Question on Rushing in my 30s (Fraternity)

[CrackerBarrel]

Except I don't see what the shared thing here is other than the word fraternity.

I really like living with 50 of my closest friends, parties and girls.

And then someone else saying I'm not quite cool enough to party and hang around girls, but I can help give people in college directions to class because they spent their orientation partying and hanging out with girls and lost their campus map?

(again, a joke, but also a serious question. what does a service fraternity have in common with my house, because I'm not coming up with a lot?)

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by CrackerBarrel

Except I don't see what the shared thing here is other than the word fraternity.

I really like living with 50 of my closest friends, parties and girls.

And then someone else saying I'm not quite cool enough to party and hang around girls, but I can help give people in college directions to class because they spent their orientation partying and hanging out with girls and lost their campus map?

(again, a joke, but also a serious question. what does a service fraternity have in common with my house, because I'm not coming up with a lot?)

Well, theoretically, they both offer a sense of belonging and teamwork as well as an opportunity to develop leadership and do good for the community.

But in actuality, depending on the particular group, a social fraternity may just be a somewhat elitist club that exists for the purpose of providing a place to drink and pick up girls while you form connections that you hope will carry through the rest of your personal and professional life.

And service and professional organization have service and profession goals.

Here's the thing, you'd really have to go back to your founding at often single-sex institutions to figure out what your group is supposed to be about and then you'd have to contrast that with what your chapter actually does AND THEN, you'd have to figure out what the social and profession organizations at your campus actually do to have your answer.

It seems like a lot of unnecessary effort. Instead just ask yourself what Wooderson would do.

[nate2512]

Originally Posted by UGAalum94

See the analogy is more like:

Hey, I'd like to be a baseball player. I really love the sport of baseball. I think it would be really cool to play on the college team, but I don't know that I can devote myself to it completely and I don't know if the skills that I'm used to using line up with what the kids are doing these days.

And someone saying, well why don't you work with our community program for youth baseball. You can either volunteer and do good in the community working with kids' teams and doing service or you can work in our office with our corporate sponsors making connections that you can use in your career later.

Nobody really thinks it's a one to one substitution, just that there's value in the second options too.

More like I'd like to play in the majors, but my skills aren't good enough, so I'll play on the company softball team.

[DSTRen13]

Wow ... how on earth did this innocent thread turn into this mess?? (And haven't we had this mess on here before --- many, many times???)

The culture of service, business, band, etc. fraternity and sororities is different on every campus, just like with other groups. How you may perceive these groups to be because of your college experience may not be true nationally. It may not even be true on your campus. NO ONE has any right to judge any other organization (whether NPHC, NPC, IFC, or otherwise) on their pledging process, their ritual, etc., because the fact is, YOU DON'T KNOW. You don't know, and you are never going to know, so you need to stay out of it and stop making claims that are none of your dang business.

Seriously.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

Wow ... how on earth did this innocent thread turn into this mess?? (And haven't we had this mess on here before --- many, many times???)

The culture of service, business, band, etc. fraternity and sororities is different on every campus, just like with other groups. How you may perceive these groups to be because of your college experience may not be true nationally. It may not even be true on your campus. NO ONE has any right to judge any other organization (whether NPHC, NPC, IFC, or otherwise) on their pledging process, their ritual, etc., because the fact is, YOU DON'T KNOW. You don't know, and you are never going to know, so you need to stay out of it and stop making claims that are none of your dang business.

Seriously.

You seem so earnest which just seems misplaced here. Once a fratty has thrown out the NAACP in a thread that's a sign it shouldn't be taken seriously enough even for a mad smilie.

[lucgreek]

Just my two cents but:

(This portion isn't meant to inflame or anger anyone, it's just what I have been exposed to/heard about/know of the APO at my school. Again, organizations differ by school, so take this as what they are considered at my school.)

First and foremost, at my school, APO is considered a club (by the school and by the students), just like a professional GLO. They don't sit on any sort of fraternity or sorority board, thusly I do not consider them a fraternity. Just because you call yourself a fraternity does not automatically make it so.

Also, APO at my university has more drama, bullshit, and members that dislike each other than any social fraternity/sorority (There was a case of several people deactivating because one of their friends didn't get elected president, along with cases of members openly disliking other ones and bashing them. I've also had a friend who kicked her own APO members out of a party she was having because they were talking shit). Take that as you will. My friends in APO feel much less a sense of belonging to a whole than I do with my social fraternity, I've been repeatedly told by so many people that they do it for their resume (and that's how they recruit on campus, just as a resume builder). And again, at my school as long as you do your APO services hours you get in.

But back to the original poster's question!

I don't know the fraternities where you are going, but it really depends. Speaking honestly, I don't know if you would have a lot in common with your undergrad pledge brothers and other potential brothers. That's the key thing I look for when considering people at rush events, whether or not they get along and whether they would fit.

Also, would you be willing to go to all the events that are undoubtedly required of you? Because you're over 30, I don't know if going to sorority mixers would even interest you. Would you be willing to do the undoubted bitch work of cleaning up after a party or mixer?

If you were rushing at my school, I would have to see how you bonded with everyone, especially the newest members just because if you don't really bond or have things in common with them, you probably won't spend time with your pledge class.

Honestly, I, personally, don't think I would pledge at your age, just because of the sheer amount of bitch work and 'paying your dues' you have to do as a pledge.

