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Originally Posted by Pawn
My daughter recently finished recruitment and ended up with a bid to a chapter she did not feel comfortable with. Don't get me wrong, its a great chapter and many girls she knows were thrilled with their bids. She just does not feel that it is the place for her. She's kind of shy and not a big partier, like many of the girls in the chapter. Anyway, I encouraged her to accept the bid, which she did. Now she's worried she did the wrong thing. . . She's very disappointed--help!
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A similar thing happened to my daughter last year. She is conservative and a serious student, and was cut by the two houses where she felt she fit so very well. Her self esteem was pretty banged up and she was very disappointed. She pledged a house that has its share of partiers and she didn't know if she would fit in.
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Originally Posted by FSUZeta
if her chapter has a house, she will get a better feel for the chapter by spending as much time as she can there and interacting with the members living in. if they serve meals, she should try to be there during lunch and dinner. try to make some friends with girls in her pledge class. it is not uncommon for some new members to suffer from varying degrees of "buyers remorse".
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This is great advice. My dot found a couple of girls in her pledge class last fall that were more like her, and that made all the difference. It takes a while to meet and get to know different people and find out where you fit. Within a couple of months, she was happy to be in the house, and now
absolutely loves it. Their campus just finished recruitment, and she commented how that pulls the house together. It made her appreciate the strengths that different girls bring to the house. Although she may not agree with some other's personal choices (drinking etc), she saw how much everyone loved the house and that they each bring different strengths (creativity, high GPA, spirit, organizational skills) to the group. "Living in" is also proving to be a good lesson in group dynamics!
Finally, she is excited with the new pledge class that she had a chance to be a part of selecting and will have a chance to help "mentor." aephi alum had a good point when she said that by the time your daughter is a senior, the current sisters will have graduated and the goup may be quite different.
Your daughter will really lose nothing by trying this out for a couple of weeks. And the more effort she gives the trial period (facebooking other new members is a good option even if she is shy), the better outcome she is likely to have. I'm not saying her feelings are going to change overnight, but it is worth a try. Although many on GC have shared stories of bad recruitment experiences followed by successful COB or rerushing, I think most girls overestimate those options when they drop out of formal recruitment. Your first shot at freshman recruitment generally gives the best outcome. I think you gave her good advice.
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