Concerned about a situation in cousin's chapter.

[skylark]

I'll chime in here, too, to say that cutting yourself doesn't necessarily mean that person is about to go apesh!t on everyone. It is a not uncommon symptom/coping mechanism of clinical depression or bipolar disorder and it would be really unfortunate to conclude that this young man is more unstable than he actually is. Yes, he needs help, but no, this behavior doesn't mean he's so unstable you should be afraid to approach him about his problems.

On approaching the member about getting mental health: you don't want it to seem like you are trying to pawn off this guy's problems on a stranger instead of his friends/brothers... because he may be having some issues with blaming others for not being supportive.

I think the most caring and sincere way to communicate to someone that you care and because you care you want to help is FIRST to spend some time talking to him (preferably when sober) about how he feels and why he sometimes does these things. Something like "Hey man, I noticed you seemed down today/yesterday/last week and I wanted you to know that you can talk to me if you'd like about this stuff. I know that sometimes talking to someone about a problem sometimes makes it a lot easier to deal with." Then, if he says he wants to talk... LISTEN. Only at the end of when he's done talking (or if he says he doesn't want to talk about it with you), suggest that either you/a friend/a relative has really had a lot of success with counseling and "hey man, it never hurts to try."

ETA: I'd also follow up with some recommendations next time you see him (or if you really don't want to address the issue in person, again, you could even email him some names if you know he checks it). I wouldn't recommend having the recommendations immediately because that may make it seem to planned out. If he says he wants immediate help, you can go together to a computer to get the info and go together to the campus mental health provider. (One more reason to do this during the day... besides the likeliness that you'll be talk to this guy when you're both sober)

[UGAalum94]

I like to think some of the members of the group who are closer to him could approach him, after doing a little research to get specific referral information, and talk to him when he is sober and likely to be more receptive. I think that communicates most effectively that you honestly care about this guy's health as a top priority.

On the other hand, I think you can come down hard from a risk management perspective from within the group with the help of advisors and executive council if the guy won't seek help or won't stop acting this way.

First, you obviously want to protect him but you do have an obligation to protect group members and their guest from his behavior. His behavior, even if he doesn't actually attack any other people, IS harmful to the group. It's going to be hard to be a happy, healthy member of a group if at every party a member can be relied on to get excessively drunk and do harm to himself. It's a group problem too.