How do you reposition your fraternity?

[SOPi_Jawbreaker]

You may not have meant to offend but your original post just seemed like you look down on "fobs". To me, it came across like you thought they were annoying, perpetuating stereotypes, embarrassing, good for a laugh, and nothing more than that...like they have no deeper human worth. I'm sure you're a nice person and from your other posts on other threads, it doesn't seem like you're a callous or malicious person. But your first post did come across like you thought you were better than them and didn't think much of them.

Without "fobs" paving the way, you and I and millions of young Asian-American women would not have the privilege of going to college, the privilege of getting good jobs, the privilege of buying/owning property, or the privilege of having the same rights/protections/freedoms as our Caucasian counterparts.

There are soooooo many countries around the world where it's so dangerous to be a women or to be a racial/ethnic minority...where they don't have the rights and protections that we have here in the US.



ETA: My point in posting isn't to make you feel bad. I know you already apologized. I just wanted to share how your post came across because I think sometimes we post things and the tone other people read is different than the tone intended. Such as my re-reading what I wrote above. I see that it may be taken as being harsh, but I'm not intending to be harsh. Just sharing how your post can be taken from a different perspective than you had probably intended.

Originally Posted by SOPi_Jawbreaker

Without "fobs" paving the way, you and I and millions of young Asian-American women would not have the privilege of going to college, the privilege of getting good jobs, the privilege of buying/owning property, or the privilege of having the same rights/protections/freedoms as our Caucasian counterparts.

This hits home 110%.

I'm glad I have living examples in my mom, aunts, and uncles to remind me of this.

[banditone]

Originally Posted by SOPi_Jawbreaker

You may not have meant to offend but your original post just seemed like you look down on "fobs"..

She said she's sorry. What do you want her to do? Cut her e-finger, and give you some e-blood?

[greekone87]

SOPi_jawbreaker and violetpretty-

Your posts were both very helpful. Thank you.

SOPi...I know of the fraternity that you're talking about if indeed you're from PSU. We're actually very similar to them here, albeit not as active in shows and such. Perhaps that's where we can place our efforts.

Violetpretty...I joined a South Asian fraternity, because unfortunately at my school everyone creates cliques along racial lines and that goes for Greek life as well. If I wanted to, I would have been the only South Asian person at most of the NIC/IFC fraternities. You made a lot of really good points. We're definitely for diversity and being cultural and well-rounded is a part of what our fraternity stands for. Even though it seems like we're a bit too cultural at this point, I can definitely see us interchanging our strong points.

The brothers that felt we needed an image repair actually did at one point get a brotherhood trip to the mall in an effort to get the not so cool lookin guys to up their image a bit (of course we didn't tell them this). Although, this ultimately failed because the brothers that needed it the most ironically thought they didn't need to shop ("I have enough clothes"), but it was a good time just hanging with them.


And a lot of this has to do with experience. When Doves Cry said she's sorry and I'm sure she's a nice person. She's also probably had experiences other people (Mostly non-Asian) haven't had such as when "fobs" try too hard to fit in to their counterpart Asian clique that's Americanized and that may be where she got her perception of them being annoying. I understand we have to be PC all the time these days, but it just makes it harder to get to the issue. Of course not all of them are annoying and I know When Doves Cry knows that, but try to understand where she might have been coming from I guess.

And just because we don't think fobs are cool doesn't mean we don't appreciate what our parents have done for us.

[ree-Xi]

To change on the outside, you need to work on what's on the inside.

If that sounds cryptic, think about it. What is the real problem? Take a look at yourself and start there.

[greekone87]

Originally Posted by ree-Xi

To change on the outside, you need to work on what's on the inside.

If that sounds cryptic, think about it. What is the real problem? Take a look at yourself and start there.

Yeah I don't think I'm happy here anymore. The fraternity no longer fits the purpose I've set for myself inside. A lot of red tape, conservatism, and just overall blah and I need to keep moving on and find a place I really fit. I feel so stagnant right now and everything is repetitive. Not even fitting in with these guys anymore as conflicts arise. Used to be one of only two guys that were the most dedicated and running the fraternity. Now losing a lot of my motivation. Guess this isn't the place to be. Wish I could start my own fraternity...oh well.