Is GDI better than not getting your top choice?

[PJS]

Wow. Lots of discussion which has been very enlightening. I want to chime in on the subtheme of competitive selection, but don't have time before work.

Originally Posted by Kitemom

My daughter friend got cut from her top choices last year primarly due to grades. She let people talk her into dropping out of the three that did send her a pref invite. My daughter told her to stay. Needless to say she would be happier now being anyone one of the three instead of nothing. She knows this and is going through rush again and will be Happy in Any group now. She just wants to be apart of the dance.

Originally Posted by gee_ess

But in response to the OP, I must tell you that in competitive systems, many feel that GDI is better than not getting a top house. Sad, but true - and primarily for the reasons EE-BO stated regarding tradition. In systems where the mom has known for years that the daughter will go through recruitment, built the resume, developed the contacts for recs, etc, those women are well aware of the reputations of those houses. So, in their minds, and ultimately in their daughters' minds, it is one of the top houses or nothing at all. No one entrenched in those systems really believes that they will end up with a lower tier house if they prepare well enough, and see anything less as a failure. It is a real shame.

These two posts (and the one by KSUViolet) hit close to what my original question was asking. Kind of in followup, if a girl "fails" at rush and drops out, what is her college experience like? If she has grown up being groomed to be greek, doesn't she feel absolutely lost in the college setting? For that matter, she has also forfeited alumni status/networks/activities for the rest of her life! (Again, this is a discussion about girls that have chosen to drop out with options left.) After reading this thread about the University of Texas:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...t=32105&page=4

it sounds like all UT houses are selective and few if any would have a "stigma" attached to them, although they all don't have cachet that some desire.

Certainly many--no most--collegians are not greek and have a great college experience with friend and parties and social networks etc. etc. I just wonder how successfully a girl, steeped in the expectation of being greek, transitions into a GDI college experience.

[violetpretty]

It's all in the attitude of the PNM. If she has completely written off chapters she feels are beneath her, she wouldn't be doing them any favors by joining, and therefore, GDI is better for her than chapters she has written off.

If a PNM is open to what a sorority really is about and is honest with herself, she might find her home in an unexpected place. It's happened before and will happen again.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by PJS

These two posts (and the one by KSUViolet) hit close to what my original question was asking. Kind of in followup, if a girl "fails" at rush and drops out, what is her college experience like? If she has grown up being groomed to be greek, doesn't she feel absolutely lost in the college setting? For that matter, she has also forfeited alumni status/networks/activities for the rest of her life! (Again, this is a discussion about girls that have chosen to drop out with options left.) After reading this thread about the University of Texas:

http://www.greekchat.com/gcforums/sh...t=32105&page=4

it sounds like all UT houses are selective and few if any would have a "stigma" attached to them, although they all don't have cachet that some desire.

Certainly many--no most--collegians are not greek and have a great college experience with friend and parties and social networks etc. etc. I just wonder how successfully a girl, steeped in the expectation of being greek, transitions into a GDI college experience.

She most likely transfers to another school where Greek life isn't such a priority and does one of 2 things:

1) Pledges the sorority that was prestigious at her old school and spends the rest of her life trying to "pass." "I was a KKG at UT!" (She doesn't mention that it was UT - Tinier Campus.)

2) Gets involved in other things on campus and realizes Greek life really ISN'T the be all and end all.

I think it also has a lot to do with how her parents handle it - whether they support her or if they helimom her and make her feel like it's all her fault.