Worst Wedding You've Ever Attended

[Fleur de Lis]

I heard this story from a friend of mine, and it just has to be repeated.

First of all, the bride and groom had already eloped, but didn't want to tell their parents because they wanted a formal wedding, too. The ceremony was set in the middle of a field - no, not rolling green hills but an unkempt, tall weedy field. The procession began from a farmhouse a quarter-mile away, and the party was walking on a cheap paper runner that clung to their shoes, so they were horse-stepping their way down and looking ridiculous.

The officiant begins by quoting divorce statistics. He says the divorce rate for couples like you is staggering, but I know you'll make it because of your friends and family who are here. (My friend is thinking, don't almost ALL weddings include friends and family?) While he's talking, there is a strange coughing noise in the crowd and my friend cannot figure out who it is. Finally, they realize it's the ring bearer, and during one of his coughs, he drops the rings into the knee-high weeds. So they stop the ceremony and spend five minutes trying to find the rings. The officiant never gets back to the friends and family supporting the couple, but it's probably moot anyways.

So the wedding party tramps back up to the farmhouse and the officiant leaves. Well, no one is sure what's next because it didn't say on the invitation. So they're all looking at each other and they hear a "hey ya'll" coming from a white tent a few hundred yards away. The DJ says "bring your chairs and let's have us a party". So everyone, including old ladies and kids, drags their heavy folding chair across the dirty field to this tent. The rest of the reception is fairly uneventful, except for the black-clad mother of the bride hopped up on painkillers and making a fool of herself.

Apparently, the couple is now divorcing. As she puts it, "we probably could have gotten counseling and worked it out, but neither of us really wanted to put in the effort. It's just easier this way".

[nittanyalum]

Originally Posted by Fleur de Lis

the bride and groom had already eloped, but didn't want to tell their parents because they wanted a formal wedding, too

LOL - ok, so if they wanted a "formal" wedding all along, why elope too? And based on what you described, what dictionary do they use to define the word "formal"???

[PhoenixAzul]

Originally Posted by nittanyalum

LOL - ok, so if they wanted a "formal" wedding all along, why elope too? And based on what you described, what dictionary do they use to define the word "formal"???

A friend of mine needed to get married quick, fast, and in a hurry to have health care benefits after college. She and her boy were already planning to get married, but couldn't wait the x amount of months to plan the whole shebang. They still wanted to celebrate w/ their families and friends, but needed to have the legal piece of paper to get the benefits and it couldn't wait.

[SWTXBelle]

My parents married on the way to an April fraternity formal in lovely Seguin, TX in 1963. They kept it "secret", and planned a big wedding - until Mom became preggers with me in August - kinda scotched the winter wedding. (!!!)

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Fleur de Lis

Apparently, the couple is now divorcing. As she puts it, "we probably could have gotten counseling and worked it out, but neither of us really wanted to put in the effort. It's just easier this way".

And we wonder why America's divorce rate is as high as it is?

[carnation]

Thought I'd bump this for more awful wedding stories. The only one I've heard about since then would be one my daughter went to in which a large warehouse was beautifully decorated to look like a winter scene. Then the bride comes down the aisle *dressed like the White Witch from Narnia*. My daughter's teenaged brother-in-law, who has Down Syndrome, made some loud and very audible comment about it and so did his dad in trying to shut him up and their whole family was leaning over in the pew laughing hysterically and silently. As I recall, the women said that their tears of laughter destroyed their makeup.