Which sorority was your Rho Chi in?

[ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl]

I was wrong about all two of mine. I guessed the Phi Mu was a DG, the DG was an ADPi, and the Chi O I got right.

We made our group guess every night. I was overwhelmingly a Chi O on the first night. By the third about a fourth were convinced I was a DG because they swore that my "sisters" had accidentally left a picture of me uncovered. Neither I nor the DG's I know can figure out who I got mixed up with to this day. Two thought I was an ADPi because I talked to their alum a lot and got bleary-eyed at their video (I was Exec and got to go into the parties and that video was amazing), only a few guessed Alpha Gam. One said I had the personality for it (the best compliment I got the whole time) and one said she just couldn't see me anywhere else. They didn't guess anything else.


On Pref night I on purpose chose to wear what the Chi O's wear on Pref night (they wear black and pearls, which we wear on Open House, and red and pearls on Open House, which we wear for pref, so I just switched) since the majority of my group thought I was one. I went to my own pref party first and tried as hard as I could not to cry, but in the end I did. A few of them even saw it. I had many of the same girls for Chi O, which I went to next. I sat next to their adviser and talked to her, but didn't even get close to tearing up (they have a great pref, but it's not the same when it's not your own chapter). My girls were walking out of the room winking at me and giving me thumbs up. And I am going...

COME ON.

Besides, if I were a Chi O, would I really have worn my own Pref night outfit to pref? Wouldn't that be TOO easy?

[aephi alum]

Originally Posted by ΑΓΔSquirrelGirl

Besides, if I were a Chi O, would I really have worn my own Pref night outfit to pref? Wouldn't that be TOO easy?

Sneaky

When I was a rho chi, we were instructed not to wear anything resembling any chapter's pref night outfits on pref night. The Alpha Phis wore white and everyone else wore black, so that meant we could wear whatever we wanted as long as it wasn't all-black or all-white. I wore a black-and-white print.

[DGTess]

We didn't have such creatures. We had summertime "big sisters" who were really pen pals who were sorority members. They weren't required to hide their affiliation.

Nor were we required to visit all the chapters on campus.

[MaggieXi]

When I was a Rho Chi, we interviewed talked with our groups about stereotypes on the first day (i.e. there are different kinds of people in every org) and from those meetings we extracted what we thought some of the steroetypes were and tried to break those thoughts throughout recruitment. One of the fun things we did was wear things things that the PNMs claimed that certain sororities wore (Phi Mus always wore Tiffany silver pearls with silver pearl earings, Sigma Kappa always wore overalls, ZTA always wore black pants, AZDs were "hippie-ish"). So different Rho Chis would wear those stereotype outfits to PNM meetings. The night before Rho Chi reveal we had the girls sooo confused, one PNM would say that I was a Phi Mu because she saw me wear tiffanys silver pearls, another would say that I was a SK because I wore overalls....

My Rho Chis were an AZD (though I swore she was a Phi Mu) and a Phi Mu (who I swore was a Zeta).

[33girl]

Originally Posted by DGTess

We didn't have such creatures. We had summertime "big sisters" who were really pen pals who were sorority members. They weren't required to hide their affiliation.

Nor were we required to visit all the chapters on campus.

I wasn't either, but I did anyway, because I didn't want to assume the first person who was nice to me in a sorority was in the right sorority for me.

I didn't have a Rho Chi because I went through structured informal - the only disaffiliated people were the Panhel officers (one of whom became my 3 big).

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by DGTess

We didn't have such creatures. We had summertime "big sisters" who were really pen pals who were sorority members. They weren't required to hide their affiliation.

Nor were we required to visit all the chapters on campus.

Why are you so against Rho Chis, Tess?

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Why are you so against Rho Chis, Tess?

She's apparently against anything traditionally Greek.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

She's apparently against anything traditionally Greek.

And because using Rho Chis and forcing all rushees to go to every house is denying these young women their individuality and responsibility to take care of themselves. Why do they need to be lead around campus by the nose and required to spend 20 minutes with a group before making a lifelong decision that is then followed by a much-too-short pledge period? They should know everything at 18 or 19, they are adults after all, should experience the "good" parts of hazing and don't need to be beaten over the head by risk management training.

