Legacy Dilemma

[knight_shadow]

Originally Posted by tld221

did i miss something?

Apparently we all missed the 2 new sororities added

[PANTHERTEKE]

Originally Posted by tld221

did i miss something?

I caught that, too.

It's 26, Panda. Not 28.

[PhiMu_Gator]

My grandmother was in a NPC sorority and my mother ended up being in different NPC since her mother's wasn't at her college, and crazily enough, I ended up in a completely different one even though both were at my university. I think being a legacy might have been special, but honestly each chapter is way different at each school. It's the women in that chapter that make the chapter. The ideals of each sorority are important, but each one has the common goal of being a place to become the woman you want to be and offering friendship, support, and love in that endeavor. Be proud of your legacy status in coming from a family that values sisterly bonds, but don't let it stop you from looking at all the options that are out there. =)

[AOII Angel]

Originally Posted by PhiMu_Gator

My grandmother was in a NPC sorority and my mother ended up being in different NPC since her mother's wasn't at her college, and crazily enough, I ended up in a completely different one even though both were at my university. I think being a legacy might have been special, but honestly each chapter is way different at each school. It's the women in that chapter that make the chapter. The ideals of each sorority are important, but each one has the common goal of being a place to become the woman you want to be and offering friendship, support, and love in that endeavor. Be proud of your legacy status in coming from a family that values sisterly bonds, but don't let it stop you from looking at all the options that are out there. =)

What a great explanation of why you shouldn't be so worried about pledging your mom's group or expecting your daughter to pledge yours!

[taurus0426]

Hey guys thanks for all your advice! My mother isnt pushing anything on me per se I just feel like I wasnt sure if I wanted to pledge this for me or for family traditon. I really do like her group but I dont wanna rule anything out. It's like when you're brought up in the thought that this is your destiny it's kinda hard....but times change so who knows? What was right in the 70's for her might not be the same for me in 2008. My family told me when they pledged it was beacuse black students needed to "stick together" in school but since then we made some progress.

[taurus0426]

And I want to do this on my own and not feel like I got in based on legacy status.

[Little32]

According to what you have said, your legacy status is a moot point anyway, so you don't have to worry about that at all.

Also, the only thing that I would add is that depending on your school, you might not have a good deal of time to make up your mind about an NPC org. Not rushing your freshman year can hurt you in some places; and AI is not often or routinely an option (from my understanding).

If you veer toward an NPHC organization, I would suggest that you remember that post-graduate membership is always an option. Don't rush a decision to pursue membership, because our organizations are a life-time commitment. Make sure that you are certain of your choice, and with an NPHC, you get to enjoy that luxury of time.

ETA: Even then, as my soror noted, just because you have made your choice does not mean that you will be chosen; this is true for both NPC and NPHC sororities.

[taurus0426]

Yeah when I hear about NPHC organziations I usually hear about the grad chapters.

Do more people join after college now? Many of the NPHC members I have met are graduate members or members who joined in college years ago, I havent met any undergrad members.

[AKA_Monet]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Okay now how should she be assisting me then? I know there's a special legacy form out there. I'm a very dilgent student so that's not a problem but why is it that when it comes to D9 organzations a person must do tons of research...

When we say "research" we mean you walk into Rush knowing at minimum--and preferably the entire website of information with focus on the programs/initiatives Internationally, locally, at the undergraduate level and graduate level if that is what you have.

The answer to your follow question is below in response to Ladygreek's response:

Originally Posted by ladygreek

Her mother hasn't been active since college. I doubt there is much she can do to assist her, since she would not know the current process. In fact, a mother's "help" can be to the detriment of the daughter...

Ladygreek, some of the comments are meant for EVERYONE...

That's the thing, a mother ought not be promoting her membership in her sorority if she is not active in an NPHC sorority... That is my personal opinion. Because WE ALL PROMOTE LIFELONG MEMBERSHIP...

In my opinion it is a detriment to the daughter when she has failed to teach her right... Like what to wear at Rush, appropriate and respectful behavior toward the members while on campus. How is one going to aspire to become a member and disrespect said members by refusal to attend ANY FREE on-campus functions?

No, I am not saying that a mother "help" her daughter get into said D4 sorority--that is helicopterish--she ought not have "guaranteed" her membership like that. If she wanted her daughter to pursue membership so bad, then how come her daughter never attended a grad chapter function, talk to the UGs while in high school, go to Regional Conferences and International Meetings? Hayle, these kids apply for our scholarships, but where's the payback?

It is gotten to the point where we have to KNOW these kids and their families before they "stroll" into our Sororities--before they get into college...

