Tipping

[33girl]

Originally Posted by sageofages

That automatic tip charge bugs me to no end!

I would tip way more than the "auto charge" for good service when the table is that big (seriously one night we tipped $150 for a $400 4-person meal, the service was the *best* I ever had!), but when it is taken out of my control, I do not tip anything more than what is added to my bill.

If you really want to tip more, leave it on the table. I'm sure they're not going to chase after you and give it back. The problem is, like many people said, groups can either be feast or famine so they have to protect themselves. By the time 15 people figure out who got what, sometimes people undertip through no fault of their own...I've seen it happen often.

[Cardinal026]

I've worked at two restaurants that had a policy where gratuity had to be added to checks for large parties. I always hated it, because I tend to average pretty high tips, and most people would just leave it at whatever the added gratuity was. But, I didn't have a choice.

Also, as for tipping out, the rules have been different at all 9 restaurants/bars I have worked at. Some have you tip out on sales, some have you tip out on tips, some restaurants pay them so you don't have to - there's really no rhyme or reason to it.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by 33girl

By the time 15 people figure out who got what, sometimes people undertip through no fault of their own...I've seen it happen often.

Or, someone sees the person next to them throw down $2-3 and figures that's good for them too, and the person on the other side of them does the same thing...

Although I must say, some of my best tips came from large groups of Greeks. Of course, I would throw my PanHel affiliation out there, for good measure.

[LeslieAGD]

Unless I have really bad service, I generally tip between 18-22%. I usually also tip above that when the service is excellent.

I don't have a problem with the auto-tip being added to large parties at all! Sometimes when you dine with that many, people will be cheap or not add up their portion properly and the server often times is the one who gets screwed. Also, I think young people tend to be bad tippers...I remember when I was in high school and 10-15 of us would get together and go out to eat late at night; there was always someone who walked out or didn't put down enough money and I felt bad for our servers. And, sometimes, people will just round the cost of their meal up and assume that covers the tax and tip (think again!).

As I mentioned in the "do you eat it or send it back" thread, I have no problem tipping when someone does a personal service for me, but it bothers me that nearly every shop now has a tip cup on their counter.

[twinkle555]

i have grat-ed a table once at my restaurant,and it turned out to be so confusing (our system is really old/confusing/sh*tty) that i swore i would never do it again..and i havent. it usually works out.

As for bartenders/bussers/hosts..the majority that i have known get paid the same as servers (the $2-$3 and change range), get tip-out from servers. not only that, but food-runners on busy nights will cost servers a few extra bucks. the most annoying thing to me that i havent really seen on this thread or the other one it branched from, is when tables are just flat out rude, run you around everytime u go to the table, then tip you 15% or LESS. I am always polite and personable to tables, and that just kills me!

The bartenders at my place cringe when they get to-go orders b/c 90% of the time they get no tip. i bartended for a little when at my last place, and i didnt really care b/c i knew i would make a good amount from my bar guests and server tip out. but still, to-go servers and bartenders do deserve it b/c they are neglecting their other duties/bar guests to serve you by getting you order together. besides, it still goes into their sales, just like a normal server, so they should get tipped.

[jwright25]

Originally Posted by twinkle555

The bartenders at my place cringe when they get to-go orders b/c 90% of the time they get no tip. i bartended for a little when at my last place, and i didnt really care b/c i knew i would make a good amount from my bar guests and server tip out. but still, to-go servers and bartenders do deserve it b/c they are neglecting their other duties/bar guests to serve you by getting you order together. besides, it still goes into their sales, just like a normal server, so they should get tipped.

I was thinking that it makes sense for bartenders to handle the to-go orders since they get a tip-out from the floor servers even when the servers didn't sell alcohol.... Then when the pick-up customers don't tip, it's made up when they get money from the floor without making drinks. But I've never served, so I don't know if it works out evenly or not and only came to that conclusion from reading these two threads!

I have always been a higher than 15% tipper - usually 25% minimum (which drives my husband insane). But I absolutely ABHOR getting auto-gratuitized. Yes, I understand completely that it is a gamble to the server who should probably err on the side of safety. I guess it just makes me feel like the server ASSUMES I am cheap and will stiff them. Oh well - guess there's nothing I can do about it.

Here's a question to the servers on here: How do you feel about people leaving you a tip of 4.37 on a 20.63 tab to make their total charge an even number? Do you really have to count out the pennies? Is it a pain in the butt? I've always figured it best for the server to leave an even dollar amount for a tip to take out of the register, but if everything is totaled up at the end of the day, maybe the 37 cents isn't that big of a crime???

