08-09 recruitment

luvgoldens24 · #1 09-03-2008, 06:49 PM

This is one of those posts where the mom is sad that her daughter didn't get into the house she had always aspired to belong to. We had an exhausting weekend! Although we had done lots of research over the past year, I didn't realize that I could have solicited recommendation letters from alumni we are acquainted with. My daughter had hoped that the fact that she was a Brownlee would have helped, and we thought it was really cool that they had our family crest as their own. In fact we took it as sign that that's where she belonged.
She was picked to continue with them until when she arrived Sunday. She called me devastated that she wasn't invited back, but went ahead with an open mind to visit the two houses that had invited her back. She politely declined an offer from one house, but went back last night and received a bid from the other. She really has been trying to have an open mind, but she says she has little in common with this group of young ladies, and her heart is just not into it. She hasn't met anyone there she can relate to, and is wondering why they even would pick her.
My question is this: Should she keep trying to find some common ground with this group, or should she wait until next year and re-bid? And if you were rejected once, are the odds against you for a successful bid the second time? She is feeling so discouraged with the whole process.
My daughter is extremely social, was a cheerleader for four years in high school, also played in the marching band for two years, & had a 3.8 gpa in high school. She's very cute and gets along well with almost anyone.
Anyone have any ideas what she can do to help her chances next time? Or would she always feel that since they didn't choose her the first time, she didn't really belong? She has dealt with rejection before, so this is not the big issue. It's more a matter of she really liked these girls and felt like she fit in, what went wrong? Thanks for any advice, mom

breathesgelatin · #2 09-03-2008, 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvgoldens24

This is one of those posts where the mom is sad that her daughter didn't get into the house she had always aspired to belong to. We had an exhausting weekend! Although we had done lots of research over the past year, I didn't realize that I could have solicited recommendation letters from alumni we are acquainted with. My daughter had hoped that the fact that she was a Brownlee would have helped, and we thought it was really cool that they had our family crest as their own. In fact we took it as sign that that's where she belonged.
She was picked to continue with them until when she arrived Sunday. She called me devastated that she wasn't invited back, but went ahead with an open mind to visit the two houses that had invited her back. She politely declined an offer from one house, but went back last night and received a bid from the other. She really has been trying to have an open mind, but she says she has little in common with this group of young ladies, and her heart is just not into it. She hasn't met anyone there she can relate to, and is wondering why they even would pick her.
My question is this: Should she keep trying to find some common ground with this group, or should she wait until next year and re-bid? And if you were rejected once, are the odds against you for a successful bid the second time? She is feeling so discouraged with the whole process.
My daughter is extremely social, was a cheerleader for four years in high school, also played in the marching band for two years, & had a 3.8 gpa in high school. She's very cute and gets along well with almost anyone.
Anyone have any ideas what she can do to help her chances next time? Or would she always feel that since they didn't choose her the first time, she didn't really belong? She has dealt with rejection before, so this is not the big issue. It's more a matter of she really liked these girls and felt like she fit in, what went wrong? Thanks for any advice, mom

Hi there. Sorry you daughter did not get the bid to her ideal sorority.

I would strongly recommend that she stick with the house she pledged. Many girls feel so-so about the houses they pledge for a few days or even weeks. But often by initiation they are feeling great about the chapter and couldn't see themselves anywhere else!

I don't know the specifics of ASU, but oftentimes it is difficult to get a bid as a sophomore. It's also nice to have impressive statistics like your daughter does, but that doesn't mean much in formal recruitment. Many of the girls will have the same or similar lines on their resumes.

The one thing that might have been a problem is the recommendations. At some schools those are very, very important to have. However I do NOT recommend thinking that going through next year with recommendations will solve the situation to your satisfaction. There are many other reasons why a PNM can be released. None of us can really answer why your daughter was released. To respond to your question of "It's more a matter of she really liked these girls and felt like she fit in, what went wrong?," the most likely reason is that Pi Phi did not feel a similar fit.

I'm sorry for your daughter's hurt and I truly hope that she grows to love the chapter she has pledged. I think that is way more likely to happen than you realize.

33girl · #3 09-04-2008, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvgoldens24

She hasn't met anyone there she can relate to, and is wondering why they even would pick her.

The fact of the matter is....they DID pick her. They saw something in her that they liked and thought would be good for their sorority...and they thought their sorority would be good for her.

She won't have better chances next time around unless she has some kind of superstar stellar campus involvement or becomes Miss America or something.

luvgoldens24 · #4 09-04-2008, 02:23 PM

If she becomes Miss America she won't have time for a sorority! Her best friend is Miss Teen Arizona, does that help? I talked to her last night and she saw the new pledges, she didn't think they weren't picked for their beauty. And being a Brownlee didn't get her a spot either. She just thought the girls were really fun and nice, plus as she put it, "They all had hair like mine!" As only an 18 year old would see it!

33girl · #5 09-04-2008, 02:28 PM

I was just using Miss America as an example of a very large accolade that would draw attention to her - not as a comment on looks (hers or anyone's).

I don't know what a "Brownlee" is, unless it's your last name and you like own lots of things and stuff.

luvgoldens24 · #6 09-04-2008, 02:46 PM

I don't know what a "Brownlee" is, unless it's your last name and you like own lots of things and stuff.[/quote]

Emma Brownlee Kilgore
1848-1925
A true leader and Pi Beta Phi's first president. The coat of arms of Pi Beta Phi is derived from those of the Brownlee family.

Also her little sister Clara was one of the first members. I do have too much stuff, at least that's what my grouchy old husband says.

33girl · #7 09-04-2008, 02:58 PM

O I C. I didn't realize this was the Pi Phi forum, LOL.

angelove · #8 09-04-2008, 03:01 PM

Is your daughter actually descended from Emma Brownlee Kilgore or Clara Brownlee Hutchinson? It sounds like your daughter had her hopes set on Pi Phi from childhood because of some family connection to two of the founders. If that's the case, I would think family members would have known to do a legacy introduction (and would certainly have known about recommendations). Not that it is by any means a sure shot at getting a bid.

luvgoldens24 · #9 09-04-2008, 03:47 PM

Obviously it's my husband's family and I should have gotten letters. But I didn't know I was suppose to. I feel responsible,. I did a lot of research although on the wrong things. I do know some alumni also who adore my daughter who I could have gotten letters from. But I just didn't know. I'm sure it will be okay. We're just obviously disappointed. I've been collecting wine colored ribbon and angels for years! She still has a sorority that wants her. So hopefully she will start feeling more like she could fit in here.