... or something to that effect.... am I close?

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

And because using Rho Chis and forcing all rushees to go to every house is denying these young women their individuality and responsibility to take care of themselves. Why do they need to be lead around campus by the nose and required to spend 20 minutes with a group before making a lifelong decision that is then followed by a much-too-short pledge period? They should know everything at 18 or 19, they are adults after all, should experience the "good" parts of hazing and don't need to be beaten over the head by risk management training.

... or something to that effect.... am I close?

Thank you for replying in my stead.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

She's apparently against anything traditionally Greek.

Thank you for responding in my stead.

And no, for all your astute observations, I'm not. I'm all for candle-passing ceremonies, rushing, pledging, semester-long pledgeships, pledge rituals, and life-long commitment. I believe pledges should get to know all the sisters in the house, should have to do chores for the good of the house, and should learn. I believe sisterhood is for life, but I don't like all my blood sisters either.

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

Why are you so against Rho Chis, Tess?

I don't believe in hiding affiliation.

I believe young women who are attending college are capable of making up their own minds. I don't think they need to be spoon-fed; if they make a wrong decision, it's part of the learning experience. We all make wrong decisions in our lives. We learn; we move on.

I don't think it's important to make young women believe any sorority is better than no sorority.

Mind you, I despise formal rush as it's done on most campuses, too. It reminds me of arranged marriages, with PanHel standing in for parents. I think it leads to the type of membership selection that is stereotyped and leads to selection based on looks or clothes rather than souls and minds.

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by DGTess

I believe young women who are attending college are capable of making up their own minds. I don't think they need to be spoon-fed; if they make a wrong decision, it's part of the learning experience. We all make wrong decisions in our lives. We learn; we move on.

I don't think it's important to make young women believe any sorority is better than no sorority.

Mind you, I despise formal rush as it's done on most campuses, too. It reminds me of arranged marriages, with PanHel standing in for parents. I think it leads to the type of membership selection that is stereotyped and leads to selection based on looks or clothes rather than souls and minds.

BINGO!!!! Nailed it!!! Where's my prize?!?

[DGTess]

Nor need you agree with me. However, expecting reward for understanding someone else's position is not very adult, is it?

"Seek first to understand" is a very valuable lesson. Becoming catty about same is less than becoming, in my opinion.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by DGTess

Mind you, I despise formal rush as it's done on most campuses, too. It reminds me of arranged marriages, with PanHel standing in for parents. I think it leads to the type of membership selection that is stereotyped and leads to selection based on looks or clothes rather than souls and minds.

I will agree that the release figure method (RFM, which is what I am assuming is what you despise) can and often does encourage shallow membership selection, particularly with "popular" chapters. If Popular Pi has to cut half of the PNMs after the first round, often, the ones invited back will be pretty, and they may or may not be compatible with the sisters personality-wise. Face it, it's hard to know whether a PNM will fit after meeting her for 15 minutes (or conversely, to be sure enough that she won't fit to place her in half to be cut).

However, Popular Pi does have a choice as to what kind of PNMs they want to invite back. No one forces them to invite gorgeous blondes with tons of money. If they want to have a pledge class that fits their "souls and minds", their members can direct conversation with PNMs in the direction to determine if there is a match. If Popular Pis want to talk about celebrity gossip, what their fathers do for a living, and designer labels with PNMs, that is their prerogative and they'll get what they are looking for. Likewise, if a PNM wants a chapter compatible with her soul and mind, she can steer conversation too.

The RFM is designed to place as many PNMs as possible, which is what I am assuming you mean by "arranged marriages with PanHel playing the part of the parents." Having Popular Pi cut more PNMs after the first round means that more PNMs will return to Small Sigma for the second round. I see what you mean with your analogy, but as a former Rho Gamma, I would never encourage/force/trick a PNM into putting any chapter on her bid card that she would not accept a bid from.

Originally Posted by DGTess

I don't think it's important to make young women believe any sorority is better than no sorority.

