Concerned about a situation in cousin's chapter.

[AKA_Monet]

Obviously, he needs to talk to someone professionally. The issue is he is developing a bad habit of consuming alcohol beyond his physiological capacity and allowing that substance to wreck havoc on his reasonable judgment to the threat of violence.

Firstly universities are coming down hard of that behavior due to its unpredictability. So, to be pre-emptive, there could be a mandatory alcohol and substance abuse presentation made by local officials and that all members are required to go so that a professional healthcare provider will be made available after the presentation...

IMO, that would be the quickest way to get him to seeing someone professionally.

I would not recommend any kind of friendly confrontation because he may view it as an attack and may still be in denial. That is my opinion.

[Benzgirl]

^^^^ Absolutely agree. Self-injury is a personality disorder and is sometimes considered an impulse-control behavior problem. Most frequently sufferers do it because they are numb and want to feel pain. Alcohol only makes things worse.

The chapter needs to encourage their brother to get help. Many behavioral disorders, particularly in males, come out in the late teens and early twenties.

Maybe the fraternity can do it subtly by having a social worker speak to the chapter on mood and behavioral disorders (avoid the word "mental"). They could do it as a risk management program.

[Leslie Anne]

Sorry I've got to butt in here but I see this being taken completely the wrong way and it's causing me a great deal of concern.

First off, self-injury actually is not a personality disorder. Coming down hard on him isn't the way to resolve it and an alcohol & substance abuse presentation isn't going to help him the least bit.

This young man definitely needs professional help immediately. Most self-injurers do not become violent towards others because it is not about violence to begin with. It's a coping mechanism. I don't have the answers about how to approach him except that it should be done with compassion.

Dionysus, I can understand your concern for the safety of your cousin and the other members of the fraternity. Obviously since I don't know this guy I can't say if he could become violent to others in addition to be a self-injurer. I have a very good resource for this question so I'm going to take it there and I'll let you know what I learn.

[Adopt-a-Lab-GA]

Goodness, it sounds like this new member needs the help of a mental health professional asap. As a private mental health practitioner, I am not telling you how to handle this specific situation...it would be unethical for me to do so, not having seen this person myself. However, here are some suggestions for situations like this.

Encourage his big brother or someone close to him to have a one on one talk with him and encourage him to seek counseling. Most universities now have very competent counselors on staff at their college/univ health centers.

If their is no counselor or psychologist at the university/college mental health center, then have him utilize the mental health services that are provided by his health insurance. Most college students are on their parents' insurance. If that is the case for him, there should be a #1-800 type number on the back of his insurance card for mental health/substance abuse. He can call that number and get a referral for someone to see in his area.

Re: him being potentially dangerous and the personality disorder issue, no, it is highly unlikely that he would be dangerous to others. He clearly has a pattern of taking his feelings out on himself, not others. That past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior. So, if anything, he would be at risk for increased self harm, NOT harm to others.

In addition, while tendencies toward self harm can sometimes be part of a larger personality disorder spectrum, that is not always the case. For example, many people with anxiety, esp in the college age group, will lack the coping skills to deal with general anxiety and will use self harm as a temporary way to cope. As unhealthy as it is, often a combo of cognitive behavioral therapy for the anxiety, a good support system and decreased alcohol intake may completely alleviate his tendencies toward self harm.

It's best for the chapter to approach situations like this with a nonjudgemental and caring attitude. That will be more healthy for them and will also help the new member to see that he will not be chastized in any way for getting some help.