Dutch Couple Returns Adopted Child After 7 Years

[scbelle]

I am seriously. sick. OMG, what a cruddy thing to do! When being a parent becomes about the adult, you know you've taken a wrong turn. Parenting is about meeting the needs of children. You, as an adult, are there to cater to the child's needs. The child is not there to feed some hole in your soul, or to be a bauble that you can just throw around to fit into the neighborhood. The two biological children will be scarred, I'm sure. They'll probably fear doing anything to get mom or dad mad, because in the back of their minds, they could think, "Hey, if they don't like me, mom and dad can always just give me away." Where's the vomit smilie when you need it?

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by scbelle

Where's the vomit smilie when you need it?

Really well-put post, scbelle.

And here's a vomit smiley -->

I feel the same way!!!

[carnation]

As a longtime adoptive parent, I've seen this in this country before. There are several kinds of 'disruptions': this is the kind that never should have happened because the stupid agency should have picked up on the fact that the couple would be awful adoptive parents. Unfortunately, a lot of agencies will accept anyone with the bucks.

Some disruptions are valid. We've known people who were lied to by agencies about children's problems and the kids came into the adoptive home and immediately tried to burn it down or they (in one case we know of, on the first night) molested kids already in the home.

[AKA_Monet]

I wonder if a couple should do their own background check after they adopt a child or adopt these children when they are older?

I do think that if one is going to go through all that trouble of adoption, and rear a child from infancy, and the child grows up in the home, how can just "return to sender"?

Of course, how are folks having unwanted kids. But that's a different discussion.

[Educatingblue]

I watch the international adoptions sometimes on Adpotion Stories on Discovery Health and I often wonder if the American parents have any idea the challenges of raising a minority child. I understand they desperately want children, but a little research goes a long way.

I will never forget when I was 16 or 17 and worked at Publix supermarket and a lady went through my line with 2 childen. One was Asian sitting in the shopping cart (he was a little dirty and had on cheap shoes and clothes), and the other was a Caucasian baby sitting in his carrier (he was in a brand new carrier, he had on name brand stuff and looked very happy). I commented on how cute and well-behaved her children were...out of the blue she told me that she had adopted the older child and found out she was pregnant as soon as they got back. She then said.................................."I would not have gotten him if I knew we could have a baby!?!?!?!"

Needless to say, I was shocked and at a loss for words.

[carnation]

My husband and I, who are mostly white, have a large family and 5 of the kids are interracially adopted. They've done great--they've made us so proud with their scholastic and extracurricular achievements. We've celebrated their heritages while at the same time, we've made how a child arrived in this family a non-issue. Interracial/intercultural adoption has worked fabulously for us and we couldn't be happier!

[kathykd2005]

This story is just disgusting. This was a child, not a 2 year old pair of shoes, for God's sake! People can't just return children like damaged goods. The story mentions the "mother" having to receive therapy--but what about the poor little girl, who will have abandonment issues for the rest of her life? What a heinous and callous act.

[BabyPiNK_FL]

Well, maybe it'll be for the best in the long run if nothing else. Maybe she'll go to a family in the Korean community (the ones who have allegedly been reaching out ot adopt her) from Hong Kong that will treat her as lovingly as she deserves to be treated. Maybe living with her adoptive parents was bad because obviously they don't treat her as if she were their child. So if it's anything like the prior story of the woman at the grocery store with her adopted baby in cheap clothes looking dirty, then it's definitelyfor the best. No one deserves to grow up like a second class citizen in their own home.

[DSTRen13]

Originally Posted by carnation

My husband and I, who are mostly white, have a large family and 5 of the kids are interracially adopted. They've done great--they've made us so proud with their scholastic and extracurricular achievements. We've celebrated their heritages while at the same time, we've made how a child arrived in this family a non-issue. Interracial/intercultural adoption has worked fabulously for us and we couldn't be happier!

You hear so many horrible stories, it's so nice to hear a positive one like yours

[carnation]

Gracias!