"Dropping" your girlfriend (with a twist)

[SuperblySigma]

I'm with fantASTic--I've only known one Greek lesbian couple, and they are initiates of the same sorority.

[Ilaria Ame]

Originally Posted by SuperblySigma

I'm with fantASTic--I've only known one Greek lesbian couple, and they are initiates of the same sorority.

oohhhh, i didn't think that was allowed! i know in LPsiD, we are open to all women, but we specify that a relationship with another sister is grounds for forced deactivation (of both members). it's just too messy.

[Senusret I]

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

oohhhh, i didn't think that was allowed! i know in LPsiD, we are open to all women, but we specify that a relationship with another sister is grounds for forced deactivation (of both members). it's just too messy.

I know you didn't make the rule, so I am not asking you to defend it....

I think it is wise to specify the relationships between initiates and prospective members because of the inescapable imbalance of power between Greek and Pledge.

But I don't agree with forbidding two people with an equal power balance from dating. Some things shouldn't be legislated.

I look at APO as an example -- straight people in APO can (and do) date, get married, breed, etc. I don't see why a same-gender couple couldn't also successfully be in a relationship.

Yes, it can get messy if the other members of the organization get involved -- that happens in APO, too.

[33girl]

I wouldn't be surprised if some chapters of APO DO have a no-dating rule. I know my sorority had a "no dating the sweetheart" rule but let's just say it had varying degrees of compliance, and no one would have ever been terminated over it.

[Ilaria Ame]

Originally Posted by Senusret I

I know you didn't make the rule, so I am not asking you to defend it....

I think it is wise to specify the relationships between initiates and prospective members because of the inescapable imbalance of power between Greek and Pledge.

But I don't agree with forbidding two people with an equal power balance from dating. Some things shouldn't be legislated.

I look at APO as an example -- straight people in APO can (and do) date, get married, breed, etc. I don't see why a same-gender couple couldn't also successfully be in a relationship.

Yes, it can get messy if the other members of the organization get involved -- that happens in APO, too.

i think that the rule was made because the founders didn't want to see a split within chapters if a relationship was formed and then broken up. i wouldn't pretend to know for sure though. it makes sense to me but then again, i'm straight, so it really doesn't affect me anyway

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

i think that the rule was made because the founders didn't want to see a split within chapters if a relationship was formed and then broken up. i wouldn't pretend to know for sure though. it makes sense to me but then again, i'm straight, so it really doesn't affect me anyway

Understandable...but in my experience with the couple I previously mentioned, I can't see that happening. We're adults. They have a chaplain to help if something happens, and I think they wouldn't get the rest of the sorority involved.

I see it as discrimination to not allow it, and I'm not really a discriminatory sort of person. Except in recruitment

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Understandable...but in my experience with the couple I previously mentioned, I can't see that happening. We're adults. They have a chaplain to help if something happens, and I think they wouldn't get the rest of the sorority involved.

Are you trying to say that since you been in college NONE of your friends have had ANY drama with each other over a relationship?

Sorority memebers are still college women, and college women cause drama. It hasn't been a problem, yet, but if they BREAK UP - that's where the problems are going to come in...

[fantASTic]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Are you trying to say that since you been in college NONE of your friends have had ANY drama with each other over a relationship?

Sorority memebers are still college women, and college women cause drama. It hasn't been a problem, yet, but if they BREAK UP - that's where the problems are going to come in...

No, you're right - but the girls that I KNOW are very aware of the situation they are in, and as they took a risk in coming out both as gay and as in a relationship, I think they were very prepared for what could happen. I don't think that they would allow a breakup to split the chapter, if only because they keep their relationship very discrete and very personal. At chapter events, they hang out together, but you won't see them holding hands or kissing. Many of the sisters had NO idea until they were told, myself included.

I think that their situation will make them act much more maturely IF they break up. But like I said, I am basing this off the ONE couple that I know.

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Understandable...but in my experience with the couple I previously mentioned, I can't see that happening. We're adults. They have a chaplain to help if something happens, and I think they wouldn't get the rest of the sorority involved.

I see it as discrimination to not allow it, and I'm not really a discriminatory sort of person. Except in recruitment

When I was advising the collegians, we had major drama when two sisters (in the same chapter -- MINE!) decided to be in a relationship. It was okay for a while, they even lived together...and then they broke up. It was a nightmare because the chapter was divided. Some girls decided that they were "Team E" and the others "Team S". "E" graduated, so the drama went down a little, but "S" remained, and to our horror, started dating "E2". The entire chapter got involved in that whole soap opera.

Thankfully, no drama there. "S" and "E2" both graduated and are still together 3 years later.

[unhappy-active]

I was reading these posts and something kinda funny came to my mind. I am gay but closeted obviously as I am a greek macho. So girls who are dating bros of my frat are allowed to wear smaller letters on shirts and sweatshirts... they arent the same size as an active's letters but they are still my frats name. I have a boyfriend/partner whatever u wanna call it. The other day we were walking in the park and I was wearing my letters and he wasn't wearing a sweater. The night got pretty cold and I offered him to wear my letters but before handing my letters to him I turned them inside out, so he's not technically wearing them. All this because it bothers the hell out of me that people who aren't members of my frat wear the letters.

[RushLeader08]

i dont let anyone else wear my sorority letters but i think you are so unhappy because you are not supposed to be gay. but i do like how you made your sweater inside out so he could be warm. girls would love a guy like you. too bad for us i guess.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by RushLeader08

i think you are so unhappy because you are not supposed to be gay.

Whatever.

[Leslie Anne]

Originally Posted by RushLeader08

i think you are so unhappy because you are not supposed to be gay.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by Ilaria Ame

oohhhh, i didn't think that was allowed! i know in LPsiD, we are open to all women, but we specify that a relationship with another sister is grounds for forced deactivation (of both members). it's just too messy.

I don't think most NPC orgs have had that issue come up enough to mandate anything to do with it, especially termination. There might be some individual chapters that have made bylaws against it, but I don't think they could turn termination papers in to HQ with the reason being that they dated another sister.

[Leslie Anne]

Interesting question. This is a situation where my heart and my head tell me two different things. I've seen plenty of girls wearing their boyfriend's lettered shirts/sweatshirts and thought nothing of it.

Since I don't have any problem with gays or lesbians, logically I shouldn't have a problem with a girl wearing her girlfriend's letters or a guy wearing his boyfriend's letters...but I do. I think the only reason is because it could be interpreted as that person being a member.

Except when you put a co-ed organization into it, I flip-flop on the issue and think it's okay for a non-member to wear their SO's letters. Or do I? Hmm, maybe not.

I think maybe I'm just a stickler for the importance of wearing letters since I don't even think New Members should wear them until their initiated. (Although my sorority's policy contradicts that.) If I saw a girl/woman wearing a shirt with big Kappa Delta letters on it I'd excitedly say, "Oh my gosh! You're a KD?!" If she replied with, "No, my girlfriend is." I wouldn't say anything about it, but it would bother me. Same situation but with a lavalier...I'd think "Aww, how sweet!"

Okay, so someone help me out here. Given my feelings about letters, why do I think it's okay for a girl to wear her boyfriend's letters? I hate it when I realize I have double standards.