[twinkle555]

[QUOTE=Here's a question to the servers on here: How do you feel about people leaving you a tip of 4.37 on a 20.63 tab to make their total charge an even number? Do you really have to count out the pennies? Is it a pain in the butt? I've always figured it best for the server to leave an even dollar amount for a tip to take out of the register, but if everything is totaled up at the end of the day, maybe the 37 cents isn't that big of a crime???[/QUOTE]

i dont care either way

[ASUADPi]

I tend to tip pretty good, especially if I have great service. I do the bare minimum of 10% if the service is lousy (I've tipped less and complained as well) and I've given up to 50% (but that was to my sister-in-law ).

As for the auto-gratuity. I can see it as good and bad. It honestly depends on the server. I remember when I graduated from high school, about 30-40 of us went out to dinner. Well because we were a huge party the tip was already included. Well our server, since she knew she was being tipped no matter what, was shitty. It took her 30 minutes to come and take our drink orders, she forgot my table entirely. It took her another 30-45 minutes to bring the drinks out (and again my table still hadn't gotten an order in for drinks). It took like an hour for our food to come and she didn't come to check on us at all. Finally our school student council president (who was a friend of mine) when and complained to the manager (she did it because being the student council president she was an eloquent speaker). The manager actually complied with our request to take her auto-gratuity off. None of us felt she deserved it when she refused to check on us, during a 2-2 1/2 hour time frame only came to the table like 3 times and was a bitch. We each only left her like a dollar in tip, which is sad considering our bill was between 5-6 hundred dollars. But she didn't deserve the 18% tip.

Originally Posted by LeslieAGD

I know this is off topic, but I detest when a server brings your food and then immediately sets the bill down on the table.
HELLO?!? How incredibly rude is that!?! Let me enjoy my meal in peace for a few minutes at the bare minimum!

I see where you are coming from, but I'd much rather a server give me the bill then. I absolutely detest sitting at the table waiting and waiting and waiting for your bill. You can't find your server because who the heck knows where they are, and your just like "okay I'd really like to leave now". That's happened so many times to me. I wonder if it's just an Arizona thing?

[Army Wife'79]

I see where you are coming from, but I'd much rather a server give me the bill then. I absolutely detest sitting at the table waiting and waiting and waiting for your bill. You can't find your server because who the heck knows where they are, and your just like "okay I'd really like to leave now". That's happened so many times to me. I wonder if it's just an Arizona thing?[/QUOTE]

Me too! I love it when they leave the check early and then before I take my first bite, I put my credit card down. When I'm done eating, many times I want to bolt outta there b/c I'm a "type A" person and don't waste time. Of course when I'm out with friends and it's a social event I don't pay early, but when I'm alone or if hubby and I are travelling, it's much easier to just have that part done with.

[AGDee]

So tonight, for my daughter's birthday, she chose to go to PM Mama's restaurant! We had excellent service and I tipped the server way better than my ex husband was going to! (Food was awesome too.. I don't think I'm gonna have to eat tomorrow because I'm so full)

[twinkle555]

I just had the WORST service everrrr and I just need to vent about it!

So we just had Big/Lil breakfast at IHOP (which is my fave breakfast place so its nothing the restaurant did). Anyways, we said we had 20 people coming and the hostess laughed and was like "are you serious!?"......uhh no were effing with you, of course were serious!!

We follow her to this private-ish area of the restaurant...but she didnt set up the tables or anything...she sat us in seperate booths and 4 of the girls got stuck on the other side of this room!! that is NOT how you seat a party of 20!
So then the new member educator shows up a lil late and pulls up a chair to our table. The server comes up to us with this snarky attitude and says "Uhh you cant sit there..I wont be able to serve around you." Riiiight. We had to explain to her that it will be fine and she wont be in the way. Then she tells the 4 girls on the other side of the room that they have to come sit in the table next to the booths. So they pick up and move to the table next to one of the booths. THe server then tells them they cant sit there either and makes them move to the table next to our booth. I was irritated at this point b/c they really should have set up a 20 top instead of moving my sisters around like they are cattle.

So then we order. All i wanted was fruit..I had been craving it all morning. So i TRY to order the fresh fruit and yogurt platter. The server then tells me that I shouldnt get that because its not good....ok...not the choice of words I would have picked but whatever. I then just ask her if i can get a bowl of fruit sans yogurt.She replies "Uh well its kind of the fruit part that isnt good...it isnt fresh." WTF......is she for real? It kind of made me wonder what else "wasnt fresh". So after we ate, she came back to our table to gather our dishes..i then ask her to put my and my littles checks together b/c i didnt have the chance earlier. I get more of her snarky attitude and she tells me she "already had them seperated but she GUESSES she can put them back."

