Reality Show for Stay-at-Home Moms

nittanyalum · #1 03-14-2008, 01:32 PM

I had an employee that definitely out-earned her husband by a long shot (even though he had an MBA and good job in his own right). He opted to stay home with their kids and has done an amazing job with them. I'm sure there's some level of self-consciousness he has in some situations (their holiday newsletters talk about her promotions and the company going public, his volunteer work and participation in the PTA), and she expresses some guilt and feels some loss about not being the one with the kids all day and seeing all the "firsts" and getting all the hugs and kisses. But they also like their really big house and lifestyle and her career is the one who can fund that.

I know people who get red in the face arguing on both sides of this issue and it just wears me out. It will always be an issue. People's economic circumstances will always come in to play. People's values will always come in to play. I have friends who will flat out tell you that even if they could, they wouldn't choose to stay at home because they just "couldn't take it". And if that's the case, the kids probably are better off in another care situation. Other friends can't imagine someone else hugging their kids, seeing their "firsts", etc., and can't imagine those who do miss all that.

And unfortunately, I believe never the twain shall meet.

ForeverRoses · #2 03-14-2008, 01:58 PM

I stayed home for 2 years with my first son. With my second son, he went to daycare when he was 6 weeks old (a traditional daycare center) with my third, he (and his older brother) went to an in-home sitter at 6 weeks. One of the reasons we switched from a center to in-home was because I wanted the SAME person to give my kids the hugs and kisses and to see their firsts if I wasn't there (I saw the difficult adjustments that #1 had when he had to switch rooms every 6 months-year).
Do I feel Mommy guilt for working? Yes. but working makes me a better person and therefore a better Mommy. I lost several "friends" when I went back to work (mainly from my Moms Playgroup) because they were offended that I went back to work (hello, our bank account was going backward, I have to work).

Anyway, I have watched this show, and thought it was great premise. I don't think staying home versus going to work can ever be resolved, because one shoe doesn't fit all.

DaemonSeid · #3 03-14-2008, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

I had an employee that definitely out-earned her husband by a long shot (even though he had an MBA and good job in his own right). He opted to stay home with their kids and has done an amazing job with them. I'm sure there's some level of self-consciousness he has in some situations (their holiday newsletters talk about her promotions and the company going public, his volunteer work and participation in the PTA), and she expresses some guilt and feels some loss about not being the one with the kids all day and seeing all the "firsts" and getting all the hugs and kisses. But they also like their really big house and lifestyle and her career is the one who can fund that.

I know people who get red in the face arguing on both sides of this issue and it just wears me out. It will always be an issue. People's economic circumstances will always come in to play. People's values will always come in to play. I have friends who will flat out tell you that even if they could, they wouldn't choose to stay at home because they just "couldn't take it". And if that's the case, the kids probably are better off in another care situation. Other friends can't imagine someone else hugging their kids, seeing their "firsts", etc., and can't imagine those who do miss all that.

And unfortunately, I believe never the twain shall meet.

For all of that, I say, we don't live in 'traditional' America any more.

We have to learn to adapt to what suits us best to get our children on their way.

What is good about what you said is AT LEAST the father is in the picture. How many can even attest to that....?

DSTCHAOS · #4 03-14-2008, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

What is good about what you said is AT LEAST the father is in the picture. How many can even attest to that....?

Well married couples have unfortunately become the minority in this country.

But I don't know the stats on father abandonment for the general population. I just know that the black community, in general, suffers from an absence of male role models and fathers.