[taurus0426]

Originally Posted by AKA_Monet

When we say "research" we mean you walk into Rush knowing at minimum--and preferably the entire website of information with focus on the programs/initiatives Internationally, locally, at the undergraduate level and graduate level if that is what you have.

The answer to your follow question is below in response to Ladygreek's response:



Ladygreek, some of the comments are meant for EVERYONE...

That's the thing, a mother ought not be promoting her membership in her sorority if she is not active in an NPHC sorority... That is my personal opinion. Because WE ALL PROMOTE LIFELONG MEMBERSHIP...

In my opinion it is a detriment to the daughter when she has failed to teach her right... Like what to wear at Rush, appropriate and respectful behavior toward the members while on campus. How is one going to aspire to become a member and disrespect said members by refusal to attend ANY FREE on-campus functions?

No, I am not saying that a mother "help" her daughter get into said D4 sorority--that is helicopterish--she ought not have "guaranteed" her membership like that. If she wanted her daughter to pursue membership so bad, then how come her daughter never attended a grad chapter function, talk to the UGs while in high school, go to Regional Conferences and International Meetings? Hayle, these kids apply for our scholarships, but where's the payback?

It is gotten to the point where we have to KNOW these kids and their families before they "stroll" into our Sororities--before they get into college...

I have been to some of the regional events and participated in HS programs. I've also been to some grad functions as a guest of my program sponsor so I have some background. But what I dont get is why would my mother care where I joined? She hasnt been active in 30+ years yet I mention I might do some more research on the other 3 or *gasp* NPC she looks at me like I went nuts. I flat out asked her what she thought of me joining one of the NPCs and she said "why?" This goes for my friend and BF, their familes are flipping out at the thought of them not following in their footsteps when they joined at a different time period/different campus and the chapters on our campuses might not be good fits for us.

Question for legacies out there...was there ever any pressure to join by family members or was it just happenstance that it was a good fit for you too?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

But what I don't get is why would my mother care where I joined? She hasn't been active in 30+ years yet I mention I might do some more research on the other 3 or *gasp* NPC she looks at me like I went nuts.

This happens across the board, not just NPHC. Check out the Recruitment forum. You might think it doesn't matter to them anymore, but when your kidlets go off to college a lot of those things you experienced back then come back.

[tld221]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

I have been to some of the regional events and participated in HS programs. I've also been to some grad functions as a guest of my program sponsor so I have some background. But what I dont get is why would my mother care where I joined? She hasnt been active in 30+ years yet I mention I might do some more research on the other 3 or *gasp* NPC she looks at me like I went nuts. I flat out asked her what she thought of me joining one of the NPCs and she said "why?" This goes for my friend and BF, their familes are flipping out at the thought of them not following in their footsteps when they joined at a different time period/different campus and the chapters on our campuses might not be good fits for us.

Question for legacies out there...was there ever any pressure to join by family members or was it just happenstance that it was a good fit for you too?

Well, if you decide to rush an NPC, im sure "Why XYZ?" will come up. Wait, let me not assume.

NPCers, do you blatantly ask "Why do you want to be an XYZ?" during rush? or is that some rule infraction?

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by taurus0426

Yeah when I hear about NPHC organziations I usually hear about the grad chapters.

Do more people join after college now? Many of the NPHC members I have met are graduate members or members who joined in college years ago, I havent met any undergrad members.

There has definitely been an increase in recent years of people joining the NPHC orgs after undergrad but I'm not sure if more people are joining after college vs. undergrad although this could be the case for some of the orgs.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

There has definitely been an increase in recent years of people joining the NPHC orgs after undergrad but I'm not sure if more people are joining after college vs. undergrad although this could be the case for some of the orgs.

I'm sure all of our nhqs have data on this. However, the demographic data that I have seen doesn't break the alumnae membership down into undergrad initiates who graduated as compared to alumnae initiates.

In the areas that I'm used to, you're more prone to run into graduate and alumnae intiated frat and sorority members, particularly people who couldn't make certain organizations at certain schools.

[taurus0426]

I'm coming close to screaming. She keeps bouncing back and forth from saying I should choose my own path to looking at me pscyho when I said NPC.

I've had a year to figrue out stuff and to that person who just said it was my decison I know but I dont want this to get out of hand and cause some drama...beacuse it will. This isnt the first time I've done something like this (not-Greek but "switching sides). I'm looking at a service GLO so that's a plus....no arguements there.

You know the only person who's a neutral party is my dad....which proably beacuse he was really understanding about when my brothers didnt pledge his frat and went GDI.

Does anyone know of any links related to this topic? Maybe something for "sorority moms?"