Are your dating standards too high or too low?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

Cheerful...here is my question for you...

What are some of the standards that you have?

Out of the ones you you list what are the ones that most of the guys you have dated failed to achieve?

Can you see yourself adjusting those standards that you have?

What are your non negotiables?

Daemon, I really don't have a lot of standards. I do think one of the most important decisions I can make in life is choosing the right partner. I think choosing the right partner will contribute to my future happiness. We only live once, and the last thing I want is to be with a guy I have no chemistry with. Most women I know are still looking, content with the guy they have, or they wish they had a better one. I want a guy who will commit to me for the long haul. A guy that's loyal, and values it. I want a guy who is more of a listener than a talker, a guy who has a great sense of humor, a guy with ambition, and no he doesn't have to be rich or anything like that, but I want him to achieve his goals no matter what they are,(as long as it's legal) because if he achieves his goals and enjoys what he does, then I think that can contribute happiness to the relationship. I mean, who wants to be with someone who hates his/her job, wakes up grumpy and goes to bed grumpy?

No guy is perfect and I know I can't have everything I want, but the most important things are a must have.

The last guy I was with, wasn't very honest with me. Honesty is very important to me. His dishonesty made me feel isolated from him and I started to grow further and further away emotionally and physically. Guys like that fall short. The other guys I just dated, but most of them, I wasn't physically attracted to.

I can adjust some of the standards I have, but not very many. I do think sometimes we have to adjust some of the standards we have, because if we didn't I think most of us if not all of us would be lonely.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Daemon, I really don't have a lot of standards. I do think one of the most important decisions I can make in life is choosing the right partner. I think choosing the right partner will contribute to my future happiness. We only live once, and the last thing I want is to be with a guy I have no chemistry with. Most women I know are still looking, content with the guy they have, or they wish they had a better one. I want a guy who will commit to me for the long haul. A guy that's loyal, and values it. I want a guy who is more of a listener than a talker, a guy who has a great sense of humor, a guy with ambition, and no he doesn't have to be rich or anything like that, but I want him to achieve his goals no matter what they are,(as long as it's legal) because if he achieves his goals and enjoys what he does, then I think that can contribute happiness to the relationship. I mean, who wants to be with someone who hates his/her job, wakes up grumpy and goes to bed grumpy?

No guy is perfect and I know I can't have everything I want, but the most important things are a must have.

The last guy I was with, wasn't very honest with me. Honesty is very important to me. His dishonesty made me feel isolated from him and I started to grow further and further away emotionally and physically. Guys like that fall short. The other guys I just dated, but most of them, I wasn't physically attracted to.

I can adjust some of the standards I have, but not very many. I do think sometimes we have to adjust some of the standards we have, because if we didn't I think most of us if not all of us would be lonely.

See...from what I read, that's not asking for a lot...or in some cases can be considered broad...but what I do like is that is that you show that you are open to compromise and not nit picky over small stuff in your assessment.

Honesty does mean a lot and to me it may be a small thing but that small thing goes a long long way.

Sometimes though, people just go too, dammit far....LOL

Alright people...here is a question.

When in assessing someone else's standards (whether it was someone you dated or someone that was a friend) what was perhaps the most unrealistic or unbelieveable standard that person had set?

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

See...from what I read, that's not asking for a lot...or in some cases can be considered broad

Why was that broad? Please explain.

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

Why was that broad? Please explain.

Ok...you have some people that when asked what are they looking for in a mate, they say the basics and not really go into detail, but it depends on the listener. Once the listener has an idea of what the basics are, they set out to achieve being successful at doing just enough without really going above and beyond...

For instance, and it may be trivial but you would be surprised, you say you want an honest guy. But honest about what exactly?

Some people can work on basics but what about details?

And let's face it...on the other side of the spectrum they may be too honest borderline blunt, or, you may know the whole storybook too soon because of that honesty.

And besides....how honest are both sides really willing to be?

That's where standards kick in. How much of yourself are you willing to give up to the other person and is it equitable to what they are also putting on the table?

My dating standards:

Someone who is honest
Financially stable
Independent
1 or no kids
Non smoker
Not a lot of emotional luggage
Can hold a good conversation

and those are some of my beginners.

take a wild guess at what are my non negotiables are and why....*wink*

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

My dating standards:

Someone who is honest
Financially stable
Independent
1 or no kids
Non smoker
Not a lot of emotional luggage
Can hold a good conversation

Pretty close to mine. Although, at my age, throw in that grown kids are ok too.
Also, they are open-minded, athletic and are not a penny-pincher

[DaemonSeid]

Originally Posted by Benzgirl

Pretty close to mine. Although, at my age, throw in that grown kids are ok too.
Also, they are open-minded, athletic and are not a penny-pincher

See...exactly...the kids (as I have gotten older) iI kind of bend to because most women my age range have grown kids but 20 years ago it was a deal breaker.

[PrettyBoy]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

See...exactly...the kids (as I have gotten older) iI kind of bend to because most women my age range have grown kids but 20 years ago it was a deal breaker.

At 1st I wouldn't get serious with a woman with kids, because I don't have any of my own, but now I would, as long as they weren't any bay bay's kids.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by DaemonSeid

When in assessing someone else's standards (whether it was someone you dated or someone that was a friend) what was perhaps the most unrealistic or unbelieveable standard that person had set?

I want to answer this. I've had unrealistic standards thrown at me, but they were standards that he wasn't attracted to. As far as I know of it had nothing to do with me as a person. I think sometimes if not most of the time, a great personality can out weigh the physical down falls, and that can be in the way a person carries themselves, the way that person dresses, or anything for that matter.