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09-15-2008, 04:50 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ASTalumna06
And you've spent 5 pages in this thread complaining about him. And now you're questioning whether you made the right decision? Read through all of your posts, and then ask yourself if that's who you truly want to be with.
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My decision has not changed......I will be pledging if the sorority gives me the opportunity......But he is loyal, and has never done me wrong... I hear a lot of people saying "If you back down on what you truly want to do just for him, lated he'll be demanding other things....." So what if he decides to get over it and stay?
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09-15-2008, 05:02 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Queens, NY
Posts: 6,304
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RareTreasure
My decision has not changed......I will be pledging if the sorority gives me the opportunity......But he is loyal, and has never done me wrong... I hear a lot of people saying "If you back down on what you truly want to do just for him, lated he'll be demanding other things....." So what if he decides to get over it and stay?
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I hate to be the one to say it... but if for some reason, he does get over it and stays, it will most likely be because he realizes that you are actually going to do this no matter what he does, and he knows he can't control that. He doesn't want to lose someone who allows him to be so controlling... So he'll try to control you in other ways. Because as you've said, this is how he is, and how he's always been.
He'll still be with you, and "support" your decision... but I guarantee he'll continue to make you feel bad about it, make you feel bad about not spending time with him (because you'll have to do things for the sorority), and he won't be thrilled about going to sorority events like formal. He'll probably make those experiences miserable for you. Because those things he CAN control.
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I believe in the values of friendship and fidelity to purpose
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09-15-2008, 05:03 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Conshohocken, PA
Posts: 1,150
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Then the onus is on him to show that he's changed his ways. If someone really loves you and there is something that is important to you (whether it be sorority, church, family, friends, education, work, volunteer work, etc.), they will respect it even if they don't understand it. If someone truly loves you, they will not belittle something that is important to you and they will not make you choose between him and the something that's important to you. I don't know if you're religious, but if you are, imagine if he were asking you to choose between him and church. Would you put up with his shit then? You deserve someone who is going to treat you right...someone who (like what ASTalumna06 mentioned) is going to build you up not tear you down. If he changes and becomes a positive person in your life, then that's wonderful. But if he continues to be a negative person in your life, you don't need that. You deserve better, and you need to believe in yourself enough to know for yourself that you deserve better.
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SOP
PSimissU
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09-15-2008, 05:13 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Land of Chaos
Posts: 9,312
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RareTreasure
My decision has not changed......I will be pledging if the sorority gives me the opportunity......But he is loyal, and has never done me wrong... I hear a lot of people saying "If you back down on what you truly want to do just for him, lated he'll be demanding other things....." So what if he decides to get over it and stay?
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He is NOT loyal to YOUR BEST INTERESTS. He is doing you wrong everytime he controls you - doesn't support you - is more interested in his selfish needs than in building a true balanced relationship with you. He can't stay unless you let him. Run, don't walk, and whether you join the sorority or not, work on YOU instead of worrying about this loser.
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Gamma Phi Beta
Courtesy is owed, respect is earned, love is given.
Proud daughter AND mother of a Gamma Phi. 3 generations of love, labor, learning and loyalty.
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09-16-2008, 10:40 AM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In the hot seat ;-)
Posts: 69
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RareTreasure
My decision has not changed......I will be pledging if the sorority gives me the opportunity......But he is loyal, and has never done me wrong... I hear a lot of people saying "If you back down on what you truly want to do just for him, lated he'll be demanding other things....." So what if he decides to get over it and stay?
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He WON'T. First of all, any man who feels the need to berate you in order to get his way is (excuse my French) a B*tch ass. He called you weak because that's what he WANTS you to be, and if you sacrifice what you want for him, you will end up regretting it for the rest of your life!
Little32, AMEN to everything you just said!!
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"Always represent who you are FIRST, then who you need to be thereafter" B. Whitmore
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