Advice Please!

[EE-BO]

As the elder daughter, I see your gut reaction to this. I am the oldest son, and regardless of the circumstances and need- I would have been upset in this situation too.

Based on your post, the immediate advantage I see for your parents is that by giving your sister the car is that she will be covered on getting home when school gets out early. That relieves a burden on them that does not really exist with you since you are already out of the house and at college.

My parents were pretty strict about cars. I got my first hand-me-down vehicle on getting my license, but with the provision that I had to take my little brother and sister to school. This made sense since all 3 of us went to the same school, but at times I had to prioritize my schedule since our after school activities ended at various times. I was not happy then, but looking back I did get a free car, insurance and a gas credit card I never had to pay for. Hard to complain.

All 3 of us were denied cars our freshman and sophomore years of college. I got around that by luck since I just borrowed trucks from other guys in the fraternity when I needed to run an errand on my own. But still, it kind of sucked those times when I could not borrow a vehicle with so much to do while my brother and sister had cars back home that they did not use as often as I would have used a car of my own.

In reconciling yourself with this situation, my advice is as follows,

1. Could your parents afford for you both to have cars they were paying for? And by afford I don't just mean they have the money, but that their own lives and future savings would not be affected by the expenditure.

2. Do you really think there is favoritism at play, or can you come up with practical reasons why they made the decision they did? Any by practical- I mean practical for them.

3. How badly do you NEED a car, versus just wanting it for the freedom and convenience? What can you do to make your life work easier- i.e. planning your errands to coincide with friends and ride with them etc. Based on your answer to that, how much do you want to press your parents to make a ruling in your favor at the risk of starting a small war- your sister for a start will surely not be happy if you get your way.

I ask this fully knowing and understanding your frustration because I have been there too and at the time I hated it. With age and experience, I realize how lucky I was that not having my own car for 2 years of college was the worst "challenge" I faced.

And that is why I pose these question. Whatever your relationship with your family- both now and both what you hope for in the future- please weigh that carefully in deciding how to proceed.