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Round 1: Open House
Sigma Sigma Sigma – Chuck isn’t so sure he’s into sailing (wouldn’t want to run into John Kerry), but thought he’d give these girls the benefit of the doubt. Especially because they were SOOOO cute and SOOOO nice, you know? Chuck really felt like he clicked with these girls, although in a really generic and ambiguous way.
Phi Mu - The “tent talk” was crazy about this group, but Chuck felt a little ignored by these girls and isn’t so sure he fit in very well. There was this other PNM that totally monopolized the conversation around her and her Dad’s famous business, and then the members couldn’t stop talking long enough for Chuck to get a word in. Chuck got really upset and started punching the girls in super black-belt style, then Chuck round kicked a couple more. Chuck’s Rho Chi talked to Chuck about anger management afterwards. Chuck now has a new Rho Chi.
Kappa Alpha Theta – Chuck spent 10 minutes at this house, thought they were really nice and pretty. And man, would Chuck like to get to know Sheryl Crow better. But then someone mentioned that the flower was the Pansy. Chuck said “What?!” and stormed out. Chuck is not a pansy.
Kappa Kappa Gamma – Chuck liked that this group had THREE symbols: an owl, a key, and some weird French flower. Owl’s are predators, so that’s cool. And if you put keys in between your fingers, they become weapons, which is really sweet. Chuck likes weapons. Chuck really can’t remember the girls very well after this first round because Chuck was thinking about punching Phi Mus with keys basically the whole time.
Zeta Tau Alpha – Chuck felt pretty good about this group. The conversations were very comfortable and the girls were SOOOO cute and SOOOO nice, you know? Chuck really felt like he clicked with these girls, although in a really generic and ambiguous way. Before Chuck knew it, it was time to go. So Chuck left with his crown-topped cupcake. One of the sisters stopped Chuck, though, and said “Our rules keep us from letting you take that cupcake.” Chuck looked at her blankly and said, “My rules say I’m taking this cupcake… and yours.” Chuck left with two cupcakes and ate them both.
Pi Beta Phi - Chuck admits he is predisposed to liking Pi Beta Phi because their symbol, an arrow, is a weapon. Chuck likes weapons, although his fists are ten times deadlier than any man-made weapon like an arrow or M-16. Chuck brought this up with one of the girls who seemed really impressed by Chuck’s knowledge of ammunition, reloading techniques and, of course, Japanese death stars. Chuck told her “you should be really impressed.”
At the end of the day, Chuck had to rank the houses and drop one. Chuck dropped Phi Mu, as he was pretty sure he would not be invited back anyway, as many of the girls were taken to the hospital.
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Hybrid Mode