She takes our checks at the door, swiping each of our cards and staring down at us when we write the tip and sign. Also, doesnt say thanks or have a nice day or anything. So rude. I went last and i was sooooooo tempted to ask for the manager..which is something i have never even thought about doing before..but I refrained. She stares at me writing her tip and then SNATCHES the receipt from my hand and storms off to the kitchen.

Worst bitch EVER. Am I right?

[christiangirl]

I generally tip 15% then round up to the next dollar amount. Or, if it was a really good server, I'll go higher. I don't work out percentages, I just guesstimate on what I think is fair. If my meal was $25 and you were good, I'll leave you $5. If you were excellent, I might go as high as $8. I don't really care what percent that is, it just sounds fair to me.

But I have no problem tipping low if the service was bad. I can only remember one time when I didn't leave a tip at all. I went to a girl's birthday party at a restaurant and the waitress had the most HORRIFIC attitude. Apparently, she went to our school and knew a couple of us, but I'd never seen her before. She was rude and snotty, hardly ever returned to our table. It was almost impossible to get a refill from her and when one of us would flag her down to ask, she huffed and rolled her eyes like we were asking for her stem cells. She took forever bringing our food and messed up the majority of the orders, then doubled the attitude when we asked her to fix it. Granted, we were large party and took up about 2 1/2 tables and the place was pretty busy, but we were all polite and tried to have good conversation with her. She was just acting so awful and catty, you'd have thought one of us did something to her. One of the guys told her (gently) that her rudeness was not necessary and if we had offended her to just let us know instead of all the attitude, and she just snapped at him about minding his business. We called the manager over and asked for a different server to bring us dessert. We just did not want to see her again and none of us left her anything. We did leave tips for the girl who served us dessert, she was very kind and even though she was busy, she never forgot about us. That's the only time and I fully think she deserved the big pile of nothing that she got. When I suspect a server's just having a bad day, I usually tip high to brighten it instead of the opposite, but she was just being ridiculous.

[PM_Mama00]

Originally Posted by Tom Earp

I do not, go out that much as No, I cannot afford it, do you?

If you want to tip everyone then please feel free to do so. Then maybe you will be eating home more often!

Actually I go out to eat quite oftenand I always tip very well as long as the service was up to par.

[Tom Earp]

Originally Posted by PM_Mama00

Actually I go out to eat quite oftenand I always tip very well as long as the service was up to par.

I think I said some where along the thread, that I posted, that I TIP very well for the service.

But if it isn't, then I do not.

Now, if I go out and pay @ $30.00 for a dinner that I can pay @ $5.00 for and fix at home, how much of a choice is that?

Either fix at home and buy gasoline or????

[sugar and spice]

Lots of random questions to answer! I know some of these have been answered already, but I thought I'd add a little bit more perspective.

Several posters have mentioned that servers have to "tip out" the bartenders and bussers at the end of the evening. But it was my understanding that those folks didn't make the lower tipping minimum wage, but who make actual minimum wage. Why should servers, who earn less with the assumption that they will make up for it in tips, have to share their tips with those who make actual minimum wage?

It depends on the restaurant, but bussers almost never make minimum wage, bartenders may or may not. Hostesses will make minimum wage if they are not tipped-out, but less if they are tipped-out (I've never worked at a place that tipped out the hostesses, although I know they exist). At one restaurant that I work at, bartenders only make $3.50/hour, and absolutely depend on tip-outs to make a living. Usually I tip out $2-7 a night, and if you multiply that by the 6-12 other servers on the floor -- and take into account that all the money is going to just one bartender -- it adds up. Without tip-outs, they would be walking out with less money than the servers; with tip-outs, they walk out with about the same amount or slightly more. This is true of most corporate chain restaurants and the independently owned restaurants that operate like chains.

The other place I work at is more of a true bar. The bartenders all make at least $6/hour, and tip-outs matter less -- I generally tip out, at most, five dollars, which is usually split between 2-3 bartenders, and there are only ever four waitresses on the floor at once, so their tip-outs don't add up to much. There, the tip-out system is really just to encourage an atmosphere of cooperation: if part of their income comes from you, bartenders are more likely to be respectful towards you, and you retain some degree over control over your tip-outs . . . for example, you can tip the bartender who makes your drinks fastest more than the other ones who ignore them.

