and choose to insult chapters in their threads (yes, there's a line between honest feedback and insults), put out all sorts of identifying information and just be totally indiscrete, we should just let them, and see what happens.

Sometimes I think we're being a little too nice by jumping in and telling PNMs their mistakes.

On one hand I agree - on the other hand, I think that sometimes the PNMs are using this as a "vent" area and just getting it all out and not thinking how widely read it'll be till after they hit "submit reply." It's a part of this puter age. It's the difference between having a diary and a blog. People jumping on them is the equivalent of a mom yelling at a 5 year old "SALLY DON'T RUN ACROSS THE STREET YOU IDIOT!!" and almost ripping her arm out of the socket to stop her, just to try and keep her safe.

Most people don't read all the threads when they start posting here. Unfortunately. But those who do and still say things like "XYZ seem really slutty" - yeah, let them hang themselves. The problem is you don't know who did and who didn't.

[epchick]

Originally Posted by 33girl

On one hand I agree - on the other hand, I think that sometimes the PNMs are using this as a "vent" area and just getting it all out and not thinking how widely read it'll be till after they hit "submit reply." It's a part of this puter age. It's the difference between having a diary and a blog.

Exactly and plus the PNMs don't know who will be reading it. They think that as long as they don't say "My name is Susy A. Smith, a sophomore at Troll University" that they'll stay anonymous, so they can say whatever they want.