Spouses of Ques

[Wolfman]

I want to tread carefully in this response but I will give this opinion: this is not a Greek issue as much as it is a relationship issue. In my past, I've seen similar dynamics most often in terms of the Christian context. I've talked with a husband who feels the same way when his wife "gets saved" and her love for God and his Church is perceived as threatening or displacing the relationship with the husband. Or a call to the ministry and the outworkings of the decision to follow that call can have the same effect. Or it could be the birth of a child in a relationship may be seen as drawing away the time, attention and love for the spouse to the detriment of the relationship.

Relationships are dynamic;we grow and change. Our relationships have to be deep enough and malleable enough to be renegotiated as we go through life changes. It's about trust and a shared vision of life together. Communication is the key, as many posters have rightly opined.

One a more personal note as it regards fraternity life, I've seen Brothers who loved Omega more than their wives. I met a Bruh at a picnic in LA whose wife hated the Fraternity because he used to put hanging out at the Frat house in the NJ town they lived in before they moved for her job before family time. One Saturday--their family day--after he came back from "bein' owt" at the Frat house instead of spending quality time with his wife and daughter, he found all his s@#t out on the porch, his wife angrily telling him, 'If you love your brothers so much you need to go live with them.' This is an extreme case. Most neophytes learn how to incorporate their newfound love--Omega--into their domestic life. In fact, in my experience of almost 30 years, Omega tends to be very family oriented. A older once told me that he was very suspicious of Brothers who isolated their families from their life in the Fraternity. It's expected that Brothers know each others spouses and children and they socialize together in appropriate contexts.

This is another life change which has to be incorporated into the warp and woof of the changing tapestry of your relationship, by mutual consent and work.