Basically, it's the same rationale for using the tip system when dining -- people are (theoretically) nicer to you when you have some impact on their income, and those who tip out more are rewarded. Capitalism at its finest, essentially.

But what I absolutely loathe is the included 18% gratuity that is automatically put on the bill of a party of 6 or more. If they're a good server, they lose out because now I'll only give them 18% versus the 20% plus that I would've given had gratuity not been included. Also, why should I have to pay 18% is the service is terrible?

Here's a tip for people who don't like the auto-grat: if something is listed as a "service charge" on your bill, you have to pay it. If something is listed as an "automatic gratuity," you do not have to pay it. Legally speaking, it's only a guideline and not an obligation. So while I wouldn't recommend it, you can leave less than the gratuity or nothing at all and have no fear that they're going to send the police to your doorstep the next morning.

Conversely, there's nothing saying that you can't leave more than the auto-gratuity, and many people do. I don't understand why adding the auto-gratuity to a bill would stop anyone from leaving extra if the service was great? I'd say that 20-30 percent of my tables that have an automatic gratuity check will still leave me a little or even a lot extra, and I always appreciate it.

Adding the gratuity is done because taking big parties generally takes up a server's full section and is a lot more work for both the server and the kitchen than separate smaller tables -- timing becomes a lot trickier, plus the server usually can't wait on any other tables while she's taking a big party, and big tables tend to linger longer and talk, which prevents the server from taking any new tables after her big party is done and making money off of those. It's very hard to keep up with a more demanding large party, and it hurts a lot more to be screwed on a tip on a $200 table (that stayed so long they were your only table that night!) than it does to be screwed on a tip on a $35 table that was one of many. For example, last night an entire boys' basketball team (30 people once you counted the coaches) came into the restaurant where I work -- it's state tournament weekend. They took up more than two full servers' sections, took three servers to wait on them, made us keep extra servers on late (servers who couldn't take any other tables while they were waiting on them), made us stay open late . . . and left not a single cent as a tip. This restaurant does not allow adding the gratuity to large parties, so all the servers got burned, and had to do an extra two hours' worth of work for no payoff. Adding the gratuity is just insurance against stuff like that.

Lastly, adding the gratuity to large parties is usually mandated by the restaurant, and not up to the server, so please don't punish your server for doing it to you! Often, they have no choice.

I wonder, though, if gender does make a difference in how a server is tipped. Will a woman-patron tip more for a male server? My hunch is probably yes.

Oh, definitely. I get much better tips from male patrons. My boyfriend, who's a bartender, thinks that females tip better. I've dated a number of bartenders and they've always gotten better tips from women.

I know this is off topic, but I detest when a server brings your food and then immediately sets the bill down on the table.
HELLO?!? How incredibly rude is that!?! Let me enjoy my meal in peace for a few minutes at the bare minimum!

It's certainly rude if it's intended to push you out the door, but that's not always the reason for it. More and more restaurants are training their servers to do this, at least at lunch, because so many guests are businessmen/women on their lunch breaks who are in a hurry and don't want to wait for the server to drop the check at the end of the meal. People are so impatient these days that they'll complain about having to wait a couple minutes for their check at the end of the meal. So dropping it off early makes for a more efficient payment process.

That said, I think it's rude so I don't do it even though I'm trained to. The only time I'll do it is if my table tells me that they're in a hurry, and then I'll explain to them that it's only there for their convenience and that they're welcome to stay as long as they want.

Everybody should keep in mind that often -- especially at chain restaurants -- servers are required by management to do things that they would never do if they were allowed to operate autonomously. These things include adding automatic gratuities, dropping checks early, pushy suggestive selling, gratingly perky "Welcome to _____!" shpiels, carding people who are obviously over 21, etc. If they don't do these things, they can get fired. So if a server's doing something like this that you don't like, think about it for a few minutes and try to figure out if it's really their choice or if it's a management/corporate decision. Don't punish your server via a low tip for doing things that they're probably required to do -- instead, write a letter to the management or, where appropriate, the corporate offices, explaining why that policy frustrates you.

Maybe this has been covered but I am too lazy to read through the entire thread-is it better to tip in cash?

A lot of places it doesn't really matter. Back before computers were invented (lol), it was better to tip in cash because the waitresses would walk out with it right away, as opposed to getting credit card tips later. But these days, computers generally keep track of the credit card tips and adjust, so you walk out with all your tips anyway.

That said, a good credit card tip is always better than a bad cash tip. I've had people pay with a credit card, leave me a bad tip in cash, shrug and tell me, "That's all I have in cash." So put it on the card, dumb@$$ -- that's what the "gratuity" line is there for!