Cutting the umbilical cord

[Scandia]

How old were you when you left home?

23, almost 24

What was probably one of the biggest challenges that you had when living on your own? Juggling school and work? paying bills? room mates?

Let's just say my job did not work out.

How has the experience made you feel thus far? What would you change about it?
I would have been MUCH more discreet about it online.

What advice would you give to a parent faced with the prospect of a child that has to leave the nest?
To be supportive of his or her child. Even if the young one does everything right, something life throws you curve balls.

Under what circumstances would you let your child return home or you would give them help?
Job losses that were not the child's fault.

Which do you think is harder to cope with: a daughter learning to live on her own or a son facing the same thing?
It depends on the individual and not on the gender.

[aephi alum]

How old were you when you left home? I left home at 17 for college. I "permanently" left home (moved into my own apartment, changed my driver's license, etc.) at 21.

What was probably one of the biggest challenges that you had when living on your own? Juggling school and work? paying bills? room mates? I had the roommates from hell during my freshman year. But I think my biggest shock was going directly from being totally under the thumb of two hyper-controlling parents to being totally on my own. Suddenly, I had my own bank account, my own credit cards (once I turned 18 a couple of months later), my own choice of how to manage my time, my own choice of whether to go to Mass or sleep in on a Sunday.

How has the experience made you feel thus far? What would you change about it? See below...

What advice would you give to a parent faced with the prospect of a child that has to leave the nest? Let your child dip her toes into the grown-up pool before she gets thrown in head-first. Give your teenager an allowance and let her manage her own money - if she wants the fancy expensive jeans, she must save up for them. Let her make her own decisions, within reason, about where to apply to college.

Under what circumstances would you let your child return home or you would give them help? I would theoretically allow a child to return home temporarily if she suffered some difficult and unexpected hardship - a layoff, a divorce, etc. She would be "gently encouraged" to get back on her feet and move back out.

Which do you think is harder to cope with: a daughter learning to live on her own or a son facing the same thing? I have no children. But I think I would cope with either gender the same way - s/he is an adult and gets to go off on his/her own. When I left the nest, I kicked ass and took names, and I would expect any daughter of mine to do likewise.

[sjsoffer]

How old were you when you left home?
- Barely 18, I graduated high school early and the last day of HS, I moved for college.

What was probably one of the biggest challenges that you had when living on your own? Juggling school and work? paying bills? room mates?
- Paying bills was hard at first because it was tough to find a job with no car. I've been paying my own bills for years, but of course I never had to pay rent until I moved away and I was stressed out about it at first.

How has the experience made you feel thus far? What would you change about it?
-I feel great about it. I pay for things on my own, aside from my health insurance. Sometimes my parents send me money from my school account for school expenses, or to take my cats to the vet, though that's less and less frequent. I wouldn't change anything, but I want to point out that I still miss my parents and talk to them almost daily. I never go back home though. Maybe twice a year...

What advice would you give to a parent faced with the prospect of a child that has to leave the nest?
-Don't worry! There's a learning period, but people have been leaving home forever.

Under what circumstances would you let your child return home or you would give them help?
-I don't have any children so my advice is probably silly, but I would always try to help my kids out. My parents can't work due to disabilities but they still do everything they can to help me and let me know they're here for me.

Which do you think is harder to cope with: a daughter learning to live on her own or a son facing the same thing?

I think both are hard. My boyfriend had to learn how to do laundry and my male roommate never learned how to do that or clean up after himself but I'm not going to say girls wouldn't have that problem either...