DARK/LIGHT...SKIN COLOR.........Is this still an issue? Let's be honest Sorors & SF'

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by Velocity_14

How about I used to hear (still a little today) "oooh you got some pretty hair to be darkskinned." Uuuuuuuuuum, so what is that supposed to mean??? Is my hair supposed to be bad because I'm dark; I'm not suppose to take care of my hair? Geeeeeesh!

yup I used to get that when I was younger. I also used to get "your hair is so long to be dark skinned" or the ever popular "you are so pretty to be dark skinned."

How about this, I once had a guy tell me that I was really pretty but that he didn't date dark skinned girls and he was dark. I guess he was afraid of ending up with dark skinned kids.

[Velocity_14]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

yup I used to get that when I was younger. I also used to get "your hair is so long to be dark skinned" or the ever popular "you are so pretty to be dark skinned."

How about this, I once had a guy tell me that I was really pretty but that he didn't date dark skinned girls and he was dark. I guess he was afraid of ending up with dark skinned kids.

The nerve of some people! When my hair was long people used to assume FIRST that it wasn't mine. I cut my hair in a short layered bob a couple of months ago but I am going to grow it back out because I miss my "bounce" and I found a good and affordable beautician. Now people want to ask me is my hair a wig...I mean dude...come on.....lol. Why can't it just be pretty because it's pretty...not pretty to be dark skinned.

Girl, I would have asked that man has he looked in the mirror lately or told him I didn't date dark skinned men either...just to see what he would say...lol. Peaple are really a trip!

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by Velocity_14

The nerve of some people! When my hair was long people used to assume FIRST that it wasn't mine. I cut my hair in a short layered bob a couple of months ago but I am going to grow it back out because I miss my "bounce" and I found a good and affordable beautician. Now people want to ask me is my hair a wig...I mean dude...come on.....lol. Why can't it just be pretty because it's pretty...not pretty to be dark skinned.

Girl, I would have asked that man has he looked in the mirror lately or told him I didn't date dark skinned men either...just to see what he would say...lol. Peaple are really a trip!

Girl, that happened when I was in my teens and I was so used to being discriminated against (yes, by Black people both light and dark) that it didn't bother me anymore. For one thing, I knew that I was fine and my family and others always told me how beautiful I was but I admit that I did wrestle with self-esteem as a younger child...kids are cruel ya know. I was also always taught to be proud of being Black, we all were in my family and I have family members of all different shades. That is the only way this kind of thing will stop. We have to teach our children that "Black is Beautiful" no matter what shade it comes in, no matter what texture of hair and you have to teach your kids to be proud of their African American and African heritage while they're young. Knowledge of self can really make the difference and until we get that thru our heads, there will be more of the same.

[DSTCHAOS]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

Girl, that happened when I was in my teens and I was so used to being discriminated against (yes, by Black people both light and dark) that it didn't bother me anymore. For one thing, I knew that I was fine and my family and others always told me how beautiful I was but I admit that I did wrestle with self-esteem as a younger child...kids are cruel ya know. I was also always taught to be proud of being Black, we all were in my family and I have family members of all different shades. That is the only way this kind of thing will stop. We have to teach our children that "Black is Beautiful" no matter what shade it comes in and you have to teach your kids to be proud of their African American and African heritage while they're young. Knowledge of self can really make the difference and until we get that thru our heads, there will be more of the same.

I agree.

Kids pick that nonsense up from adults and not always their parents, as well as from popular images. My first overt exposure to it was from my elementary school classmates who had gotten it from the adults in their lives. I remember when I was little I wrote a short story about a "pretty lightskinned girl with long hair and an ugly darkskinned girl with very short hair" (). I had the nerve to read that story to my best friend at the time who was dark skinned with short hair. She thought I made the story about the two of us. She said "so...you're saying I'm ugly?" and she started crying and was depressed the rest of the day. I was so ashamed and my parents definitely gave me a TALKING TO about that. I got in trouble and I should've. That nonsense was fed to me and my parents were trying to dispose of it before it was too late.

[Velocity_14]

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

Girl, that happened when I was in my teens and I was so used to being discriminated against (yes, by Black people both light and dark) that it didn't bother me anymore. For one thing, I knew that I was fine and my family and others always told me how beautiful I was but I admit that I did wrestle with self-esteem as a younger child...kids are cruel ya know. I was also always taught to be proud of being Black, we all were in my family and I have family members of all different shades. That is the only way this kind of thing will stop. We have to teach our children that "Black is Beautiful" no matter what shade it comes in, no matter what texture of hair and you have to teach your kids to be proud of their African American and African heritage while they're young. Knowledge of self can really make the difference and until we get that thru our heads, there will be more of the same.

Exactly. It wasn't always so easy for me to love myself just the way I am. It was a process, but I was alway taught too that any kind of black is beautiful. My mother, who is originally from Liberia, West Africa, has had the most impact on how I see myself as not only a woman but a woman of color. People ASSume a lot of things about me and my family because I am half African and the things people say.....wheeeew knowledge certainly is the Torch!! If people could see my mother's side of the family they would be surprised...lol..you will see white people, light people, inbetween people, and everthing else...and its all beautiful.

The part of your quote I bolded...you said that! Yeeeeees mayam you did!

[rhoyaltempest]

Originally Posted by Velocity_14

Exactly. It wasn't always so easy for me to love myself just the way I am. It was a process, but I was alway taught too that any kind of black is beautiful. My mother, who is originally from Liberia, West Africa, has had the most impact on how I see myself as not only a woman but a woman of color. People ASSume a lot of things about me and my family because I am half African and the things people say.....wheeeew knowledge certainly is the Torch!! If people could see my mother's side of the family they would be surprised...lol..you will see white people, light people, inbetween people, and everthing else...and its all beautiful.

The part of your quote I bolded...you said that! Yeeeeees mayam you did!

Children will accept what you teach them as long as you constantly reinforce it. I used to teach English at a private school in Philly that was "African centered." The kids were taught on a regular basis about their African American and African heritage. They were taught to be proud of being Black and terms like "good har/bad hair" and being teased for being dark or light was unacceptable. I can honestly say that I only caught a child teasing another child for being dark once. I only taught there for a year but it was a beautiful thing to be a part of. I know there are a lot of external influences that can lead one to self hate but it's not that hard on our part. Just teach your children to love themselves and their heritage and keep reinforcing this in positive ways.