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I never imagined recruitment would turn out this way. I entered recruitment with a very casual attitude, but so much has changed since just four days ago. Tonight was very emotional and many tears were shed; I'm still in shock at what I'm feeling.
Tonight was pref, and we could be invited to a max of 2 chapters. One of my friends was cut by all of them, as were a number of other people. This was surprising to me since our school isn't necessarily very competitive in terms of recruitment. I retuned to Summer and Autumn, both of the chapters I visited last night, and I was relieved to be asked back by both of them.
I went to Summer first. The lights were really dim there and as we came in, we were each given a flower and paired off with a sister (just like the previous nights). I didn't know this girl, but we chatted for a few minutes until girls started coming out with little desserts (so amazing by the way) and drinks. They were clearly all looking for specific people and the girl who came to me is one I've known through the past semester through extracurriculars. It was nice to get to speak with her- we hadn't really spoken at all during recruitment since we already knew each other. We were talking with a group of people, and at some point the rest of them left and went off to another side of the room. She started to tell me how much she had enjoyed getting to know me and how she wished we had gotten to spend more time together, how I'd kept her connected to things.. it's hard to explain what she was saying but it touched me so much. She started to cry and they were starting their ceremony, and I just didn't know how to react. The ceremony was beautiful, with singing and the sisters speaking about what the sorority meant to them. I spoke with her a little more after the ceremony ended, before it was time to leave. I really didn't know what to say and I realized it was going to be a very difficult decision.
At Autumn, we were immediately matched up with the sister who was preffing us. I was glad to see that the girl I was with was the one I had clicked so well with two nights ago. We were welcomed and chatted for a while before the ceremony began. We were lined up with the sister we were with behind us, and they went around the circle and spoke about what each of us would bring to Autumn and then lit a candle. After that was finished, they addressed us as a group and then the sisters blew out our candles. Their ceremony was so sweet and very individual. I was so torn after this.
I must have sat for about a half an hour trying to decide what to put on my bid card. There were so many things factoring into my decision, and I NEVER dreamed it would be this difficult. I went in tonight expecting to pref Autumn and maybe even suicide- but I just couldn't make a decision. Any decision I made seemed to carry so much weight, and I just couldn't bear to put either of the chapters second. I contemplated putting nothing on my bid card, but I couldn't bring myself to do that either. In the end, I put Summer first and Autumn second, then handed in my bid card before I could change my mind and got out of there. I spent a long time talking to my friends afterward- I was really emotional. I don't know if I made the right choice... I suppose I'll find out tomorrow. I really thought tonight would be visiting two chapters and signing my bid card without much deliberation... instead it was very confusing, very emotional and sprinkled with tears. I really hope I made the right choice.
Tomorrow I'll get a call around 9am if I didn't get a bid; otherwise, one of the chapters will come to my room around 10-11am. I'm both excited and really nervous for tomorrow... I've never doubted myself this much on a decision before!
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Hybrid Mode
