Question from a confused mother

[vamom11]

Please feel free to point me in the right direction!

My daughter went through informal rush (only a few house participated) but didn't get a bid (only 3 slots were open in the house she was interested in). She didn't particpate in rush in the fall since she wasn't sure if she wanted to join a sorority but after informal rush (she had a great time) has decided that she'd like to go through Formal Recruitment this fall.

A lot of sophomores go through rush at her school so that's not a problem. What I'm curious about is this...will not getting a bid during informal rush hurt her during Formal Recruitment?

My college was very small and didn't have Greeks so this is all new to me

[LucyKKG]

I don't think it will hurt her chances. Other GCers would know better than me, but that's where I stand.

[SWTXBelle]

It shouldn't - worse case scenario, the one house remembers her, but that is only one of many. Odds are that they will not remember her at all - or if they do, it will be that she was interested and they didn't have room. So tell your daughter not to worry too much. Have read all the excellent recruitment advice threads here on GC, and good luck!

[KSUViolet06]

If she only did informal at one chapter, then it shouldn't hurt her. It would be different if she went though informal at EVERY sorority and didn't get a bid, that would make sororities a little cautious. I say she should give formal recruitment a try.

[SunnyBlueEyes]

At my campus, we actually encourage the women to keep going through the recruitment experience especially after they are cut during COB. COB is a harder cut and decision on the sorority and just because she was cut does not mean that the sorority did not like her.

I find that those women who do go to COB events and openhouses and then go through Formal recruitment in the Fall actually have a better chance because the sororities will remember meeting them in the winter. We encourage women who are interested in joining a sorority to go out to as many events as possible and get your face out there. The more women get to meet you and know you, the "easier" recruitment can go in the fall because those initial barriers are down.

Does this help at all?

[vamom11]

It sure does SunnyBlueEyes and that's exactly what my daughter's been told. From what she's said since, it really was a numbers thing...3 spots with4 girls they really liked and the cosmic dice just didn't role in her favor this time around. Naturally, she was a little disappointed but overall she had a really positive experience and she's looking forward to formal recruitment come September.

As I mentioned before, I went to a small woman's college that didn't have sororities so I'm not familiar with all the rules. My daughter and her roommate are very close and will be rooming again together next year. Roommate did rush and pledge a soroity this past fall. From what I can gather, there are strict rules about sisters hanging out with PNM during Recruitment. Does this apply to roommates too? I'd hate for them not to be able to talk to each other for a month while my daughter is going through FR. It probably sounds like a silly question, but I know neither one of the girls want to break the rules

[SunnyBlueEyes]

It depends on what is exactly said in that campus's recruitment rules. If you live with someone that usually falls under normal social contact. And if they are in their own apartment obviously they can talk to each other lol. But it depends on the rules on going out to meijers, mall and parties. On our campus, parties are a definite no. Or at least they cannot ride in the same car together. However depending on the campus, if they are roommates they can do the normal things like grocery shop and what not as long as they aren't talking about recruitment.

And really encourage your daughter to not talk about recruitment during recruitment with her roommate because comments from her affiliated roommate may give her biases and its even more exciting on Bid day when the roommate doesn't know exactly which sorority she is accepting a bid to.

Also one last thing. Because your daughter did go through COB, please make sure that she keeps an open mind throughout recruitment because her mind may change on which sorority she really would like to go. And I hope her roommate is supportive if she does decide to go to another sorority than the one is she in.

Hope she is excited for recruitment and I am happy that a parent is on here and so supportive of their daughter going through recruitment

[vamom11]

Thanks, I'll pass along your thoughts. Since her college really encourages girls to wait until their sophomore year to go through recruitment, they must have a policy in place pertaining to roommates.

Knowing these two girls, they would definitely NOT discuss Recruitment until it was all over. Roommate's just excited that my daughter's going to try for a sorority espcially since she wasn't interested at all when they were going through orientation last Aug. I think having a roommate who pledged allowed my daughter to get rid of a lot pre-conceived notions. Her grandmother was a Delta Gamma at the University of Iowa in the 50's and has been able to talk with her a little bit.

I'll let you know what happens in September and I really do appreciate all the information you've given me!!