Parents and college orientation

[DeltAlum]

WAY back in the day we had what was called "Pre-College" (orientation) which was two or three days as I recall. We took placement tests, tours, lectures on rules and dorm life and stuff like that.

My gut feeling is that there were a lot more rules then -- womens hours, not living off campus until age 21, etc., along with the normal conduct (academic and personal) issues. In Loco Parentis was not a wonderful thing for the college student of my era.

I think some parents might have been there -- mine weren't.

As for grade reports, isn't it against some privacy law or something to send parents report cards these days? It wasn't really an issue for us since both of ours did very well (3.96 and 4.0) in their college careers.

[KSigkid]

Originally Posted by DeltAlum

WAY back in the day we had what was called "Pre-College" (orientation) which was two or three days as I recall. We took placement tests, tours, lectures on rules and dorm life and stuff like that.

My gut feeling is that there were a lot more rules then -- womens hours, not living off campus until age 21, etc., along with the normal conduct (academic and personal) issues. In Loco Parentis was not a wonderful thing for the college student of my era.

I think some parents might have been there -- mine weren't.

As for grade reports, isn't it against some privacy law or something to send parents report cards these days? It wasn't really an issue for us since both of ours did very well (3.96 and 4.0) in their college careers.

I could see it being an issue for reasons other than grades; for example, some parents want their children to major in something specific (i.e. want their child to be pre-med, business, etc.), but the child wants to do something else. There could be fights about classes scheduled, number of classes taken, etc.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Pepperdine has NSO the week before classes begin in the end of August. Parents go too, but I think their orientation is just a couple days. Anyway, at Pepperdine the students and parents don't even have to move themselves in - the NSO counselors rush out to the cars as they pull up in front of the dorms and move all your boxes into your room for you! It's over in a flash, which is actually kinda traumatizing for some kids (like me!) who are not quite ready to say goodbye yet. So for the first couple days, the freshmen go to sessions about courses and the GE curriculum, activities on campus, greek life, etc. while parents go to sessions about letting go, how to get involved with Pepp as a parent, etc. Both parents and students are invited to some sessions together, such as Financial Aid. Then the parents leave, and the students are immediately focused on their first teambuilding experience as students - Frosh Follies, a really fun tradition that introduces students to their dormmates and classmates, but also is very effective at delaying - for a while anyway - homesickness, which is quite present at a school where half the students are from out-of-state.

ETA: Oh, and I'm thrilled that I made the decision to go to school a plane ride away from home. My friends that went to schools within a few hours' drive from home just did not grow up as quickly as I did. They went home on some weekends, and Thanksgivings, whereas I only went home at winter and summer breaks. All of you parents that don't trust your kids: why don't you? Did you shelter them so much that you're afraid for them to be without you? Or did they fail to learn their lesson when they raised hell in high school? Either way, isn't that kindof your fault? I'm thrilled that my family did not limit my options for where I could go to school - not by geography or finances or anything else. All they cared about was that I'd be somewhere where I'd learn a lot and mature into an adult - whether that was across the lake or across the country. I knew that my family would only pay so much and that if I wanted to go somewhere that was more than that, it was my responsibility...and I was OK with that. In fact, I embraced it, because I knew that my family couldn't hold me hostage with that money; I think it's terribly manipulative for parents to do that...very passive aggressive. Do you want your kids to make their own decisions or not? I had a sorority sister whose family bought her a new BMW her sophomore year, then they made her drive home to visit them whenever they wanted. They also paid for her cell phone, so she had to answer the phone whenever they called (even if she was in a bar) because they threatened to take her phone away if she didn't. It's a terrible tactic used by parents who don't want to give up control of their kids, even when the "kids" are 22 year old adults! In my friend's case, I used to tell her that if I was her, and those types of restrictions were put upon me, I wouldn't accept them.

[AGDee]

Thanks for all the info. As with most things, it sounds like "it depends on the school". I'll just have to wait and see who wants to pay her to go there...lol. That said, I guess we'll focus on driver's ed first (which she is eligible to start in October) My intent all along has been to raise independent children and the fact that she is going on a 20 day trip to Europe with People to People without me this summer, at age 14, speaks to just how independent she is. I wouldn't have had the confidence to do that at her age! I tend to see myself as the parent who would drop her off at the front door and make myself available to her when she wants to call/come home, but encourage her to embrace her new surroundings (and go through recruitment...lol)

[FSUZeta]

speaking of parents attending orientation, hubby and i just got back from son's orientation. school does a good job of keeping parents busy(and actually imparts valuable information at the same time) and out of their kids and the administrations hair.

as seasoned parents,husband and i were sitting in the food court, having coffee and reading the newspaper, during the time that the incoming freshmen were meeting with their advisors and signing up for classes. there was another dad at the table next to ours. he sat by himself for about an hour after which he was joined by his wife. wife bustles up to the table, red faced and hair askew, positively fuming. she tells husband that she has been told that the kids will sign up by themselves for their classes-that there are advisors and counselors at the ready to help them, should they need it. she then goes on to say that she "guesses that they(she and her husband) are just there to pay the bills", and asks "how does the school expect the kids to choose their classes without the guidance of their parents?the kids don't know what they are doing!" husband pats her on the arm and assures her that they can always re-register their son on his computer at the office. after a few more heated rants about not being able to choose their childs class, they amble off. my husband and i give each other knowing looks.

later as we are helping our son collect his overnight things from the dorm room he stayed in, i spy the unfortunate son of those parents and point him out to our son. our son just shakes his head and agrees with us that it is a shame that those parents don't trust their child enough to let him sign up for his own classes. poor kid-we hope he doesn't know what his parents tried to do.