I know that not all chapters are equivalent. I know that not every PNM could fit into every chapter. I had a PNM in my group who, after attending her three preference parties, told me that she was dropping out. I was totally fine with that. However, if I had a PNM who wanted to drop out after seeing her invites (ie. anytime before pref parties are over), I would try to convince her to stick it out in case her mind changes (there is nothing to lose by attending the next round), but I'd respect her choice whatever she decided.

Originally Posted by DGTess

I believe young women who are attending college are capable of making up their own minds. I don't think they need to be spoon-fed; if they make a wrong decision, it's part of the learning experience. We all make wrong decisions in our lives. We learn; we move on.

You're absolutely right, young women ARE capable of making up their own minds. A Rho Gamma's job (and PHA's job) is not to make PNMs' decisions for them, but to encourage them to get more information (i.e. don't drop out early) before making a decision, and to make sure they understand the consequences of their decision. I am so glad that my Rho Gamma "spoon fed" me in encouraging me to attend preference after being crushed for being cut from a chapter that I wouldn't have fit in anyway. At some schools, if a PNM does something stupid, she may have seriously damaged her chances to go Greek, if that's what she still wants. What is wrong with some counsel? What's wrong with having someone to answer your questions? Also, some PNMs treat recruitment like a crisis, and there need to be people to handle that. Rho Gammas are also vital in large recruitments if for nothing other than administrative purposes.

Originally Posted by DGTess

I don't believe in hiding affiliation.

I had a PNM in my group tell me that she was torn between my chapter and another chapter. Do you think she would have felt comfortable telling me that if she knew my affiliation?

[DGTess]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

I will agree that the release figure method (RFM, which is what I am assuming is what you despise) can and often does encourage shallow membership selection, particularly with "popular" chapters.

IMO, all the more reason to prohibit rush until Spring semester, when the rushee has had a chance to see the chapters in action (classes, homecoming, football, extracurricular activities) and meet many of the sisters. By then she has a much better idea of which houses are closest in general culture to her temperament, and can choose which to attend.

A Rho Gamma's job (and PHA's job) is not to make PNMs' decisions for them, but to encourage them to get more information (i.e. don't drop out early) before making a decision, and to make sure they understand the consequences of their decision.

Why shouldn't she drop out early? There's next year if she changes her mind, and if she regrets the decision, well, it was her decision.

I am so glad that my Rho Gamma "spoon fed" me in encouraging me to attend preference after being crushed for being cut from a chapter that I wouldn't have fit in anyway.

We differ there. I've always hated being spoon fed.

At some schools, if a PNM does something stupid, she may have seriously damaged her chances to go Greek, if that's what she still wants.

As I said, we all live with bad decisions. It's her decision.

Rho Gammas are also vital in large recruitments if for nothing other than administrative purposes.

Administration is different. Nor should a woman have to hide her affiliation to help with administration.

I had a PNM in my group tell me that she was torn between my chapter and another chapter. Do you think she would have felt comfortable telling me that if she knew my affiliation?

No. I would have expected her to find someone from another chapter to speak with. There is more than one woman in this role, is there not?

And if there is only one, well, someone on one of the recruitment threads likened rush to job interviews. To me, that's yet another reason not to hide affiliation. You don't always get to talk to the person you want to; sometimes you have to talk to the person in the role.

I understand Panhellenic's interest is to have as many women as possible in each chapter. They want to ensure economic viability for a chapter, and garner as much in dues as possible. They believe each chapter should be equally strong. I disagree.

I also think deferred rush with no hiding affiliations is better at doing away with perceptions of "more popular" houses. Once a woman has had a chance to see the houses and how its sisters relate, she will select the one right for her, not the one someone else sees as popular.

Of course, that's a concept I've never understood. How can a woman who comes to campus and rushes the first week, before classes start, possibly know which ones are considered "popular"?

Now I'll grant there's a lot I don't know about big rush. I do know enough that I have no interest in learning more. What I have seen, in the times I've been advisor to chapters, is enough to make me stay away from rush forever.