[Elephant Walk]

Originally Posted by lucgreek

Just my two cents but:

(This portion isn't meant to inflame or anger anyone, it's just what I have been exposed to/heard about/know of the APO at my school. Again, organizations differ by school, so take this as what they are considered at my school.)

First and foremost, at my school, APO is considered a club (by the school and by the students), just like a professional GLO. They don't sit on any sort of fraternity or sorority board, thusly I do not consider them a fraternity. Just because you call yourself a fraternity does not automatically make it so.

Also, APO at my university has more drama, bullshit, and members that dislike each other than any social fraternity/sorority (There was a case of several people deactivating because one of their friends didn't get elected president, along with cases of members openly disliking other ones and bashing them. I've also had a friend who kicked her own APO members out of a party she was having because they were talking shit). Take that as you will. My friends in APO feel much less a sense of belonging to a whole than I do with my social fraternity, I've been repeatedly told by so many people that they do it for their resume (and that's how they recruit on campus, just as a resume builder). And again, at my school as long as you do your APO services hours you get in.

But back to the original poster's question!

I don't know the fraternities where you are going, but it really depends. Speaking honestly, I don't know if you would have a lot in common with your undergrad pledge brothers and other potential brothers. That's the key thing I look for when considering people at rush events, whether or not they get along and whether they would fit.

Also, would you be willing to go to all the events that are undoubtedly required of you? Because you're over 30, I don't know if going to sorority mixers would even interest you. Would you be willing to do the undoubted bitch work of cleaning up after a party or mixer?

If you were rushing at my school, I would have to see how you bonded with everyone, especially the newest members just because if you don't really bond or have things in common with them, you probably won't spend time with your pledge class.

Honestly, I, personally, don't think I would pledge at your age, just because of the sheer amount of bitch work and 'paying your dues' you have to do as a pledge.

good post

[SPEtx454]

IMO, as a member, who has had a 30 and 50 something year old brothers, if they let you in, they should have the respect to treat you as a brother, if not at least a man, In Sigma Phi Epsilon, most chapters employ a balanced man stance which means you are a brother with full rights and privileges when you join, http://www.uwsigep.org/ is their website, check em out, if you want i can even get you in contact with their VP of recruitment so that they can answer any questions you have, also many chapters have a balanced man scholarship to help cover books, or even dues if you join. so i would say, enjoy your experience and being Greek is only going to make it better.

[Kato]

Thanks everyone for the interesting comments and observations. No I hadn't known prior to starting this thread that there were different types of GLS's, so if anything I'm a little better educated than I was yesterday.

I am really a bit more interested in the social comeraderie and events of a social organization. In addition to the lifetime networking I see this point in my life as my last real opportunity to play big and have fun. I'm just lucky enough to have a wife that understands and appreciates this opportunity and supports me in it (I know a LOT would be highly opposed to the idea).

Also I'll be frank, once I left the service I realized very quickly how much of a void was left when I no longer had fellows that I could identify so closely with as I did my squad, platoon and company mates. I may be assuming that Greek societies are the same level of do-or-die friendship, but it seems to me the closest thing to what I have grown to know.

I'll take the advice of those that have suggested taking a look never hurts. Like I said earlier, if there is an obvious fit with a group that's great, but if not that's fine too. I'll integrate into something, be it a GLS, a club sport or whatnot, and enjoy my time.

Again thanks to everyone on both sides of this discussion for your interesting comments.

Originally Posted by SPEtx454

IMO, as a member, who has had a 30 and 50 something year old brothers, if they let you in, they should have the respect to treat you as a brother, if not at least a man, In Sigma Phi Epsilon, most chapters employ a balanced man stance which means you are a brother with full rights and privileges when you join, http://www.uwsigep.org/ is their website, check em out, if you want i can even get you in contact with their VP of recruitment so that they can answer any questions you have, also many chapters have a balanced man scholarship to help cover books, or even dues if you join. so i would say, enjoy your experience and being Greek is only going to make it better.

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll take a good look at their web site and get in touch with their recruitment officer with a few of my question.

[RU OX Alum]

Originally Posted by emb021

No you didn't. You're just being a jerk. Nothing in the original post said only socials.

that's what people mean when they say "fraternity"

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by RU OX Alum

that's what people mean when they say "fraternity"

I am part of "people" and that's not what I mean.

[nate2512]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I am part of "people" and that's not what I mean.

No, you aren't part of people, you are part of "i think i know every damn thing there is to know about fraternities and i have my head stuck so far up my ass being technical that i miss the point of peoples posts."

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by nate2512

No, you aren't part of people, you are part of "i think i know every damn thing there is to know about fraternities and i have my head stuck so far up my ass being technical that i miss the point of peoples posts."

I don't miss the point. The points are usually wrong or ill-informed. You're more than familiar with giving those kinds.

[nate2512]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I don't miss the point. The points are usually wrong or ill-informed. You're more than familiar with giving those kinds.

Oh and every post you make on GC is oh so perfect and friendly for all. Can it. You don't know it all so don't even pretend you do. If you had any damn common sense you would have known he was referring to social, but like i said, i can't argue with you, cause you know everything, and you're never wrong.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by nate2512

but like i said, i can't argue with you

But your posts were nothing but an attempt to argue.