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We have an all member list, known as the "all list". We also have the following lists:
only brothers
only pledges (and the pledge educator)
only officers
officers and committee chairs
alumni (with brothers having the option to subscribe if they want).
Lastly, we have a list that is for random shit, meaning funny videos, random vents, funny comments basically all the unimportant, nonessential stuff.
All these lists may seem like overkill, but we had a very good IT chair a few years ago that set it up to be essentially seamless. "All list" traffic can get up to 10-20 a day, spiking at points in the year where a lot of chapter communication is necessary (rush, homecoming, Greek Week, move-out). Everyone has the right to send emails, but peer pressure keeps useless emails minimized, for the most part.
I think that adding an optional "useless shit" email list would help you a lot. Come up with a catchy name for it. Having a list that is explicitly designated as the place where offensive and things should be sent helps reduce the noise on the list that actually has important stuff on it. If people can't stand the heat, they can remove their membership from the optional list.
Brothers calling each other out on the list is a whole different matter. Perhaps a short (5 minute) presentation in chapter on basic email etiquette would help. Teach the difference between "reply" and "reply all", and when each is appropriate. Make it funny, and keep it short. You need to determine what your own policies are, but make them easy to remember and reasonable.
Examples:
"no boobs on the all list"
"don't talk about (insert things that could get you in trouble if your greek advisor saw them here) on the lists"
"label stuff NSFW if it's not safe for work, and only send it to the useless shit list"
"no calling people out on any list, settle that in private like a man"
"If you send something extremely stupid out, it's ok to make fun of you, but only on the useless shit list".
If someone repeatedly breaks/disregards those rules, I guess you could vote in exec on whether to take their privileges away, perhaps for a set period of time, increasing with multiple offenses or something, and make it known what has been done and why. (We've never done this to my knowledge, so this is untested advice)
These are just my suggestions, and they probably aren't the exact right things for you, but you can take them for whatever they're worth. Hope this helps.
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